Cache All Things

Content Reddit 3 days ago Senior Internal Solutions Engineer Permanent Python Go React Redux Postgresal Database Experience level: Junior Our mission is to bring community and belonging to everyone in the world. Reddit is a community of communities where people can dive into anythin... ProdrammerHumor.io

OH MY GOD, the absolute HORROR of explaining your coding job to grandma only for her to send you a "Happy Data Leak Day!" card with ROSES the next day! 💀 Nothing says "I completely misunderstood what you do" like celebrating the ONE THING that keeps security engineers awake at night! Grandma somehow transformed "I work with databases" into "I deliberately expose sensitive information for funsies" and now she's CONGRATULATING you on it with a business cat and confetti! The professional NIGHTMARE is complete! Your entire career reduced to "that thing where you spill information everywhere" - thanks Nana! 🙃

Ah yes, the classic "let me check if your credit card is compromised by... *checks notes*... asking you to enter all your credit card details." The irony is thicker than legacy code documentation. This scam software brilliantly solves the problem of "is my credit card in a hacker's database?" by ensuring it definitely will be after you use it. Congratulations, your card wasn't in any hacker database until you voluntarily uploaded it to one. It's like asking a fox to guard your henhouse and then being surprised when chicken is on the menu.

Content Lil Dixie Normous Credit Card Security Is your credit card number in a hacker's database? You can easily find out now! All you need to do is enter its information here and we will scan thousands of hacker databases to see if any they have match yours. Credit Card Number: Expiration Date: Your Zip Code: SCAN DATABASE Let Dixie Normous Credit Card Security Scanning databases... Now scanning database 1343 of 3728... 0 matches found Success Your card number did not show up in any of the hacker's databases! OK

The evolutionary tale of a data scientist! First, we see Statistics (elephant) and Computer Science (snake) as separate entities. Then they decide to collaborate—because obviously, elephants and snakes make natural coding partners. The snake begs for statistical knowledge, and suddenly—BOOM—they transform into a dinosaur labeled "DATA SCIENTIST." It's the perfect representation of how merging statistics with programming creates this mythical creature that everyone wants to hire but nobody can quite define. The irony? Real data scientists spend 80% of their time cleaning data, not evolving into majestic dinosaurs. Should've shown the final form as a janitor with a SQL mop.

Content Me: About to run an update query on PROD database My brain: "You don't need a backup. it's just a simple change!" Me: SHUT UP