Junior developers Memes

Ah yes, the ancient art of physically forcing juniors to learn the holy trinity: Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V. Why waste time teaching them design patterns, algorithms, or clean code when you can just ensure they've got muscle memory for copy-paste? The thumbtacks are doing God's work here—making sure those fingers stay exactly where they belong. Forget about understanding the code, just make sure you can duplicate it efficiently. Senior devs everywhere are nodding in approval while pretending they don't do the exact same thing when Stack Overflow comes to the rescue at 3 AM.

When you're fresh out of bootcamp learning React and TypeScript, then someone casually mentions COBOL and you're like "what's that?" only to watch senior devs collectively lose their minds. For context: COBOL (Common Business-Oriented Language) was created in 1959 and is still running critical banking systems, insurance companies, and government infrastructure worldwide. We're talking billions of transactions daily on code older than your parents. The problem? Nobody wants to learn it, everyone who knows it is retiring, and banks are desperately clinging to these systems because rewriting them would be like performing open-heart surgery on a patient running a marathon. New programmers see it as ancient history that should be extinct. Banks see it as the immovable foundation of global finance that cannot be destroyed without triggering financial apocalypse. The cognitive dissonance is *chef's kiss*. Fun fact: There are an estimated 220 billion lines of COBOL still in production today. That's roughly 43% of all banking systems. Sleep tight! 💀

You know that guy who names his variables like "fireRocket" and "boomError" with matching emojis? Yeah, his code reads like a kindergarten art project but somehow it ships on time while your perfectly architected, SOLID-principled masterpiece is still in code review. The real pain hits when you're doing a pair programming session and they're throwing 🔥 and ✅ everywhere like they're decorating a Christmas tree, and you're sitting there wondering if your CS degree was worth it. But hey, at least when production breaks, you'll know exactly which function caused it: explosionHandler💥() . The worst part? Their code probably has better documentation than yours because emojis are universal. Can't argue with that logic when the PM understands their codebase better than yours.

Job postings be like "Entry-level position, must have 500 years of experience." The hierarchy is perfect: demon lord with 500 years? Barely qualified. Wizard with 1000 years? Now we're talking. Fresh graduate who just learned to code? Straight to the unemployment pit with the other rejected souls. The real kicker is that AI logo casually sitting there, because apparently even immortal beings can't compete with ChatGPT's ability to hallucinate code at lightning speed. Companies would rather hire a statistical parrot than someone who "only" has a millennium of hands-on experience. The tech job market has officially transcended reality—you need to be older than COBOL itself just to get past the ATS screening.

The code comment redundancy epidemic has reached street signs! Just like that sign helpfully pointing out "THIS IS A STOP SIGN" under an actual stop sign, junior devs have a special talent for writing comments that state the painfully obvious: // This function adds two numbers function add(a, b) {   return a + b; // Returns the sum } Senior devs scrolling through that code base are experiencing physical pain right now. Remember folks: good comments explain why , not what . Unless you're documenting an API, in which case... carry on with your obvious statements!

The interrogation room just got a new tech twist. That moment when your tech lead discovers you've been hiding junior developers who write aesthetic code that doesn't actually work. Sure, the indentation is perfect and the variable names are poetic, but the application crashes if a user breathes too hard. Your defense? "But look how clean the console logs are!"