Finally Some Recognition For Hard Work

Ah yes, the presidential decree of bad programming practices. Nothing says "Make Software Great Again" like starting arrays at 1 (a crime in most programming languages), using only global variables (the radioactive waste of code), and deploying untested code straight to production on a Friday (the ultimate "I hate my weekend" power move). It's basically an executive order to create job security through chaos. Ten years of debugging later, you'll still be finding remnants of this administration in your codebase.

The five stages of network troubleshooting, as told by ancient wisdom: 1. Denial: "It's not DNS" 2. Anger: "There's no way it's DNS" 3. Bargaining: *frantically checking firewall rules* 4. Depression: *silent contemplation while staring at wireshark* 5. Acceptance: "It was DNS" The universal truth every sysadmin discovers after wasting 6 hours of their life. DNS - secretly stands for "Did Not Solve" until you finally check it.

Finally found where AWS keeps all my data! Turns out "cloud storage" is just cotton balls on shelves. No wonder my S3 costs keep piling up - they're buying premium cotton. Bet they charge extra for the "fluffy tier" too. Next time sales promises "elastic cloud scaling," I'm just going to point to this closet and ask which shelf they plan to use.

The pinnacle of StackOverflow irony: your Docker localhost question is flagged as a duplicate of a post that's been closed for not being about programming, which has 5x more upvotes than the "correct" question. Meanwhile, both questions are closed for completely contradictory reasons. It's like trying to exit Vim - no matter what you do, you're trapped in an endless cycle of "closed," "duplicate," and "not about programming" while desperately trying to figure out why your container can't see localhost. The cherry on top? The 2.8 million views suggest thousands of developers have the exact same "not programming related" problem.

The universal debugging technique that shouldn't work but somehow does. When your code throws errors, make zero changes, hit run again, and suddenly it works flawlessly. The digital equivalent of blowing into a Nintendo cartridge. Computer science degrees cost $100k to teach you that sometimes the machine just needs a moment to think about what it did wrong.

When you spend 6 hours debugging why your container won't start, only to realize you forgot a single hyphen in your docker-compose.yml file. Then you spend another 3 hours dealing with volume permissions. Then your image size balloons to 4GB because you accidentally included node_modules. Then Docker Desktop eats 8GB of RAM just sitting there. Then you get the dreaded "no space left on device" error and have to prune everything like you're Marie Kondo-ing your entire digital life. But hey, at least "it works on my machine" is no longer an excuse, right? RIGHT?! The relationship between developers and Docker is truly a love story for the ages – except it's all hate and we're all trapped in this containerized nightmare together. 🙃