That's Not A Boot Sequence, That's A Demonic Ritual

Content PROGRAMMING SKILL 00 02 04 06 08 10 12 M 16 13 30 22 24 26 BLOOD ALCOHOL CONCENTRATION () CALLED THE BALLMER PEAK, IT WAS DISCOVERED BY MICROSOFT IN THE LATE 80's. THE CAUSE IS UNKNOWN, BUT SOMEHOW A BAC. BETWEEN 0.129x AND 0.138 CONFERS SUPERHUMAN PROGRAMMING ABILITY. HOWEVER, IT'S A DELICATE EFFECT REQUIRING CAREFULCALIBRATION- YOU CAN'T JUST GIE A TEAM OF CODERS A YEAR'S SUPPLY OF WHISKEY AND TELL THEM TO GET CRACKING, HAS THAT EVER HAPPENED? REMEMBER WINDOWS ME? I KNEW IT! Procrammersumori

OH. MY. GOD. The AUDACITY of Microsoft with their "Stay signed in?" prompt! 😱 That little checkbox promising to "reduce the number of times you are asked to sign in" is the BIGGEST FANTASY since my code worked on the first try! The tweet nails it - what IS the most successful lie in history? Spoiler alert: it's that checkbox! ✨ I've clicked "Yes" and checked that box approximately 7,492 times on my work laptop, and yet Microsoft still has the NERVE to ask me again 5 minutes later like we're complete strangers who've never met! It's the digital equivalent of your ex pretending they don't recognize you at the grocery store! 💔

Content Stack Overflow invented 2008. Programmers before 2008:

The ultimate renewable energy source: Linux evangelism! Someone says "Linux can't do that" and boom—an army of penguin enthusiasts hikes uphill with solar-powered loudspeakers, only to fall through a trapdoor and power a turbine on their way down. It's basically how the entire Stack Overflow ecosystem functions. The best part? They're safely deposited at the bottom, ready to climb again when someone mentions gaming on Windows. The circle of life continues, and free electricity for everyone!

Content Janis Kluge jakluge 17h Due to sanctions, Russia is switching from Windows to Linux. The government wants to force domestic programmers to convert their software. But there are doubts: Many systems will have to be rebuilt from scratch, and there are few Linux experts around. kommersant.rudoc5570730 48 17 237 740 Kait airenni Replying to jakluge You can't throw a political enemy out a fourth-floor Linux, though. 11:09 AM 20 Sep 22 Twitter for Android

The dreaded "storage execution" scene! That moment when your SSD is at 99% capacity and you need to install a 60GB game. Suddenly you're Negan from The Walking Dead, bat in hand, deciding which of your precious game installs gets the digital axe. The 45GB game is sweating bullets while the 92GB behemoth is practically begging to be spared. "But I'm only 30% through the campaign!" Meanwhile, the 58GB and 89GB games are silently accepting their fate, knowing they haven't been launched in 8 months. Bonus pain: after deleting 200GB worth of games, you realize the new one needs another 50GB for the day-one patch.