How To Get Fired In One Easy Step

Microsoft's email about Windows 10 end-of-support is basically the corporate equivalent of the Titanic's band playing while the ship sinks. "Your PC will continue to work, but support will be discontinued" is tech speak for "enjoy your future security vulnerabilities, we'll be over here selling Windows 11." The meme perfectly captures that sinking feeling when you realize your perfectly functional OS is being marched toward the digital graveyard while Microsoft plays a somber farewell tune. At least they're giving us 6 months to rearrange the deck chairs.

The "Remember me for 30 days" checkbox is the greatest fiction since documentation that says "it's simple." Your browser forgets you faster than a project manager forgets their promises. One day you're securely logged in, the next you're re-entering credentials you created during the Obama administration. That checkbox exists in the same fantasy realm as "quick 5-minute installation" and "zero downtime deployment."

The code snippet shows a hilariously naive approach to database deduplication that would make any DBA have a heart attack. It's basically iterating through social security numbers in a government database and if there are duplicates, it just deletes ALL matches with that SSN! The comment even includes the infamous Unix rm -rf command, implying this is the digital equivalent of taking a flamethrower to your records. Instead of properly identifying which record is legitimate or merging data, this nuclear option would just obliterate everyone's records if there happened to be a duplicate SSN. Congratulations, you've fixed identity fraud by erasing everyone's identity! Task failed successfully!

The ultimate tech interview power move. Skip the résumé, just hack the interviewer's calendar. Bonus points for finding their salary spreadsheet while you're in there. When they ask about your "ethical hacking skills," just stare blankly and say "what ethics?"

A lone dog stares contemplatively at the vast landscape, mourning the death of SMTP Basic Auth. The meme perfectly captures that special moment when tech giants decide your perfectly functional legacy system should die because "security." Meanwhile, thousands of IT admins worldwide are frantically updating ancient email scripts before everything breaks. But hey, progress, right? For the uninitiated, SMTP Basic Auth is that simple username/password authentication that's been reliably sending emails since the dawn of time. Now it's being put down like Old Yeller while modern OAuth solutions stand by, ready to introduce sixteen new points of failure.

The name's Bond. Technical Debt Bond. Licensed to deploy untested code directly to production. That "007" isn't just a cool spy number—it's a scoreboard: 0 tests, 0 documentation, and 7 critical vulnerabilities that would make Q have a nervous breakdown. The only thing more dangerous than facing a villain with a laser is maintaining this codebase next week when everyone's forgotten how it works. Shaken, not unit tested.