The Audacity Of Documentation To Be Useful

The infinite chain of nested "else if" statements screaming into the void. Classic example of what happens when you're too stubborn to use switch statements or proper pattern matching. That codebase is one code review away from someone having an existential crisis. The final "if" just sitting there, blissfully unaware it's the root cause of a future 3 AM debugging session.

Content PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT HAS ALMOST NO STANDARD LIBRARY SOLUTION: THOUSANDS OF COMMUNITY -SUPPORTED LIBRARIES OF WILDLY VARYING QUALITY PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT HAS NO PACKAGING OR A LINKER TO TIE THESE PACKAGES TOGETHER PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT WON'T RUN OUTSIDE THE BROWSER SOLUTION: V8 PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT IS SINGLE -THREAD BY DESIGN SOLUTION: ASYNCHRONOUS PROGRAMMING, NODE. JS PROBLEM: CALLBACK HELL PROBLEM: PROTOTYPAL INHERITANCE IS PANTS -ON- HEAD STUPID THAT'S RIGHT, I SAID IT. PROBLEM: WEB RESOURCES NEED TO BE MINIFIED AND ZIPPED FOR PERFORMANCE PROBLEM: THE DOM IS TOO SLOW FOR VIDEO GAMES SOLUTION: CANVAS PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT IS TOO SLOW FOR VIDEO GAMES SOLUTION: USE AN ASSEMBLY- LIKE SUBSET OF JAVASCRIPT CALLED ASM.JS PROBLEM: ASM.JS IS BASICALLY UNWRITABLE 4 HUMANS. SOLUTION: COMPILE A BETTER LANGUAGE TO JAVASCRIPT (C, EMASCRIPT 2016, COFFEESCRIPT, JSX) SOLUTION: HUNDREDS OF COMMUNITY SUPPORTED BUILD TOOLS OF WILDLY VARYING QUALITY PROBLEM: GRUNT. SOLUTION: GULP PROBLEM: GULP PROBLEM: MACHINE GENERATED OUTPUT IS MORE DIFFICULT TO DEBUG PROBLEM: ASYNC IS STILL A NIGHTMARE, HUH? PROBLEM: BALLOONING PROJECT SIZE AND COMPLEXITY PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT STILL DOESN'T DO EVERYTHING PROBLEM: OUTPUT RUNS VERY SLOWLY ON MOBILE DEVICES SOLUTION: ELECTRON, PHONEGAP, FIREFOXOS HOW IS DIGGING GOING TO GET US OUT OF THIS HOLE? WHERE I AM FROM, THE POINT OF DIGGING IS NOT FREEDOM FROM DIGGING

The corporate ladder speedrun: destroy a perfectly functioning system, make it objectively worse, get promoted, then bail before the dumpster fire you created becomes your problem. Peak software engineering right here. Dude took a Java service that ran flawlessly for 5 years and convinced management it needed a complete rewrite in Go with microservices because "modernization." The result? Slower performance, double the costs, and a memory leak that strikes at 2 AM like clockwork. But hey, that 20-page design doc had enough buzzwords to secure the L6 promotion. The best part? After getting the promo, they immediately transferred to a "chill Core Infra team" where they won't be on call for the disaster they created. Some poor new grad is now inheriting a $550k total comp nightmare. That's not upward mobility—that's a tactical extraction after carpet bombing production. Pro tip: If your promotion depends on creating "scope" and "complexity" instead of solving actual problems, you're not engineering—you're just resume-driven development with extra steps.

Oh. My. GOD. The FANTASY of a bug-free existence! 😭 Imagine sleeping peacefully in a field instead of staying up until 4AM frantically Googling "why is my code possessed by demons?" The sheer AUDACITY of this meme suggesting we could actually REST if our code worked the first time! Sweetie, I haven't known peace since I wrote my first "Hello World" program. My relationship status? "It's complicated" with Stack Overflow and "desperately dependent" on console.log(). In this alternate universe without bugs, I'd probably remember what sunlight feels like instead of the harsh blue glow of my IDE highlighting 47 syntax errors!

Content Build Docs 6889 6890 6891 6892 6893 6894 6895 6896 6897 6898 SISPE Files Bytes Times Total Copied 411 411 1750 1750 22.31 m 22.31 m 0:00:03 0:00:00 Skipped Mismatch FAILED 0:00:00 0:00:00 Speed Speed 39938493 Bytessec. 2285.298 MegaBytesmin. Ended: Tuesday, March 8, 2022 8:45:13 AM 6900 6901 6902 Error: Process completed with exit code Found this after wasting hours scrolling through the logs for errors: Value Description No files were copied. No failure was met. No files were mismatched. The files already exi in tne destination directory: so the copy operation was skipped All files were copied successfully. There are some additional files in the destination directory that aren't present in the sou directory. No files were copied Some files were copied. Additional files were present. No failure was met. Some files were copied. Some files were mismatched. No failure was met. 8 Additional tiles and mismatched files exist. No files were copied and no failures were me Which means that the files already exist in the destination directory. Files were copied, a file mismatch was present, and additional files were present. Several files didn't copy.

Content There's a thing called "Rubber duck debugging" in which a programmer explains the code to a rubber duck in hopes of finding the bug