IT Department Prior To The Holiday Break

The judgmental stare of an impala when your code looks like a teenager's diary. That moment when you submit a PR with more emojis than actual logic, and the reviewer's soul visibly leaves their body. The code might run, but at what cost to human dignity? Nothing says "I definitely wrote this myself and didn't use AI" like commenting every line with a different animal emoji and explaining obvious functions with "this makes the thing do the thing." The reviewer isn't mad, just disappointed... and questioning their career choices.

Nothing strikes fear into a developer's heart quite like asking colleagues to review code. The bear in this meme represents that senior dev who's been "too busy" to look at your PR for two weeks straight. The title "LGTM" (Looks Good To Me) is the holy grail response we all want but rarely get without 47 nitpicky comments about your variable naming conventions. The survival strategy works both in forests and open office plans - just ask someone who wants to avoid you to do something for you, and watch them magically disappear faster than documentation during a deadline crunch.

Oh. My. GOD! The ultimate medical chart of our times! 💀 You know someone's having a full-on developer STROKE when they start babbling about "shipping to production 3-4 times faster with AI." Honey, the only thing moving faster is your career toward the unemployment line! That's not AI-powered deployment—that's a DELUSION in progress! The real "twisted mouth" is trying to explain to your boss why everything is on fire after your magical AI-powered push. But sure, keep telling yourself those hallucinations are "efficiency gains" while the rest of us prepare the incident report! 🚑

When your startup runs out of actual job titles but still needs to attract talent in this economy. Nothing says "we're totally not going to crash and burn in 6 months" like calling everyone a "Vibe Something." Next up: "Vibe Investor Relations" for when you need to explain why the money's gone. The best part? Someone actually took the time to write this into production code. Probably the "Vibe Code Reviewer" was too busy maintaining the office kombucha tap.

Ah, the mythical linear scaling of development teams! The PM hears "one dev = one month" and brilliantly concludes "ten devs = three days!" Because clearly, software development works exactly like assembling furniture—just throw more people at it! What the PM doesn't realize is that those 10 devs will spend 2.9 days in meetings discussing how to split the work, setting up version control, and explaining to each other why their approach is superior. The remaining 0.1 days is actual coding. Brooks' Law sends its regards from 1975. Spoiler alert: adding more developers to a late project makes it later.

That network switch has clearly been running flawlessly since the Clinton administration. Covered in dust, cobwebs, and what appears to be ancient plaster, it's the digital equivalent of that one load-bearing piece of code written by someone who left the company 8 years ago. Touch it? Might as well pull the pin on a grenade while you're at it. This is why network engineers develop that thousand-yard stare by year five.