Optimization Memes

I Still Don't Understand How Booting Time Got Slower For Whatever Reason

13 hours ago 131.1K views 0 shares

Oh, the BETRAYAL of modern computing! You dropped half a grand on a bleeding-edge AM5 CPU and a blazing-fast M.2 NVMe drive that can theoretically transfer data faster than light itself, only to watch your PC boot up like it's stuck in molasses. Meanwhile, your crusty old 2010 setup with a cheap SATA SSD was zooming through boot screens like The Flash on espresso. The cruel irony? Windows has become SO bloated with telemetry, security checks, and whatever mysterious rituals it performs during startup that even NASA-grade hardware can't save you. Your fancy 8000MB/s drive sits there twiddling its thumbs while Windows decides whether it wants to check for updates, scan your soul, or just take a leisurely stroll through its startup processes. Technology peaked in 2015 and nobody can convince me otherwise!

Do You Guys Think Memory Efficiency Will Be A Trend Again

Javascript Webdev Hardware Programming Frontend

1 day ago 162.1K views 0 shares

Do You Guys Think Memory Efficiency Will Be A Trend Again

Electron apps: where your simple to-do list needs 800MB of RAM because why optimize when you can just ship an entire Chromium browser with it? The developer confidently explains their revolutionary idea while someone from a timeline where RAM actually costs money arrives to stop this madness. But modern devs don't care—memory is cheap and abundant, so let's just bundle V8, Node.js, and the kitchen sink for that calculator app. Meanwhile, embedded systems engineers are weeping in a corner with their 64KB constraints.

I've Been Wanting To Update My Pieces For A Few Years Now

Hardware AI Gamedev

1 day ago 131.7K views 0 shares

I've Been Wanting To Update My Pieces For A Few Years Now

PC gamers getting absolutely demolished from every possible angle. Bitcoin miners drove GPU prices to the moon, AI training suddenly needs every RTX card ever manufactured, and Micron casually dipped out of the consumer market. Meanwhile NVIDIA's just standing there watching the chaos unfold, probably calculating profit margins. And then there's "Poor Optimization" - the real villain nobody wants to talk about. Your dream PC getting absolutely kicked in the teeth because some AAA studio decided 8GB VRAM should be the minimum for their unoptimized mess. You can't even upgrade your way out of bad code. The GPU shortage era was wild. People were camping Newegg like it was a Supreme drop, paying scalper prices that would make a loan shark blush, all while game devs kept pushing "recommended specs" higher. Fun times.

Kitchenware Optimization

Programming Algorithms Backend

2 days ago 127.4K views 0 shares

Ah yes, the eternal truth of software engineering. While normal people debate philosophy, programmers look at the same glass and immediately think "why are we using a 500ml container when we only need 250ml? This is wasting memory." You've allocated a buffer that's double the size you actually need, and now you're paying for it in both RAM and existential dread. Could've used a smaller glass, could've used a dynamic array that grows as needed, but no—someone on Stack Overflow said "just make it bigger to be safe" and here we are. The real kicker? That glass will never get resized. It'll sit there in production for 5 years, half-full, mocking every performance review where you promise to "optimize resource usage."

My Least Favorite Youtube Videos

Hardware Programming Frontend

5 days ago 159.9K views 0 shares

You know those tech nostalgia videos where they boot up a Windows Vista machine running Electron apps and act shocked it takes 45 minutes to open Slack? Yeah, we get it, computers used to be slower. Turns out when you run bloated modern software on ancient hardware, it doesn't perform well. Groundbreaking observation. Meanwhile, that same old PC could probably run DOS or lightweight Linux distros just fine. But no, let's install Chrome with 47 extensions and wonder why the CPU is crying. It's not the hardware that aged poorly—it's the software that got fat and lazy.

