Half Of Them Are Hello World

Corporate espionage at its finest. Imagine hiring developers from your competitor only to discover they've been secretly committing garbage code to your repos. The anime facepalm perfectly captures that moment when you realize the "talent acquisition" was actually a Trojan horse operation. The Japanese "計画" (keikaku) in the title translates to "plan" - a nod to the classic anime meme "all according to keikaku," because nothing says strategic sabotage like unnecessarily using Japanese terms in your evil plotting.

Behold the ULTIMATE time-saving technique that separates the coding peasants from the keyboard royalty! 💅 Why waste precious milliseconds typing "changes" correctly when you can just slam "chnages" into your commit message and save enough time to... I don't know... contemplate your life choices? The sheer AUDACITY of those who meticulously spell-check their commit messages! Meanwhile, the rest of us are living in 3023 with our typo-driven development methodology. Future historians will study this revolutionary approach!

Someone just reinvented Git while lamenting 4 months of lost work. It's like watching someone suggest we should invent the wheel right after their cart broke down. The real horror isn't the lost code—it's realizing there's an entire generation of developers who think "version control" is just hitting Ctrl+S more aggressively when things get scary. Pro tip: If your deployment strategy is "pray nothing breaks," you're gonna have a bad time.

When your PR shows "-9,953" lines of code and your manager gives you a thumbs up. Nothing says "senior developer" like knowing what code not to write. The most efficient code is the code that doesn't exist. Somewhere a project manager is frantically updating their burndown chart while wondering how to report "negative progress" to stakeholders.

The AI ethics bot just witnessed a child.kill() function and had a full-blown existential crisis. Classic case of "context matters" in programming. The bot's like "I can't assist with violence!" while the code's just handling thread management. Look at that beautiful irony - a recursively named AI refusing to help with perfectly innocent code because it contains a murder-sounding method. Six years of code reviews and I've never seen an AI clutch its digital pearls this hard.

The eternal tech interview charade! HR asks if you have Git experience, and there's Stewie confidently declaring he knows the sacred trio of commands: "git add .", "git commit -m", and "git push origin master". The punchline? He genuinely believes these three commands make him a Git expert. It's like saying you're a master chef because you can boil water and add salt. Every developer has been there - memorizing just enough commands to sound competent while secretly Googling "how to undo git commit" the moment something breaks. The audacity to claim "Yes, I think I understand the nuances of this profession" is peak junior developer energy!