mongodb Memes

A Small Project With Big Ambitions
Webdev Devops Programming Databases Frontend
17 days ago 111.7K views 0 shares
A Small Project With Big Ambitions
The perfect visualization of scope creep in web development! What starts as a cute little kid wanting a few technologies (MongoDB, Redis, Angular) turns into a database apocalypse. First frame: "I only need 5 requests per minute!" Second frame: "Just a few tables with hundreds of records!" By the final frame, this innocent project has transformed into a resource-devouring monster with Oracle, Hadoop, and every framework under the sun strapped to it, terrorizing the server playground while screaming "MAKE WAY LOSERS! I'M ABOUT TO PROCESS MY 5 USERS!" The irony of overengineering a solution that serves practically no one is just *chef's kiss*. It's that side project that started with "I'll just use a simple stack" and somehow ended up with Kubernetes.

SQL Dev's Existential Crisis With MongoDB Syntax
Databases Javascript Programming Backend
22 days ago 108.4K views 0 shares
SQL Dev's Existential Crisis With MongoDB Syntax
SQL developer: "I'll just ask for users between 25-30 years old. Simple query, right?" MongoDB: "Hold my document-oriented beer while I throw this nested JSON monstrosity at you with operators like $and, $gte, and $lte that look like someone's trying to launder money through code." The mental journey from SELECT * FROM users WHERE age BETWEEN 25 AND 30 to whatever that bracket nightmare is... pure existential crisis material. The facial expressions say it all - from innocent curiosity to complete spiritual awakening.

Why Do NoSQL Devs Eat Lunch Alone?
Databases Programming Backend
29 days ago 113.3K views 0 shares
Why Do NoSQL Devs Eat Lunch Alone?
SQL developers can join tables with a simple JOIN statement. NoSQL folks? They're structurally incapable of such social graces. MongoDB devs frantically embedding documents into their sandwiches while PostgreSQL users effortlessly merge their lunch groups with elegant inner joins. The cafeteria has become a database paradigm battleground, and the document store people are losing badly.

I Love [Object Object] DB
Javascript Webdev Debugging Databases Frontend
1 month ago 112.8K views 0 shares
I Love [Object Object] DB
MongoDB trying to convince you it's built for every app while JavaScript is silently converting its marketing message to [object Object] is the perfect metaphor for web development. Nothing says "I'm ready for production" like your database advertisement turning into the infamous toString() failure that haunts every JS developer's nightmares. If your marketing can't escape type coercion issues, maybe your database isn't really built for "every" app after all...

When Worlds Collide: JSON In SQL Database
Databases Webdev Javascript Programming Backend
1 month ago 131.0K views 0 shares
When Worlds Collide: JSON In SQL Database
Ah yes, the elegant solution of cramming a jumbo jet into a cargo plane—just like trying to shove your beautiful, flexible JSON data into the rigid, tabular prison of SQL. Database architects be like: "It technically fits if we disassemble the wings, normalize the engines into separate tables, and pretend those nested objects don't exist!" Meanwhile, NoSQL developers are watching this disaster unfold while sipping tea.

Web Scale: The Only Legacy That Matters
Databases Webdev Devops Programming Backend
1 month ago 128.6K views 0 shares
Web Scale: The Only Legacy That Matters
MongoDB's marketing team really nailed their priorities here. Forget trivial things like your compensation, burnout, or work-life balance - the only legacy that matters is knowing their database is "web scale." For the uninitiated, "web scale" became a tech buzzword after a famous parody video where a MongoDB enthusiast repeatedly screams "it's web scale!" while a MySQL user questions what that actually means. The phrase became shorthand for "sounds impressive but possibly meaningless tech jargon." Nothing says "I've made it in tech" quite like remembering marketing slogans instead of your actual life experiences. Your therapist would have a field day with this one.

I See No Difference
Databases Webdev Javascript Programming Backend
2 months ago 152.6K views 0 shares
I See No Difference
The corporate world wants us to believe JSON and NoSQL databases are different technologies, but developers know better. It's like asking what's the difference between a filing cabinet and... a filing cabinet. Both store unstructured data in key-value pairs, both make schema changes trivial, and both make database purists cry themselves to sleep at night. MongoDB is basically just JSON with extra steps and a marketing team. Next they'll tell us arrays and lists are completely different concepts!

