Time Travelers Fix Bugs Before They Happen

Content IT Alignments Lawful Good Makes a ticket for you before working on your issue. Neutral Good Fixes it for you, but asks you to make a ticket afterward for tracking purposes Chaotic Good Fixes it for you with NO TRACKING AT ALL Lawful Neutral Refuses to work on your issue without a ticket. To do otherwise would be anarchy. Neutral Fixes all issues in the order they came in regardiess of pressure or bribery. Your emergency is not IT's emergency. Chaotic Neutral Fixes it for you if you bring in a good bribe, like bacon or cookie. Lawful Evil Forces you to make a ticket and then asks you to justify why your issue is more important than every other ticket. V Neutral Evil May or may not fix your issue, since obviously the real problem here is you, not your computer. Chaotic Evil Fixes your issue quickly and cheerfully and then tells the CEO that the servers went down because you were wasting IT's time with your petty problems.

BEHOLD! The magnificent tower of horrors that is "stable code"! That rickety structure is hanging on by what can only be described as the digital equivalent of thoughts and prayers. One gentle breeze—or heaven forbid, ONE TINY COMMIT—and the whole catastrophe comes crashing down like my will to live during a merge conflict. The scaffolding of desperation around it is basically the programming equivalent of crossing your fingers while whispering "please work, please work" during deployment. We've all been there, frantically typing "git stash" when someone asks us to fix "just one small bug" in production. DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH IT—it works by pure magic and spite at this point!

That moment when your codebase is held together by duct tape and prayers, but you keep adding more tape instead of rebuilding the foundation. The Senior Dev has finally had enough of your if/else spaghetti monster and temporary fixes that somehow lasted 3 years. Every programmer knows the temptation of the quick fix - "I'll just add this one exception case" turns into twenty nested conditionals that nobody understands anymore. Meanwhile, the tech debt grows stronger than Heisenberg's empire. Time to break the cycle and actually fix the architecture... right after this one last workaround.

Content 88 I'm from Canada, but live in the States now. It took me a while to get used to writing boolean variables with an "Is prefix, instead of the "Eh" suffix that Canadians use when programming For example: MyObj.IsVisible Myobj.visibleth share edited Oct 25 '11 at 21:35 community wiki 2 revs, 2 users 94 AlishahNovin 21 This is a joke, right? - Philip Jun 10 '11 at 19:09

When you ask for "McDouble, only ketchup" and get a sad bun with just ketchup because the fast food worker parsed your request like a poorly written function parameter. Classic case of ambiguous syntax in human-to-human interfaces. Should've used proper operator precedence: (McDouble) && (only ketchup) instead of McDouble && (only ketchup) . The compiler at McDonald's took the literal interpretation.

Ah, using regex to find prime numbers—the computational equivalent of performing brain surgery with a chainsaw. That expression isn't finding primes; it's summoning demons from the seventh circle of debugging hell. The look of pure madness on his face says it all: "I've stared into the regex abyss, and it winked back at me." Next time, just use the Sieve of Eratosthenes like a normal person instead of writing cryptic symbols that would make even Cthulhu say "that's a bit much."