Just Use Curl

Ah, the gentle bedtime reading for Linux developers—a chapter on "Process Primitives" that escalates from "Having Children" (fork() calls) to "Watching Your Children Die" (handling terminated child processes) in approximately 0.2 seconds. The progression from spawning processes to murdering them, with a nostalgic pit stop at vfork() for the greybeards, perfectly captures the existential horror that is Linux process management. Nothing says "totally normal operating system" like documentation that reads like a serial killer's manifesto. And they wonder why therapists ask Linux developers if they're "killing children" at work.

The octopus with its many tentacles perfectly captures the eldritch horror of trying to escape Vim! "Just memorize these fourteen contextually dependent instructions" is the understatement of the century. Every developer knows the panic that sets in when accidentally opening Vim in the terminal—suddenly you're trapped in a text editor designed by Cthulhu himself. The "Eventually" at the bottom is the chef's kiss, acknowledging that you'll escape... someday... perhaps after evolving additional appendages. The "O RLY?" publisher parody is the perfect finishing touch for this monument to keyboard suffering.

Nothing says "I'm definitely a hacker" like opening a terminal with its black background and colorful text in public. I've stopped using terminals at coffee shops because I'm tired of explaining that I'm just checking why my API is returning 500 errors, not launching nukes at North Korea. The best part is when you type ls -la and someone gasps like you just bypassed the Pentagon's firewall. Ten years of software architecture experience and my family still thinks I can fix their Facebook account because "you know computers."

When you accidentally create a literal tilde (~) directory and then panic-delete your entire home folder... classic career-shortening move! The tilde in Unix/Linux is shorthand for your home directory, but this poor soul created an actual folder named "~" and then ran rm -rf ~/ thinking they were being precise. Spoiler alert: they weren't deleting the tilde folder—they were nuking their entire home directory from orbit. That moment of realization between "Stopped thinking" and updating your resume is approximately 0.3 seconds.

Oh. My. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of spending 4 HOURS writing a script instead of suffering through 3 hours of mind-numbing manual labor! 💅 The DRAMA of it all - spending an EXTRA HOUR just to avoid clicking the same button 5,000 times like some sort of digital hamster on a wheel! But honey, that's not wasted time - that's an INVESTMENT in your sanity and future laziness. The script will be there tomorrow, but those 3 hours of your life? GONE FOREVER. Besides, what kind of self-respecting developer manually does ANYTHING that could be automated? The HORROR!

Nothing says "I'm basically a tech wizard" like casually typing commands in a terminal while non-programmers watch in awe. Money and status? Pathetic. But watching someone's eyes widen as you cd into a directory and run ls -la ? Pure, unfiltered dopamine. The best part is when you throw in some completely unnecessary commands just for the theatrical effect. sudo something. Anything. Watch them gasp.