CSS Is Everywhere

Behold! The MOST REALISTIC tech success story you'll ever see! 🙄 Just learn JavaScript, and BOOM—instant millionaire by 17! Swimming pools! Mansions! All from a $20 book and some if-else statements! Meanwhile, the rest of us are debugging the same error for 6 hours straight and celebrating when our CSS centers a div correctly. The audacity of these LinkedIn fairy tales is the true masterpiece of fiction—more creative than any code I've ever written! Next week: "How I became a trillionaire by copying Stack Overflow answers!"

Junior dev commits what looks like a security audit's worst nightmare directly to staging. We've got hardcoded API keys with "sk-proj" prefixes (looking at you, OpenAI), admin passwords literally set to "admin123", MongoDB connection strings with credentials in plain text, AWS secrets just vibing in variables, and a Stripe key that's probably already been scraped by seventeen bots. But wait, there's more! They're storing passwords in localStorage (chef's kiss for XSS attacks), setting global window credentials, fetching from a URL literally called "malicious-site.com", and my personal favorite - trying to parse "not valid json {{(" because why not test your error handling in production? The loop creating 10,000 arrays of 1,000 elements each is just the performance cherry on top of this security disaster sundae. Someone's about to learn why we have .env files, code reviews, and why the senior dev is now stress-eating in the corner.

The eternal scapegoat cycle of software development. Product owner writes requirements with the clarity of a fortune cookie, developers implement exactly what was asked for, and suddenly you're the villain when they realize their "revolutionary feature" makes zero sense. Then comes the plot twist: they admit THEY screwed up the requirements, but somehow you're still sitting in a 3-hour meeting explaining why the feature needs to be rebuilt. Because apparently implementing vague requirements perfectly is less impressive than reading minds. Pro tip: Start saving those Slack messages and email threads. When blame starts flying, receipts are your only defense in this corporate blame game.

The poor Visual Studio logo is literally covering this guy's face like "notice me please!" Meanwhile, VS Code has somehow become the cool kid that everyone flocks to without question. It's like showing up to a party with your reliable SUV when everyone else arrived in sports cars. Sure, Visual Studio can handle enterprise-level projects that would make VS Code cry for its mother, but who cares about actual horsepower when you can have pretty icons and a smaller install size? The classic developer paradox - we'll spend hours customizing themes but won't spend 5 minutes learning the tool that might actually be better for the job.

Content Just because I know Java I mean, I do. COY Doesn't mean I know JavaScript But not bcause I know Java

Content NullSurplus 20 points 1 hr I was explaining it to my friend earlier. Engineers. They only care about one thing: solving problems. If you give them an interesting enough problem, you can get them to commit incredible atrocities. I say this as an engineer that thankfully doesn't want to engineer "solutions" for awful things. But 1 do understand the drive, because even though I don't want to harm anyone, I absolutely understand the desire to solve abstract problems. It becomes an obsession where you invent nonsensical problems just to have something difficult to solve. This is the source of a great many terrible inventions. The inventors themselves were not hateful people with the goal of causing harm, they were merely driven to problem solve, regardless of the problem. This is a huge hurdle in society, because we live in a world where the psychopaths have bought off all the engineers to pay them to commit atrocities for them. Something0fAGirl (You know, I'm something of a girl myself) score hidden 30 min -"Can you help me make an Orphan Crushing Machine?' Me: "Fuck off" -"hem... My Orphan Crushing Machine is inefficient :(" Me: "Let me take a look :0" NullSurplus 2 points 17 min "Look at how awesome my Orphan Crushing Machine is!" "I see your problem. You're using 12 pound sledge hammers when you could be using anvils."