How Do You Do, Fellow PowerShell Programmers

The oldest joke in the OS wars still hits different after all these years. NASA actually does use Linux in space because it's reliable, customizable, and doesn't randomly decide to update when you're trying to not die in the vacuum of space. Meanwhile, the rest of us are just trying to convince management that rebooting the production server during business hours is, in fact, a terrible idea. But hey, at least we're not trying to open Windows in space.

Congratulations! You've just witnessed a technological funeral without even sending flowers. Remember when we'd spend hours burning installation CDs, driver discs, and backup DVDs? Now we just click "download" and forget physical media exists. That beige CD drive is basically a museum piece now—like finding a dinosaur fossil in your desk drawer. The silent tragedy is that some poor Verbatim disc factory worker probably shed a tear the day cloud storage took over and nobody noticed. Pour one out for those 700MB circular heroes that got us through the pre-broadband dark ages.

That moment when your "free antivirus" solution turns out to be worse than the original threat. The classic bait-and-switch where you download some sketchy antivirus to save your computer, but instead of rescuing the hostage, it just executes it and high-fives the original virus. Been in tech for 15 years and I've seen more systems bricked by "PC SUPER CLEANER 2000" than actual malware. Pro tip: Windows Defender and common sense are free and don't come with complementary ransomware.

When your power supply is literally smoking but tech support insists on running through their entire script before admitting the obvious. This is the perfect illustration of the eternal battle between users who can see their computer is on fire and tech support who needs you to turn it off and on again first. Because clearly, the NOSMOKE module being incompatible with your power supply isn't as obvious as the actual smoke pouring out of your case. And the final punchline? Microsoft can't help because NOSMOKE isn't compatible with your power supply. You don't say! Next they'll tell you that water isn't compatible with electrocution.

Nothing triggers my selective hearing faster than a Linux evangelist launching into their sermon about how Windows is "basically spyware" and macOS is "just a pretty jail cell." Look, I've compiled my kernel from scratch too, but some battles just aren't worth fighting. The moment someone starts ranting about their Arch installation or how they've optimized their Vim config, I'm suddenly very interested in the fascinating art of pretending to be asleep. Self-preservation isn't just for operating systems—it's for sanity too.

Remember when you could buy a graphics card without taking out a second mortgage? The "expectation" shows a humble GT440 from 9 years ago - probably cost you a reasonable $100 and could run Minecraft without setting your desk on fire. Fast forward to "reality" and we've got a monstrous GTX 1080Ti that costs more than some used cars and requires its own nuclear power plant. The best part? Both cards are equally impossible to find in stock. The crypto miners got the new ones, and your weird cousin who "builds gaming PCs" hoarded all the old ones.