The Selective Trust Of A Desperate Developer

Ah, the funeral for uBlock Origin, scheduled for July 2025. Firefox is there pointing at the tombstone like "you seeing this?" while Chrome stands nearby looking suspiciously guilty. Google's plan to kill ad blockers with Manifest V3 is basically sending flowers to its own revenue stream. Firefox users just sitting here with popcorn watching Chrome users discover what the internet looks like without ad blocking. It's like watching someone experience pop-up ads for the first time since 2005.

GASP! The HORROR of finding an Airbnb that's just... HTTP?! Not HTTPS?! My security-conscious soul is SHAKING! 😱 Imagine booking a room where your data travels NAKED across the internet without encryption! That's like sending your credit card info on a postcard and hoping nobody reads it! The web development gods are SCREAMING right now! No SSL certificate? In THIS economy?! I'd rather sleep in my car than connect to that Wi-Fi!

Ah yes, the "security through simplicity" approach. Why bother with REST constraints, data validation, or SQL injection protection when you can just let users execute raw queries directly against your production database? Nothing says "I trust the internet" like exposing your entire database through a single endpoint. The best part? When your company inevitably gets hacked, you can just blame it on "those pesky hackers" instead of your API that's basically a neon sign saying "DROP TABLES HERE". Bonus points for hardcoding credentials in your source code. Because who needs environment variables when you can just commit passwords directly to GitHub?

Ah, the classic "permission denied" scenario! A man has a heart attack, and a Computer Science PhD swoops in with OldMan.setHealth("100%") - but it fails spectacularly. Then comes the magic word every Linux user knows: sudo . Because nothing says "I have the power to fix anything" like superuser privileges. Medical degree? Nah. Root access? Absolutely. This is basically every programmer thinking they can solve real-world problems with code snippets. The patient recovered thanks to elevated permissions, not medical expertise. Classic case of "it works in production."

That moment when you accidentally run a query on production instead of staging. First panel: mild panic. Second panel: realizing you just leaked 2.5 billion users' data and your résumé is already outdated. The best part? That smile isn't happiness—it's the face of someone who knows their career just ended but the severance package will be spectacular. Nothing says "database engineer" like casually sipping coffee while committing digital arson.

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of modern cloud architecture! First we're all like "let's just vibe code" because who needs structure or security when you're disrupting industries, right?! 🙄 But then reality SLAPS YOU IN THE FACE when you put on those glasses and suddenly see what you've actually created—"Vulnerability as a Service"! HONEY, your startup isn't being innovative, it's being a 24/7 all-you-can-hack buffet for every script kiddie with a keyboard! The transformation from blissful ignorance to horrifying clarity is sending me into orbit! This is basically every CTO the morning after saying "we'll fix the security issues in the next sprint" for the 37th time in a row!