blockchain Memes

This Bad Boy Can Generate So Much Technical Debt
Programming Devops Debugging Backend
15 hours ago 68.6K views 0 shares
This Bad Boy Can Generate So Much Technical Debt
HONEY, GRAB THE CHECKBOOK! This absolute MONSTER of a legacy code generator is being sold to us by a man in a suit! *dramatically faints* The car salesman is literally SLAPPING THE ROOF and promising us 50+ lines of legacy code PER SECOND! Do you know what that means?! That's approximately 4.3 MILLION lines of technical debt PER DAY! The maintenance nightmare of my DREAMS! 💸💸💸 And look at those logos - it's a blockchain-ethereum-something developer tool that will absolutely ruin our codebase faster than you can say "we should refactor this someday." SOLD!

I'd Rather Work On Something That Contributes Positively To Society, Thanks
Programming
10 days ago 75.3K views 0 shares
I'd Rather Work On Something That Contributes Positively To Society, Thanks
Ah, the classic bait and switch of tech recruiting. That initial excitement when you hear "competitive salary and work-life balance" quickly evaporates when you realize it's for yet another blockchain startup trying to revolutionize digital pet ownership or whatever. After 15 years in this industry, I've developed a Pavlovian response to the word "blockchain" - it's basically shorthand for "we're burning VC money on a solution desperately searching for a problem." But hey, at least you'll get free kombucha and a foosball table while the funding lasts!

Programmers' Gambling Addiction
Hardware Security Algorithms Math Programming
15 days ago 84.4K views 0 shares
Programmers' Gambling Addiction
Oh. My. GAWD. This is Bitcoin mining in its purest form—the world's most RIDICULOUS lottery! Imagine being asked to guess a number between 1 and 10^22 (that's a 1 with TWENTY-TWO zeros after it, sweetie). The odds are so astronomically against you that you'd have better chances of finding a bug-free code on the first try! 💅 What makes this ABSOLUTELY HYSTERICAL is that this is literally how mining works! Your fancy mining rigs are just glorified random number guessers, burning enough electricity to power a small country while playing the world's worst guessing game. And for what? The CHANCE to win 3.125 BTC and validation from the blockchain gods! The "Sounds good" guy with his mining farm is all of us thinking we're going to strike it rich with our pathetic hash rates. Honey, you'd have better luck teaching JavaScript to a goldfish!

The One Ring Of Tech Buzzwords
AI Devops Programming
15 days ago 80.1K views 0 shares
The One Ring Of Tech Buzzwords
The eternal battle between sales and engineering continues! Sales execs looking at new projects like they're discovering the One Ring to rule them all – "Let's sprinkle some blockchain and AI on it!" Meanwhile, developers are channeling their inner Aragorn with a firm "NO" that contains the exhaustion of a thousand pointless standups. It's the corporate version of "We have blockchain at home. The blockchain at home: an Excel spreadsheet with a password." The irony? Most projects that "need" blockchain and AI could be solved with a decent database and some if/else statements.

Software Engineer (Real Job)
Programming
16 days ago 69.8K views 0 shares
Software Engineer (Real Job)
Ah, the corporate jargon olympics! The more words it takes to explain what you do, the more likely you're part of the tech industry's elaborate charade. First guy: "I'm a SaaS-based fintech sales analyst" = I cold call people trying to sell spreadsheets. Second one: "I develop & maintain automated capabilities" = I wrote one Python script that sends emails. Third contestant: "I create systems to record blockchain data" = I made a fancy Excel sheet nobody uses. Meanwhile, the only honest soul in tech: "I catch fish." Straight to the point, tangible results, no buzzwords required. The beard and pipe are just bonus authenticity points. The brutal truth: if your job title needs a paragraph of explanation and three rounds of buzzword bingo, you might be compensating for something!

