Agentic Browsers Are Gonna Kill Chrome

Ah, the radical concept of *checks notes* owning what you pay for! Remember the ancient times when you'd buy Photoshop on a CD-ROM and it was just... yours? Now Adobe's subscription model has your credit card in a chokehold while whispering "it's for the updates, baby." The SaaS revolution turned software from products into hostage situations. "That'll be $14.99/month for features you'll use twice a year. Cancel anytime! (But your files become useless if you do.)" The real irony? The younger generation thinks this subscription madness is normal while us "boomers" are over here screaming into the void about perpetual licenses. If expecting ownership after payment makes me a boomer, then hand me my orthopedic shoes and early bird dinner special—I'll wear both with pride.

Non-programmers imagine us frantically typing at light speed like some Hollywood hacker. Meanwhile, the truth is we're just sitting there... contemplating our existence, wondering why that semicolon is breaking everything, and questioning our career choices. The only thing moving faster than our fingers is our imposter syndrome.

The ultimate irony - Downdetector itself experiencing a 5XX server error. It's like calling 911 only to hear "Sorry, the emergency service is currently experiencing an emergency." The digital equivalent of a firefighter's house burning down while they're out saving others. That moment when even the platform designed to tell you when other platforms are down... goes down. Trust issues intensified.

Reddit's tab proudly announcing it's devouring 1.5 GB of RAM like it's a lightweight achievement. Meanwhile, your computer is silently screaming as Reddit joins Chrome in the "let's hoard all system resources" competition. The real web development flex isn't making something efficient—it's making users upgrade their hardware to scroll through cat pictures and programming jokes.

OH. MY. GOD. The most DRAMATIC change in human history! Can you spot the difference? NEITHER CAN I! 😱 Programmers during quarantine living their EXACT SAME LIVES as before because we were ALREADY social distancing with our beloved screens! While the world burned and toilet paper became currency, developers just kept typing away in the same chair, same posture, same dead-inside expression. The pandemic's biggest plot twist? Absolutely NOTHING changed for us code monkeys! Our natural habitat remained undisturbed - just us and our eternal relationship with that blinking cursor. The rest of humanity finally got to experience our daily reality!

The ultimate recursive nightmare: adding .gitignore to your .gitignore file. It's like telling your version control "please ignore my instructions to ignore things." Then wondering why your repo is either tracking everything or nothing at all. The digital equivalent of putting a "Do Not Disturb" sign on your "Do Not Disturb" sign.