The Best Birthday Present

Content There's an old "ha ha, only serious" joke. If you go to a Linux forum and ask for help fixing your WiFi driver, everyone will ignore you. If, instead, you say "Linux sucks, you can't even get a fing WiFi driver working!" thousands of people will solve the problem for you.

The eternal truth of development - whether you're wrestling with CSS or wrangling microservices, the difficulty just keeps climbing. Someone clearly "fixed" this by showing that both frontend and backend are equally painful linear nightmares that never plateau. What they don't show is the third graph: "Time spent arguing about which one is harder" - that's an exponential curve.

Ah yes, the classic "computer expert" paradox. Got a master's degree in computer engineering but somehow can't figure out why your wife's laptop is making that weird clicking noise. The degree prepares you to design complex systems and algorithms, not to troubleshoot why Facebook is suddenly showing everything in Spanish after your mother-in-law borrowed the computer. It's like having a PhD in astrophysics but being unable to explain why the kitchen light flickers. The universe makes sense; household electronics remain an eternal mystery.

The eternal battle between programming languages in one perfect sumo match! The massive C and C++ community stands like an immovable mountain of legacy code and performance, while tiny Rust enthusiasts desperately try to push them over with their memory safety arguments. It's like watching your little cousin try to convince your stubborn uncle that his 40-year-old way of doing things might have some flaws. "But... but... we prevent segmentation faults at compile time!" Yeah, good luck with that, kiddo. The C/C++ devs just pat them on the head while continuing to manually manage memory like it's 1972.

Content Roman Sharkov admin Downloaded a virus for Linux lately and unpacked it. Tried to run it as root, didn't work. Googled for 2 hours, found out that instead of uslocalbin the virus unpacked to usr bin for which the user malware doesn't have any write permissions, therefore the virus couldn't create a process file. Found patched . configure and . make files on some Chinese forum, recompiled and rerun it. The virus said it needs the library cmalw-11b-2.0. Turns out cmalw-lib-2.0 is shipped with CentOS but not with Ubuntu. Googled for hours again and found an instruction to build a . deb package from source. The virus finally started, wrote some logs, made a core dump and crashed. After 1 hour of going through the logs 1 discovered the virus assumed it was running on ext4 and called into its disk encryption API. Under btrfs this API is deprecated. The kernel noticed and made this partition read-only. Opened the sources, grep'ed the Bitcoin wallet and sent 5 out of pity. 19-50

Content IF THE WORLD WAS CREATED BY A PROGRAMMER IN THE BEGINNING, THERE WAS THE HEAVEN AND THE EaRTH BUT THE EARTH WAS FORMLESS AND BUGGY, WITHOUT DOCUMENTATION BY toggl AND THE PROGRAMMER SAW THAT IT WAS NOT GOOD THEN YOU SAID "LET THERE BE LIGHT! BUT THE LIGHT DID NOT COMPILE. ON THE SECOND DAY. YOU MERGE WATER YOU CREATE A HACK SO THAT LIGHT IS PART THE LAND TO CREATE DARKNESS, YOU NEED TO HIDE THE LAND, BUT THat's OK CAUSE CREATURES WONT BE ADDED UNTIL LATER AND STACKOVERFLOW SAID IT'S FINE BUT BECAUSE OF THE DEPENDENCY, LIGHT BREAKS AS LAND IS ACCIDENTALL: FLOODED YOU CHECK STACKOVERFLOW (IN THE DARKNESS) IT's The thiRd DaY. TURNS OUT THE CREATURES NEEDED TO BE ADDED SOONER BUT THE CLIENT FORGOT to MENTION THAT You TRY TO ADD CREATURES YOU ADD THEM IN THE IN THE DARKNESS, BUT BROWSER USING COOKIES THERE'S NO LAND WITHOUT UNFORTUNATELY MAKES TuSM MORTAL LIGHT, AND YOU CAN'T HAVE LIGHT BECAUSE OF THE WATFO IT's THE FOURTH DAY. TURNS OUT THE ISSUES WERE CAUSED BY THE FLAT EARTH DESIGN YOU DECIDE TO USE C YOU ALSO USE STI TO CREATE A BALLOON FOR ABSTRACTIONS, AND THAT INFLATES THE EARTH IT WORKS OUT GREAT wITH NO COMPLICATIONS WHATSOEVER! IT'S THE FIFTH DaY YOU START ADDING PEOPLE TO HELP YoU. ON THE SIXTH DAY YoU LOOK AT THE CHAOS YOU CREATED DANGLING I YOU DECIDE TO CREATE THEM IN YOUR LIKENESS, WHICH IS A MISTAKE REACT THEY IMMEDIATELY POPULATE THE EARTH WITH HACKS, FADS AND UNNECESSARY JAVASCRIPT LIBRARIES JESUS. REACT FUCKIT.JS) QUERY YOU ATTEmPT TO LEAD PEOPLE BACK TO SENSIBLE PROGRAMMING BUT IT IS TOO LATE - EVERYTHING RUNS ON DEPENDENCIES. DAYTIMEAIR.JS SEA.JS REALISTIC.WAVES. JS gETTERBANKS.J BASE. JS GIRAFFE.JS ON ThE SEVENTH DAY You realLy want to REST, BUT YOU NEED oRGanISe aLL You've CreaTeD MONGODB TOGGL.COM MaRT VIRKUS ProdrammerHumor.io