The Three Stages Of Developer Support Hell
Programming Security StackOverflow Linux
22 days ago 78.1K views 0 shares
The Three Stages Of Developer Support Hell
The evolution of asking for coding help in three stages: 1. Programming communities : "Have you tried Googling it?" *downvotes your question for being a duplicate from 2013* 2. Linux community : "I see you're struggling. Here's a 47-page manual and a cryptic one-liner that will either fix everything or format your hard drive. Figure out which!" 3. Web3 communities : "Hey fren! I can totally help! Just connect your wallet to this definitely-not-suspicious smart contract I made at 3am!"

The Facts
Python Cloud
3 months ago 66.0K views 0 shares
theFacts | developer-memes, code-memes, computing-memes, machine learning-memes, server-memes, loc-memes, machine-memes, lock-memes, data-memes, database-memes, if statement-memes, blockchain-memes, internet-memes, servers-memes, cloud-memes, mac-memes, artificial intelligence-memes, big data-memes, cs-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content Matt Watson 2nd 4x Founder, CTOCEO, Podcaster, Follow View my blog 4d "No code" is someone else's code. "Cloud" is someone else's servers. "Machine Learning" is just statistics on steroids. "Artificial Intelligence is a collection of IF statements written on a massive scale. "Blockchain" is a highly inefficient database, secured by collective distrust. "Big Data" is a lot of data that nobody knows what to do with. "Smart Home" is where your fridge knows more about your diet than you do. "Virtual Reality" is a fancy way to ignore the actual reality. "Quantum Computing" is a kind of computing that not even its developers fully understand. "Internet of Things" is making sure even your toaster is hackable.

The Facts
Python Cloud
3 months ago 66.6K views 0 shares
theFacts | developer-memes, code-memes, computing-memes, machine learning-memes, server-memes, loc-memes, machine-memes, lock-memes, data-memes, database-memes, if statement-memes, blockchain-memes, internet-memes, servers-memes, cloud-memes, mac-memes, artificial intelligence-memes, big data-memes, cs-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content Matt Watson 2nd 4x Founder, CTOCEO, Podcaster, ... Follow View my blog 4d "No code" is someone else's code. "Cloud" is someone else's servers. "Machine Learning" is just statistics on steroids. "Artificial Intelligence" is a collection of IF statements written on a massive scale. "Blockchain" is a highly inefficient database, secured by collective distrust. "Big Data" is a lot of data that nobody knows what to do with. "Smart Home" is where your fridge knows more about your diet than you do. "Virtual Reality" is a fancy way to ignore the actual reality. "Quantum Computing" is a kind of computing that not even its developers fully understand. "Internet of Things" is making sure even your toaster is hackable.

Blockchain use cases
Programming
6 months ago 16.5K views 0 shares
Blockchain use cases | loc-memes, lock-memes, blockchain-memes, crypto-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content Should you use blockchain Are you making a cryptocurrency? Yes Please Stop No No

Debate Me On This
Programming
6 months ago 16.9K views 0 shares
debateMeOnThis | programmer-memes, program-memes, loc-memes, lock-memes, blockchain-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content programmers when I ask them what are the actual uses of the blockchain?

Why Ask Your Experienced Devs When You Can Call Ibm
Cloud
7 months ago 19.9K views 0 shares
whyAskYourExperiencedDevsWhenYouCanCallIBM | loc-memes, lock-memes, devs-memes, blockchain-memes, ibm-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content GEO THINKING AROUT "AGILE MOBILE AI BLOCKCHAIN" I SHOULD CALL IBM

When your non computer savvy boss talks to you about coding.
Python Frontend
7 months ago 24.5K views 0 shares
When your non computer savvy boss talks to you about coding. | coding-memes, html-memes, computer-memes, engineer-memes, loc-memes, lock-memes, blockchain-memes, bitcoin-memes, IT-memes, ML-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content DILBERT IM NOT AN ENGINEER, SO THIS MIGHT BE A DUMB QUESTION DILBERT COM SCOTTADAMSSAYS BUT WHY CANT WE 3-D PRINT A BLOCKCHAIN AND HTML IT INTO A BITCOIN? 4-20-18 02018 Beott Maan, Tac.slat, by kadrons ticke ALICE CAN ANSWER THAT. I QUIT.