The Corporate Dating Game

Content GEARI GET A PYTHON PROGRAM GETTING READY FOR DEPLOYMENT

Content I'M 127.0.0.1

THE TRANSFORMATION IS COMPLETE! On the left, we have the office-bound software engineer - dressed in funeral attire, soul slowly being crushed by fluorescent lighting and mandatory meetings about meetings. Meanwhile, the work-from-home engineer on the right has EVOLVED into his final form - flamboyant pants, cigar in mouth, living his BEST LIFE on a golf course at 2pm on a Tuesday! Same coding skills, dramatically different dress codes. The remote revolution has unleashed fashion chaos upon the programming world and I am HERE FOR IT! The office dev probably has perfect git commit messages while the WFH legend's commits are just "fixed stuff" followed by 17 emojis.

Content When the code compiled with O errors and O warnings I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING, BUT I KNOW I'M DOING IT REALLY, REALLY WELL.

Content This is a motherfucking website. And it's fucking pertect. Seriously, what the fuck else do you want? You probably build websit nome page is going to get you some tuCKing Awwward banner vou ca in glue to the top corner of your site. You think your 40-pound Query file and 83 polyfills give IE7 a bones Shit's lightweight and loads fast Fits on all vour shitty screens ooke the came in all vour shitty browsers The mothernicker's accessible to every asshole that visits vour site Shit's legible and gets vour tucking De ss it vou had one instead of must )mo Dics of minsters drinkmo cottee You. Are. Over-designing. Look at this shit. It's a motherfucking website. Why the fuck do you need to animate a fucking trendy-ass banner flag when I hover over that useless piece of shit? You spent hours on it and added 80 kilobvtes to vour fucking site. and some mothertucker jabbing at sep that chit but they don't see any You never knew it but this is vour perfect website Here It's fucking lightweight This entire page weighs less than the gradient-meshed facebook logo on your fucking Wordpress site. Did you seriously load 100kb of Query UI iust so vou could animate the fucking backeround color of a div? You loaded all 7 fontfaces of a shitty webfont iust so vou could say "Hi" at 100px height at the beginning of vour site! It's responsive You dumbose You thought von needed media queries to be reeponeive buteo Responsive meane the it sec to screensize it's viewed on This site doesn't care if vou're on an iMac or a motherfucking Tamagotchi It fucking works Look at this shit You can read ; Courses I'm Currently Teaching (1995) so vou and vour bitch-ass brows It has content on the fucking ser Fall 1995 me clel- come bebling button t ILS tags nd make CS101: How to literally use for-loops CSS89: You will seriously get rekt by this course dont take it Last edited: Sep. 29. 2016 Contact Information Phone: (333) 425-5253 Fax: (333) 888 - 3424 Email: iohn(at)universitv(dot)edu Office: Generic Hall. 415 M. N. Shamalavan Publications M. N. Shamalayan. "Combining Neural Networks With Natural Language Processine to Optimize the Hitler Problem." (ICSE-1998). M. N. Shamalayan. "Using Unguided Prim Trees to Solve the Matrix Mul- tiplication Problem" (ICSE-2000) M. N. Shamalavan. Using Large Dataset Combined with Support Vector Machine to Solve the Ice-Cream Optimization Problem. (ICSE-2002)

Content Arrays starting at 1 Missing semicolon jokes "Python is the best." "JavaScript sucks.' Dark theme Stackoverflow jokes rProgrammerHumor