Fastest Way To Empty Your Wallet: The O(API) Sorting Algorithm

Ah, the rare medical condition known as "Machine Learning Engineer Syndrome." The brain scan shows a human surviving with 90% of their brain replaced by AI, which explains why they can function normally despite writing 200 lines of code to print "Hello World" and claiming "the algorithm did it." This is basically every AI engineer who spends 8 hours prompting ChatGPT instead of learning how to code. The remaining 10% of brain matter is reserved exclusively for explaining why their neural network needs more compute time and arguing that "it's not a bug, it's an undocumented feature."

ABSOLUTE CHAOS BEHIND ME? Couldn't care less! My neural network is THRIVING on those sweet, sweet 32 gigabytes of video RAM! While mere mortals panic about the metaphorical house fire that is our AI models consuming astronomical computing resources, I'm just standing here with that smug little smile knowing my GPU can handle it. Who needs ethical considerations or efficiency when you can just throw more VRAM at the problem?! The data center might be melting down, but at least my model can hallucinate cat pictures in 8K resolution! 💅

Content Finding enterprise input validation code that's just if"@* in emailString: return true

The Grim Reaper of tech strikes again! Microsoft proudly announces 30% of their code is AI-generated, only to immediately follow it up with a Windows 11 update that breaks localhost of all things. For non-devs, localhost (127.0.0.1) is literally your own computer—the digital equivalent of forgetting how to talk to yourself. It's like bragging about your fancy new robot chef right before it sets your kitchen on fire. The "mass uninstall workaround" is just chef's kiss perfection—nothing says "quality software" like "have you tried turning it off permanently?"

Ah, the sweet irony of digital existence. Imagine needing a machine to confirm you're not a machine. It's like asking a fish to verify you can swim. We've gone from "I think, therefore I am" to "An AI thinks I am, therefore I am." The existential crisis of 2023 isn't about purpose—it's about convincing algorithms we're flesh and blood while they're busy learning to mimic our every thought. Next up: AIs requiring verification from other AIs that they're authentic AIs. The circle of digital life continues.

The secret sauce to startup valuation in 2024: change your loading spinners to "thinking..." and boom — you're an AI company! Venture capitalists are frantically throwing term sheets at anyone who can make their app pretend to contemplate existence. The best part? The code behind it is still the same janky setTimeout() that's been crashing in production since 2018. But hey, fake it till you make it a unicorn, right?