Yet Another Reason To Hate On The Worst Db In Existence

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The programming world is split into two camps: the cool, composed "day-tuh" people who walk with confidence, and the chaotic "dah-tuh" people who run through hallways like they just discovered a race condition in production. There's no middle ground here. You either pronounce it like you're presenting at a tech conference, or you say it like you're frantically explaining a database outage to your manager at 3 AM. Both camps are equally convinced they're right. Both camps will die on this hill. Neither will ever change. It's the tabs vs spaces debate but somehow even more pointless, which is saying something.

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The doctor asked a simple question. The patient gave a response that would make any database administrator reach for the defibrillator. Using Excel as a database is the tech equivalent of performing surgery with a butter knife. Sure, it might work for small cuts, but once you hit an artery (or 10,000+ rows), you're just watching a slow death unfold. The real tragedy? Somewhere right now, a Fortune 500 company is running on a critical Excel spreadsheet that only Dave from accounting knows how to update. And Dave is on vacation.

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