mongodb Memes

Web Scale: The Only Legacy That Matters
Databases Webdev Devops Programming Backend
13 days ago 94.0K views 0 shares
Web Scale: The Only Legacy That Matters
MongoDB's marketing team really nailed their priorities here. Forget trivial things like your compensation, burnout, or work-life balance - the only legacy that matters is knowing their database is "web scale." For the uninitiated, "web scale" became a tech buzzword after a famous parody video where a MongoDB enthusiast repeatedly screams "it's web scale!" while a MySQL user questions what that actually means. The phrase became shorthand for "sounds impressive but possibly meaningless tech jargon." Nothing says "I've made it in tech" quite like remembering marketing slogans instead of your actual life experiences. Your therapist would have a field day with this one.

I See No Difference
Databases Webdev Javascript Programming Backend
20 days ago 112.8K views 0 shares
I See No Difference
The corporate world wants us to believe JSON and NoSQL databases are different technologies, but developers know better. It's like asking what's the difference between a filing cabinet and... a filing cabinet. Both store unstructured data in key-value pairs, both make schema changes trivial, and both make database purists cry themselves to sleep at night. MongoDB is basically just JSON with extra steps and a marketing team. Next they'll tell us arrays and lists are completely different concepts!

The Two Types You Actually Need
Databases Programming Backend
22 days ago 94.3K views 1 shares
The Two Types You Actually Need
Who needs 50 different data types when you can just slap everything into a JSONB column and call it a day? This is basically PostgreSQL developers discovering MongoDB's entire business model. The tweet shows the ultimate database hack: create a table with just an ID and a JSONB field that's essentially a shapeless blob of whatever garbage you want to throw in there. Schema? We don't know her. Data integrity? Never met her. It's the database equivalent of shoving everything under your bed when your mom tells you to clean your room. And the best part? This is exactly what MongoDB has been selling as a "feature" all along. Turns out you can have NoSQL chaos in your SQL database too!

MongoDB First Draft
Databases Programming Backend
25 days ago 96.9K views 0 shares
MongoDB First Draft
Ah, the evolution of databases in one SQL statement. This dev is basically saying "forget all those fancy PostgreSQL data types – just give me an ID and a JSON blob and I'll figure out the rest." It's the database equivalent of saying "I don't need a fancy toolbox, just give me duct tape and WD-40." What's hilarious is this is literally how MongoDB was born – "schemas are too restrictive, just throw everything in a document!" Now we've come full circle with PostgreSQL's JSONB type, letting relational database purists secretly use NoSQL patterns while still feeling superior. It's like wearing a MongoDB t-shirt under your Oracle business suit.

Master Password Leaked
Security AI Programming Databases Backend
1 month ago 125.1K views 1 shares
Master Password Leaked
Oh no, the classic "junior dev learns about security the hard way" moment! Nothing says "career-limiting move" quite like accidentally pasting database credentials into ChatGPT while asking for MongoDB help. That innocent "hehe" quickly turns to "not hehe" when you realize you've just handed over root access with the world's most predictable password (hunter2) to an AI that remembers everything . Security team's gonna love this one... right after they finish having simultaneous heart attacks.

Not Easyto Findthatmany People
Javascript AWS php Python Java
1 month ago 209.0K views 0 shares
notEasytoFindthatmanyPeople | developer-memes, php-memes, java-memes, python-memes, stack-memes, aws-memes, react-memes, git-memes, sql-memes, angular-memes, mongodb-memes, postgresql-memes, docker-memes, recruiters-memes, recruit-memes, mongo-memes, postgres-memes, IT-memes, redis-memes, mac-memes, kubernetes-memes, twitter-memes, retweet-memes, cs-memes, full stack-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
[text] F Mayank Joshi dermayank Dear recruiters if you are looking for Java Python PHP React Angular PostgreSQL Redis MongoDB AWS S3 EC2 ECS EKS nix system administration Git and Cl with TDD Docker Kubernetes Thats not a Full Stack Developer Thats an entire IT department 352 PM 29 Jun 21 Twitter for Mac 1403 Retweets 117 Quote Tweets 5532 Likes

The Current Job Market
Javascript Typescript AWS Python Java
1 month ago 265.2K views 0 shares
theCurrentJobMarket | html-memes, css-memes, javascript-memes, software-memes, java-memes, linux-memes, engineer-memes, software engineer-memes, ux-memes, aws-memes, try-memes, node-memes, nodejs-memes, security-memes, sql-memes, angular-memes, spring-memes, mongodb-memes, typescript-memes, bash-memes, docker-memes, selenium-memes, maven-memes, jenkins-memes, mongo-memes, springboot-memes, c#-memes, gcp-memes, ide-memes, ML-memes, terraform-memes, nosql-memes, ci/cd-memes, kubernetes-memes, cs-memes, graph-memes, graphql-memes, tcp-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
[text] 2020 Company We hope you have a pulse because were about to pay you 100k and teach you everything you need to know Me Yay Im a software engineer 2024 Company You must know SQL Java Kubernetes Docker AWS Terraform Jenkins CICD C ServiceNow NoSQL GraphQL Typescript Spring SpringBoot Selenium Maven JUnit Javascript Jest NodeJS MongoDB Angular HTML CSS TCP IP Linux Virtualization TLS GCP Bash have active security clearance masters degree CS or related field and mi um 10 years of experience. Please provide cover letter academic transcript and 3 professional references. Posted now. Entry level role 22.50hr. 800 applications job expired. made with mematic

