nosql Memes

When Worlds Collide: JSON In SQL Database
Databases Webdev Javascript Programming Backend
1 day ago 65.5K views 0 shares
When Worlds Collide: JSON In SQL Database
Ah yes, the elegant solution of cramming a jumbo jet into a cargo plane—just like trying to shove your beautiful, flexible JSON data into the rigid, tabular prison of SQL. Database architects be like: "It technically fits if we disassemble the wings, normalize the engines into separate tables, and pretend those nested objects don't exist!" Meanwhile, NoSQL developers are watching this disaster unfold while sipping tea.

Web Scale: The Only Legacy That Matters
Databases Webdev Devops Programming Backend
16 days ago 97.2K views 0 shares
Web Scale: The Only Legacy That Matters
MongoDB's marketing team really nailed their priorities here. Forget trivial things like your compensation, burnout, or work-life balance - the only legacy that matters is knowing their database is "web scale." For the uninitiated, "web scale" became a tech buzzword after a famous parody video where a MongoDB enthusiast repeatedly screams "it's web scale!" while a MySQL user questions what that actually means. The phrase became shorthand for "sounds impressive but possibly meaningless tech jargon." Nothing says "I've made it in tech" quite like remembering marketing slogans instead of your actual life experiences. Your therapist would have a field day with this one.

I See No Difference
Databases Webdev Javascript Programming Backend
23 days ago 116.4K views 0 shares
I See No Difference
The corporate world wants us to believe JSON and NoSQL databases are different technologies, but developers know better. It's like asking what's the difference between a filing cabinet and... a filing cabinet. Both store unstructured data in key-value pairs, both make schema changes trivial, and both make database purists cry themselves to sleep at night. MongoDB is basically just JSON with extra steps and a marketing team. Next they'll tell us arrays and lists are completely different concepts!

The Two Types You Actually Need
Databases Programming Backend
25 days ago 98.6K views 1 shares
The Two Types You Actually Need
Who needs 50 different data types when you can just slap everything into a JSONB column and call it a day? This is basically PostgreSQL developers discovering MongoDB's entire business model. The tweet shows the ultimate database hack: create a table with just an ID and a JSONB field that's essentially a shapeless blob of whatever garbage you want to throw in there. Schema? We don't know her. Data integrity? Never met her. It's the database equivalent of shoving everything under your bed when your mom tells you to clean your room. And the best part? This is exactly what MongoDB has been selling as a "feature" all along. Turns out you can have NoSQL chaos in your SQL database too!

MongoDB First Draft
Databases Programming Backend
28 days ago 100.7K views 0 shares
MongoDB First Draft
Ah, the evolution of databases in one SQL statement. This dev is basically saying "forget all those fancy PostgreSQL data types – just give me an ID and a JSON blob and I'll figure out the rest." It's the database equivalent of saying "I don't need a fancy toolbox, just give me duct tape and WD-40." What's hilarious is this is literally how MongoDB was born – "schemas are too restrictive, just throw everything in a document!" Now we've come full circle with PostgreSQL's JSONB type, letting relational database purists secretly use NoSQL patterns while still feeling superior. It's like wearing a MongoDB t-shirt under your Oracle business suit.

Just Got Accepted Into Mc Faang
Python Linux Debugging Databases Backend
1 month ago 183.5K views 0 shares
justGotAcceptedIntoMcFAANG | engineer-memes, engineering-memes, debugging-memes, bug-memes, machine-memes, data-memes, sql-memes, database-memes, list-memes, algorithm-memes, debug-memes, algorithms-memes, cli-memes, mac-memes, pip-memes, nosql-memes, pipeline-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content After thousands of applications, I just accepted an offer from a McFAANG company! Shitpost Don't want to specify which one, but I'm super excited to finally be working at a top tier McFAANG company! I will be in a Forward Deployed Food Engineering Specialist role! Some of my job responsibilities include: Building ETL pipelines to extract frozen patties from the FREEZER database and transforming them into ready made burgers Deriving insights and analysis on client orders from the cash register Managing real-time NoSQL (No Salt Queue Layer) deployments for french fry processing Maintaining high-throughput IO operations at drive-through queuing interface while ensuring sub-60-second response times Implementing mission-critical data cleaning protocols using proprietary mop-based algorithms Debugging ice cream machines I'm extremely excited to receive a base TC of over 280k (per decade) for my first job out of college! If anyone wants some tips or tricks, feel free to ask

