Yet Another Reason To Hate On The Worst Db In Existence

That moment when your stomach drops through the floor because you just ran DELETE * FROM users without a WHERE clause... on production. No rollback. No backup from the last hour. Just the cold realization that you've nuked actual customer data and your resume is about to get updated. The five stages of database grief hit all at once: denial, anger, bargaining with the database gods, depression, and finally acceptance that you're absolutely screwed. Pro tip: This is why we have staging environments and why BEGIN TRANSACTION exists. Too bad we never use them when we should.

Content Function Purist (must contain digital data) Function Neutral (must contain information) Function Radical (can contain anything) Database Alignment Chart Access Purist (must be queryable with a query language) Access Neutral (must be queryable with a language) Access Radical (queryable in any way) X Excel is a database PostgresSOL is a database 670 Dwarf Fortress is a database senora Libror Centi A library is a database A senior engineer is a database A file cabinet is a database A fridge is a database Battleship is a database Subway checkout counter is a database

So you're reading a textbook about databases, minding your own business, trying to understand what a row is, when BAM—Clippy's evil cousin materializes on the page like some kind of cursed popup ad! The book literally has a red-bordered callout saying "If you want, I can also explain columns, primary keys, or other DBMS terms. Here is a clear and simple explanation of a Column in DBMS" as if it's about to mansplain databases to you IN PHYSICAL FORM. The digital world's most annoying feature—unsolicited help dialogs—has somehow infected printed paper. It's giving major "It looks like you're trying to learn databases, would you like help with that?" energy. Next thing you know, your coffee mug will be asking if you'd like a tutorial on liquid consumption. Nothing is sacred anymore!

Content (g) programmerhumour S'abonner We need to design the cover for our programming book The name of the language Add a random animal They are always like this. nonbinaryjew S'abonner ELOQUENT lAVASCRIPT Python Think Java EFFECTIVE C a patho Intro to Python firm Vis modern implomontation in C The Swift Programming Lanquage Swift 5 Edition ABSOLUTE C4 OKLILLY PHP Programming MySQL PHP the missina manua perl corpse-decay S'abonner why couldn't they even get a picture of a python for the python book i fucking hate this and i hate programming fuck all you nerds 00 11309 notes

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