The Two Types You Actually Need
Databases Programming Backend
2 months ago 137.3K views 1 shares
The Two Types You Actually Need
Who needs 50 different data types when you can just slap everything into a JSONB column and call it a day? This is basically PostgreSQL developers discovering MongoDB's entire business model. The tweet shows the ultimate database hack: create a table with just an ID and a JSONB field that's essentially a shapeless blob of whatever garbage you want to throw in there. Schema? We don't know her. Data integrity? Never met her. It's the database equivalent of shoving everything under your bed when your mom tells you to clean your room. And the best part? This is exactly what MongoDB has been selling as a "feature" all along. Turns out you can have NoSQL chaos in your SQL database too!

MongoDB First Draft
Databases Programming Backend
2 months ago 138.3K views 0 shares
MongoDB First Draft
Ah, the evolution of databases in one SQL statement. This dev is basically saying "forget all those fancy PostgreSQL data types – just give me an ID and a JSON blob and I'll figure out the rest." It's the database equivalent of saying "I don't need a fancy toolbox, just give me duct tape and WD-40." What's hilarious is this is literally how MongoDB was born – "schemas are too restrictive, just throw everything in a document!" Now we've come full circle with PostgreSQL's JSONB type, letting relational database purists secretly use NoSQL patterns while still feeling superior. It's like wearing a MongoDB t-shirt under your Oracle business suit.

Master Password Leaked
Security AI Programming Databases Backend
2 months ago 163.1K views 1 shares
Master Password Leaked
Oh no, the classic "junior dev learns about security the hard way" moment! Nothing says "career-limiting move" quite like accidentally pasting database credentials into ChatGPT while asking for MongoDB help. That innocent "hehe" quickly turns to "not hehe" when you realize you've just handed over root access with the world's most predictable password (hunter2) to an AI that remembers everything . Security team's gonna love this one... right after they finish having simultaneous heart attacks.

Not Easyto Findthatmany People
Javascript AWS php Python Java
3 months ago 319.3K views 0 shares
notEasytoFindthatmanyPeople | developer-memes, php-memes, java-memes, python-memes, stack-memes, aws-memes, react-memes, git-memes, sql-memes, angular-memes, mongodb-memes, postgresql-memes, docker-memes, recruiters-memes, recruit-memes, mongo-memes, postgres-memes, IT-memes, redis-memes, mac-memes, kubernetes-memes, twitter-memes, retweet-memes, cs-memes, full stack-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
[text] F Mayank Joshi dermayank Dear recruiters if you are looking for Java Python PHP React Angular PostgreSQL Redis MongoDB AWS S3 EC2 ECS EKS nix system administration Git and Cl with TDD Docker Kubernetes Thats not a Full Stack Developer Thats an entire IT department 352 PM 29 Jun 21 Twitter for Mac 1403 Retweets 117 Quote Tweets 5532 Likes

The Current Job Market
Javascript Typescript AWS Python Java
3 months ago 429.3K views 0 shares
theCurrentJobMarket | html-memes, css-memes, javascript-memes, software-memes, java-memes, linux-memes, engineer-memes, software engineer-memes, ux-memes, aws-memes, try-memes, node-memes, nodejs-memes, security-memes, sql-memes, angular-memes, spring-memes, mongodb-memes, typescript-memes, bash-memes, docker-memes, selenium-memes, maven-memes, jenkins-memes, mongo-memes, springboot-memes, c#-memes, gcp-memes, ide-memes, ML-memes, terraform-memes, nosql-memes, ci/cd-memes, kubernetes-memes, cs-memes, graph-memes, graphql-memes, tcp-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
[text] 2020 Company We hope you have a pulse because were about to pay you 100k and teach you everything you need to know Me Yay Im a software engineer 2024 Company You must know SQL Java Kubernetes Docker AWS Terraform Jenkins CICD C ServiceNow NoSQL GraphQL Typescript Spring SpringBoot Selenium Maven JUnit Javascript Jest NodeJS MongoDB Angular HTML CSS TCP IP Linux Virtualization TLS GCP Bash have active security clearance masters degree CS or related field and mi um 10 years of experience. Please provide cover letter academic transcript and 3 professional references. Posted now. Entry level role 22.50hr. 800 applications job expired. made with mematic