The Current Job Market
Javascript Typescript AWS Python Java
2 months ago 279.4K views 0 shares
theCurrentJobMarket | html-memes, css-memes, javascript-memes, software-memes, java-memes, linux-memes, engineer-memes, software engineer-memes, ux-memes, aws-memes, try-memes, node-memes, nodejs-memes, security-memes, sql-memes, angular-memes, spring-memes, mongodb-memes, typescript-memes, bash-memes, docker-memes, selenium-memes, maven-memes, jenkins-memes, mongo-memes, springboot-memes, c#-memes, gcp-memes, ide-memes, ML-memes, terraform-memes, nosql-memes, ci/cd-memes, kubernetes-memes, cs-memes, graph-memes, graphql-memes, tcp-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
[text] 2020 Company We hope you have a pulse because were about to pay you 100k and teach you everything you need to know Me Yay Im a software engineer 2024 Company You must know SQL Java Kubernetes Docker AWS Terraform Jenkins CICD C ServiceNow NoSQL GraphQL Typescript Spring SpringBoot Selenium Maven JUnit Javascript Jest NodeJS MongoDB Angular HTML CSS TCP IP Linux Virtualization TLS GCP Bash have active security clearance masters degree CS or related field and mi um 10 years of experience. Please provide cover letter academic transcript and 3 professional references. Posted now. Entry level role 22.50hr. 800 applications job expired. made with mematic

Great Time To Be Anew Grad
Programming Linux Testing Databases Frontend
4 months ago 69.6K views 0 shares
greatTimeToBeANewGrad | programming-memes, software-memes, development-memes, web-memes, engineer-memes, design-memes, software engineer-memes, program-memes, try-memes, test-memes, threading-memes, sql-memes, excel-memes, rest-memes, web services-memes, asynchronous-memes, mongo-memes, edge-memes, bot-memes, nosql-memes, language-memes, vm-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content Software Engineer Victoria's Secret Co. - Bengaluru, Karnataka, India (On-site) Reposted 2 weeks ago 1,297 applicants Full-time - Entry level Qualifications: 4 year degree in Information Systems or an equivalent combination of course work and job experience Flexibility is a must to support our customers 247365, where extended hours may be necessary At a minimum the below experience: 3 years of Experience multiple JVM based languages 1 year experience in Golang Successful track record in solution development and delivery Excellent software design and system architecture skills. Strong background with multi-threading, event-based software architecture Strong background in distributed systems. Strong background in asynchronous patterns and multithreaded programming. Experience developing REST based web services Good knowledge of NoSQL db's like Mongo and Couch Knowledge and experience on microservice architecture Strong knowledge of Agile development methodology, Test Driven Development, Continuous Integration, and Test Automation Outstanding communication skills, both oral and written

No Sqldband Its Just Excel
Databases Backend
6 months ago 20.4K views 0 shares
noSQLDBandItsJustExcel | sql-memes, excel-memes, csv-memes, idea-memes, ide-memes, nosql-memes, cs-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content Wanda, I wish I had spider-man powers Noooooo, Timmy, that's dangerous, you could put at risks all of humanity Cosmo, I wish to corrupt every single excel and CSV file that exists LOL, Great idea, Timmy, let's see what happens

Study Computer Science They Said It Is Easy To Find Ajob They Said
Linux Testing Databases Frontend Backend
7 months ago 40.2K views 0 shares
studyComputerScienceTheySaidItIsEasyToFindAJobTheySaid | computer-memes, tech-memes, management-memes, server-memes, data-memes, security-memes, sql-memes, sql server-memes, database-memes, mongodb-memes, oracle-memes, list-memes, function-memes, performance-memes, monitor-memes, cli-memes, mongo-memes, production-memes, IT-memes, edge-memes, query-memes, nosql-memes, tables-memes, product-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content DBA Specialist - SQL Server - Junior DBA Specialist - SQL Server Oracle Our client is looking for a DBA Specialist SQL Server to reinforce his team Mission Role - Responsible for the SQL Server databases - Optimise using SQL 2016 2019 in a fully redundant configuration - Monitor performances of Database Systems - Troubleshoot production performance and functional issues - Solid knowledge and experience in T-SQL, including query optimization, stored procedures - SQL Server Installation, Upgrades, Migrations and Configuration - working knowledge of database management (creating databases, users, tables, indexes, partitions) Technical skills - 5-6 vears experience in SQL Server administration - Very good skills in T-SQL - Very good skills in database optimization - Very good skills regarding IT security - Good knowledge on SSIS, SSAS and SSRS - Commodities or Financial Services background desirable - Advanced knowledge on Transact-SQL and scripting - Knowledge of another DB Engine including NoSQL (MongoDB

Its No Sql
Databases Backend
11 months ago 16.5K views 0 shares
itsNoSql | sql-memes, nosql-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content MySQL OurSQL

Geeks for geeks says being open source is a disadvantage…
Databases Backend
1 year ago 23.2K views 0 shares
Geeks for geeks says being open source is a disadvantage… | geek-memes, try-memes, data-memes, sql-memes, database-memes, mongodb-memes, scala-memes, mongo-memes, nosql-memes, open source-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content relauonal dalavast lavies. MongoDB falls in the category of NoSQL document-based database. Advantages of NoSQL - There are many advantages of working with NoSQL databases such as MongoDB and Cassandra. The main advantages are high scalability and high availability. Disadvantages of NoSQL - NoSQL has the following disadvantages. NoSQL is an open-source database. GUI is not available Backup is a weak point for some NoSQL databases like MongoDB. Large document size. These are but a few types of database structure which represent the fundamental concepts extensively used in the industry. However, as