Why Do NoSQL Devs Eat Lunch Alone?

Content Hashing and salting password with BCRYPT Hashing passwords with MD5 and no salt Plaintext password in database Check login S('login") .submit(function (e) e.preventDefault(); if ( ('username).val() 'admin' S('pw').val() "SecretPN1234 ) window.location "admin": else alert('Wrong password"); Passwords

When a site tells you "your new password can't be the same as your old password," they're supposed to be comparing hashed values, not storing your actual password in plaintext. If they know what your old password was , they've already failed Security 101. The fact that a Fortune 500 company did this is like finding out your bank keeps everyone's money in a shoebox under the receptionist's desk. Ten years in tech and I'm still amazed at how many multi-billion dollar companies can't figure out basic password security.

This is a masterclass in legacy systems biting back! The tweet explains how Social Security runs on COBOL (a programming language from the 1950s) where dates are stored using the ISO 8601 standard with an epoch starting 150 years ago (1875). So when a date is unknown, it defaults to zero, which COBOL interprets as 1875. The humor comes from Donald Trump Jr. misinterpreting Elon Musk's comment about this technical quirk as evidence of "150-year-old people collecting Social Security" – when it's actually just a database returning default epoch values! It's the perfect intersection of ancient programming languages, government systems that never get updated, and non-technical people drawing wild conclusions. Mainframe programmers are cackling while pouring another cup of coffee right now.

Content Me every time I need to use a regex so I copy it from a conveniently specific StackOverflow post like your funny words magic man

The corporate world wants us to believe JSON and NoSQL databases are different technologies, but developers know better. It's like asking what's the difference between a filing cabinet and... a filing cabinet. Both store unstructured data in key-value pairs, both make schema changes trivial, and both make database purists cry themselves to sleep at night. MongoDB is basically just JSON with extra steps and a marketing team. Next they'll tell us arrays and lists are completely different concepts!

The eternal database holy war visualized as three dragons. "SQL" (pronounced like "sequel") is the menacing one, "SEQUEL" (the actual word) is the terrifying one, and "SQUEAL" (like a pig sound) is the derpy one with its tongue out. After 15 years in the industry, I've stopped correcting people. Say it however you want - the database will still ignore your perfectly crafted query and throw a syntax error anyway.