Happens A Lot

[text] THE MYTH OF CONSENSUAL INTERNET Error 502 .. 099 ISNT THERE SOMEBODY YOU FORGOT TO ASK

Santa's face in that last panel says it all. The kid's asking for the one miracle no amount of Christmas magic can deliver: bug-free code that runs perfectly on the first try. I've been coding for 15 years and still check Stack Overflow when my "Hello World" crashes. Some wishes are just too ambitious for this universe's physics engine.

Content earthquake Alien attack thunderstorm BITTERSWEET Remembers how to fix error on line 56

Content Your PC ran into a problem and needs to restart. We're just collecting some error info, and then we'll restart for you. 20 complete 38 Linux Devs

Content 10 WAYS TO TROLL YOUR DEVELOPER 1: CHANGE ALL CONSOLE SETTINGS TO BLACK ON BLACK. STRANGE.. NO DEBUG PRINTOUTS 2: HAVE THEM FIX OLD CODE. 3: REQUIRE IT TO WORK ON ALL PLATFORMS. IT WILL HAVE TO RUN ON IOS, ANDROID, WINDOWS PHONE AND THIS ROTARY FROM 1931. 4: HIRE UNQUALIFIED DEVELOPERS. CHAD WILLBE DOING UI. :DISREGARD ANY NEED FOPTESTING A TESTING PHASE (ISN'T REALLY IN THE BUDGET. IT'S JUST GONNA HAVE TO WORK B 6: REQUIRE IT TO WORK FOR ALL USER GROUPS. MR. NIBBLES SAID ITS VERY UNINTUITIVE. MEOW. 7: POP YOUR HEAD IN EVERY FIVE MINUTES TO BOND OVER YOUR STUPID COWORKERS SHARON USES A QUESTION MARK WHEN SHE GOOGLES A QUESTION. ! 8: BLOCK ALL ACCESS TO STACK OVERFLOW. NOW, NOW, NO CHEATIN VELD 9: MAKE ALL TASKS TOP PRIORIT THE DATABASE NEEDS TO BE UP AND RUNNING ASAP, AS WELL AS THE AUDIO ENGINE, CRITICAL AND ALSO 3D BUTTON SHADING. 10:ASK A DEV TO 'FIX YOUR COMPUTER' MR. NIBBLES WAS WATCHING GOOD WIFE AND SUDDENLY THIS BLOC THINGY CAME 70 re War and Peas

The eternal developer marketing battle in four panels! Left side: "OUR LATEST MODEL" shows a perfectly chiseled Chad CPU flexing its processing muscles. Right side: "OUR COMPETITORS' MODELS" depicts three pathetic alternatives—one literally on fire with smoke coming out, one crying while plugged in, and one having an existential crisis. Every benchmark presentation ever made by hardware companies in a nutshell. "Our processor? Absolute unit. Theirs? Literal garbage that might burn your house down." The selective benchmarking and cherry-picked performance metrics are basically a developer rite of passage at this point. Just don't read the fine print that says "tested under liquid nitrogen in a vacuum chamber on a Tuesday during a solar eclipse."