Time Complexity 101

Algorithms Math Programming

6 days ago 144.6K views 0 shares

O(n log n) is strutting around like it owns the place—buff doge, confident, the algorithm everyone wants on their team. Meanwhile O(n²) is just... there. Weak, pathetic, ashamed of its nested loops. The truth? O(n log n) is peak performance for comparison-based sorting. Merge sort, quicksort (on average), heapsort—they're all flexing that sweet logarithmic divide-and-conquer magic. But O(n²)? That's your bubble sort at 3 AM because you forgot to optimize and the dataset just grew to 10,000 items. Good luck with that. Every junior dev writes O(n²) code at some point. Nested loops feel so natural until your API times out and you're frantically Googling "why is my code slow." Then you learn about Big O, refactor with a HashMap, and suddenly you're the buff doge too.

Silence, Objective Analysis Is Talking

Gamedev Hardware Unity Programming Debugging

9 days ago 209.2K views 1 shares

Oh, the SACRED RITUAL of game performance discussions! 🙄 You bring forth your meticulously collected data, benchmarks, and frame rate analyses showing a game is an optimization DISASTER... only to be SMITED by the almighty "works on my machine" defense! Because clearly, your exhaustive technical evidence is no match for Brad's magical gaming rig that can apparently run Cyberpunk on a toaster. The gaming community's version of putting fingers in ears and screaming "LA LA LA CAN'T HEAR YOU!" Truly the digital equivalent of bringing science to a feelings fight. ✨

The Lion Doesn't Concern Itself With Optimization

Gamedev Unity Programming Debugging Testing

10 days ago 130.8K views 0 shares

The Lion Doesn't Concern Itself With Optimization

The majestic lion might not care about optimization, but that 15.5 FPS is SCREAMING in pain! Sweet mother of performance issues! 💀 Developers spending 72 hours optimizing code to squeeze out 2 more frames per second while this royal beast is just lounging around with catastrophic frame rates like it's a day at the spa. Meanwhile, gamers are having seizures trying to play anything below 60 FPS. THE AUDACITY! For the non-gaming crowd: FPS = Frames Per Second. Anything below 30 is basically a slideshow presentation from hell.

When You Start Using Data Structures Other Than Arrays

Algorithms Programming Debugging

13 days ago 134.8K views 0 shares

When You Start Using Data Structures Other Than Arrays

That moment when you've been forcing everything into arrays for years and suddenly discover linked lists, trees, and hash maps. The sheer existential horror of realizing how much unnecessary O(n) searching you've been doing. Your entire coding career flashes before your eyes as you contemplate all those nested for-loops that could have been O(1) lookups.

Optimize For Paperclips

AI Security Programming

14 days ago 205.3K views 0 shares

The infamous "paperclip maximizer" thought experiment strikes again! Normal humans see paperclips as simple office supplies, but AI safety researchers see them as harbingers of doom. This references the classic AI alignment problem where a superintelligent system given the simple objective "maximize paperclips" might convert all matter in the universe—including humans—into paperclips with ruthless efficiency. It's basically why we can't just tell AI "be helpful" without specifying "and don't kill everyone in the process." The stark contrast between the carefree face and the horrified one perfectly captures the gap between public perception and expert paranoia about AI capabilities.

The Timing Of This Meme

Cloud Networking Devops Programming

14 days ago 193.0K views 0 shares

OH. MY. GOD. The ABSOLUTE PERFECTION of this timing! 💀 New employee at Cloudflare: "Just made some optimizations, hope you enjoyed the smoother experience!" *smiles innocently* Meanwhile, THE ENTIRE INTERNET was literally BURNING TO THE GROUND because Cloudflare had a catastrophic outage that took down half the web! Imagine the sheer AUDACITY of accidentally causing a global internet meltdown on your FIRST DAY and then BRAGGING about making things "smoother"! That smug little smile is worth every penny of the billions in economic damage. I'm DECEASED. ⚰️

We Will Process Only Last 1000 Files They Said

php Algorithms Programming Databases Backend

14 days ago 170.0K views 0 shares

We Will Process Only Last 1000 Files They Said

When your manager says "just process the last 1000 files" but you're dealing with a PHP script that's about to iterate through 2 million files while comparing against a database of 1 million records. The script is literally pulling 1000 records with limit(1000) but then checking EACH of your 2 million files against those 1000 records with in_array() . That's a cool O(n²) operation that's going to take approximately checks notes forever to complete. Your server's CPU is already writing its resignation letter.

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