Cloudflare Outage: From Panic To S'mores

Content 6:09 0 0 7 6 11 0 77 You 1 minute ago Software Engineer KQED San Francisco, CA (On-site) Qualifications Skills in Easy Apply Demonstrable knowledge of Computer Science fundamentals - data algorithms and software fundamentals like SDLC, networking Good knowledge of Agile lifecycle methodologies: Agile, Scrum etc. At least 3 years or more of experience in developing modern back-er using one or more of the following: Node.jsJavaScript, PHP and Wor Spring Boot. Strong knowledge experience with no-SQL databases such as Elas MongoDB. Sound knowledge of source code management systems such as: git, Strong knowledge of CICD environments (we use Spinnaker, in conji Docker). Familiarity with cloud native applications and cloud platforms like GC Ability to collaborate and communicate within a cross functional tear Ability to independently work on small features across codebases. Physical Demands: Ability to lift a minimum of fifteen (15) pounds; Ability to exert maximum muscle force to lift, push, pull or carry: Ability to use abdominal and lower back muscles over time without fe Ability to stand andor sit for extended periods; Ability to bend, stoop, stretch, twist, sit, and reach; Fine motor skills: Good visual and auditory acuitv. The physical demands described here represent those that an emplovee mu the essential functions of this iob successfullv.

Nothing ages you quite like maintaining a Kubernetes cluster. One day you're a bright-eyed developer pushing your first container, the next you're frantically Googling "why pods evicted" at 2AM while your hair turns gray in real-time. The human body simply wasn't designed to withstand YAML indentation errors and cryptic etcd failures. For every successful deployment, your telomeres shorten by approximately 17%.

Ah, the mysterious cloud save from the year 1601 — clearly from when your medieval ancestor was debugging the first JavaScript framework on their stone tablet. Meanwhile, your save from 2025 suggests you've been living in the future. Time travel: the unexpected side effect of cloud synchronization that no one mentioned in the documentation. Choose wisely, traveler. That 1601 save probably doesn't include your NFT collection or quantum blockchain commits.

Ah yes, the classic expectation vs. reality of container deployment. In the cloud, your containers are neatly organized on massive infrastructure with redundancy and professional management. Meanwhile, on your poor overloaded Ubuntu laptop, it's just boxes crammed into a car that's one Docker command away from complete system collapse. That feeling when you've got 17 containers running and your fan sounds like it's preparing for liftoff. Your laptop isn't hosting containers—it's being held hostage by them. And yet we keep typing "docker-compose up" like memory is infinite and thermal throttling is just a myth.

Content When vou are a junior engineer asked to review your senior engineer's PR, and is vour turn to point out flaws in the code Look at me. I'm the captain now

HONEY, PLEASE! Who has time for GitHub's intended purpose when you can exploit it as your personal cloud storage?! 💅 The AUDACITY of developers using a version control platform for... *gasp*... version control! Meanwhile, the rest of us GENIUSES are uploading our vacation photos and meme collections to repositories called "definitely-important-code-stuff". Free storage is free storage, darling, and I'm not about to pay for Dropbox when I can just push my 4K cat pictures to main! #HackingTheSystem