Not Easy To Find That Many People
Javascript AWS StackOverflow Linux Databases
3 months ago 93.6K views 0 shares
notEasyToFindThatManyPeople | developer-memes, stack-memes, aws-memes, react-memes, git-memes, sql-memes, angular-memes, mongodb-memes, postgresql-memes, recruiters-memes, recruit-memes, mongo-memes, postgres-memes, IT-memes, redis-memes, mac-memes, twitter-memes, retweet-memes, cs-memes, full stack-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content Mayank Joshi dermayank Dear recruiters, if you are looking for: - Java, Python, PHP - React, Angular - PostgreSQL, Redis, MongoDB - AWS, S3, EC2, ECS, EKS - nix system administration - Git and CI with TDD - Docker, Kubernetes That's not a Full Stack Developer That's an entire IT department 3:52 PM 29 Jun 21 Twitter for Mac 1,403 Retweets 117 Quote Tweets 5,532 Likes 17 :

The Enterprise Prefers Mongo Db
Databases Backend
5 months ago 18.9K views 0 shares
theEnterprisePrefersMongoDB | data-memes, excel-memes, database-memes, mongodb-memes, mongo-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content For the last time, EXCEL is NOT a database

Mongo Db Was Amistake
Databases Backend
5 months ago 18.1K views 0 shares
mongoDbWasAMistake | sql-memes, mongodb-memes, mongo-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content Juan Pedro Fisanotti fisadev Human evolution reached its peak at SQL with WHERE age 42 OR name NOT IN "arthur" "marvin" and then MongoDB came in and sent us back to the stone age with Sor: age: gte: 42, name: (Snin: "arthur", "marvin" 13313

Say what?
Databases Backend
6 months ago 26.1K views 0 shares
Say what? | security-memes, mongodb-memes, authentication-memes, mongo-memes, IT-memes, public-memes, encryption-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content TODAY Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info. Hi. La security issue. some details are public through a MongoDB with no Authentication 20-32 J kindly give me some contact info of a person who manages security 20:33 Hey, Thanks for the information. I will forward it to the concerned team. 20:33 May I know where did you get this number from? You 20.34 security issue. some details are public through a MongoDB w... the same database 20.37 V

7k per year nahh man💀 Apparently being a startup is a pass to pay slave wages
Javascript Programming php Python Java
6 months ago 68.9K views 0 shares
7k per year nahh man💀 Apparently being a startup is a pass to pay slave wages | programming-memes, developer-memes, html-memes, css-memes, javascript-memes, tech-memes, php-memes, java-memes, web-memes, design-memes, stack-memes, program-memes, server-memes, jquery-memes, mysql-memes, node-memes, node.js-memes, loc-memes, data-memes, sql-memes, database-memes, laravel-memes, mongodb-memes, api-memes, date-memes, monitor-memes, cli-memes, mongo-memes, rds-memes, edge-memes, query-memes, idea-memes, ide-memes, ML-memes, front-end-memes, cs-memes, startup-memes, framework-memes, fullstack-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content Sr Fullstack Developer at Canadian Wealth 7k-12k No equity Are you tired of looking for the next project to work on? This opportunity is for you. We are looking for highly motivated candidate that wants to join a fast growing startups based in Canada. As a Fullstack Developer, you will be responsible for the server-side web application logic as well as for the integration of the front-end part. If you have outstanding programming skills and a great passion for developing beautiful, innovative applications, then you will love this job. The Job: Set the technical direction and standards for vour team Work collaboratively with other team members Full responsibility for your application (deploy, monitor, and maintain) Design database and client-server architecture The Ideal Candidate: 4 years experience with web frameworks Proven experience with Laravel, PHP, HTML, JavaScript, Node.js, Mysql Proven experience with CSS, SCSS, Javascript, query Expert knowledge of API architectures concepts Save Apply Location Remote Calgary Job type Contract Visa sponsorship Not Available Hires remotely in India Nigeria Experience 2 years Skills PHP Javascript jQuery MySQL MongoDB HTMLCSSPHPMYSQL Laravel Blade Templating Hiring contact Alexandre Cam... CEO 5 years