credentials Memes

Don't Actually Do This
Git Security Devops Programming Backend
12 hours ago 43.0K views 0 shares
Don't Actually Do This
Ah yes, the classic "fix" that fixes nothing. Committing your .env file to Git is like putting your house keys under the welcome mat and posting the address on Twitter. Sure, your code errors are gone... along with your database credentials, API keys, and whatever shred of respect your senior dev had for you. But hey, ship it.

You Don't Need Environment Variables
Security Webdev Devops Javascript Programming
5 days ago 62.6K views 0 shares
You Don't Need Environment Variables
The absolute madlad who hard-codes their API keys directly into the front-end JavaScript where anyone can see it with a quick inspect element. Security? What's that? Just a suggestion, like speed limits and code comments. Nothing says "I trust the internet" like broadcasting your AWS credentials to every single visitor. Next level: storing passwords in plaintext because "hashing is just extra work."

How To Get Fired In One Easy Step
Security Webdev Devops Javascript Frontend
19 days ago 83.5K views 0 shares
How To Get Fired In One Easy Step
The worst security advice ever wrapped in a cute anime package! Hardcoding your API keys directly in your frontend JavaScript is like leaving your house keys under the doormat with a neon sign pointing to it. Any curious user can just pop open DevTools, check the Network tab or source code, and boom—free access to your services! That $20,000 AWS bill because someone found your S3 credentials and decided to mine crypto? That's just the universe teaching you about environment variables and backend authentication the hard way.

Back From Leave
Programming Security Debugging
21 days ago 97.9K views 0 shares
Back From Leave
THE ABSOLUTE BETRAYAL of your own brain when you return from vacation! There you are, staring at the login screen for the tool you've supposedly used EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. of your professional existence, and suddenly—POOF!—your password has vanished from your memory like it was thrown into the fires of Mount Doom! Your fingers hover over the keyboard in a pathetic dance of desperation while your colleagues watch your soul leave your body. The walk of shame to IT for a password reset is the modern developer's walk of atonement. And don't even get me started on when you finally get in and can't remember how a single function works! The AUDACITY of our brains to take PTO when we do!

Don't Shoot, I'm Your DBA! (Until You Ask For Proof)
Databases Security Devops Programming
22 days ago 87.1K views 0 shares
Don't Shoot, I'm Your DBA! (Until You Ask For Proof)
The eternal standoff between developers and DBAs in their natural habitat. When disaster strikes, suddenly everyone's a "DBA" until they're asked to prove it by showing who has those coveted production database credentials. Nothing exposes an impostor faster than asking them to actually fix something in prod. That moment when you realize your "database expertise" consists entirely of SELECT statements you copied from Stack Overflow... just accept your fate.

The Unpaid Intern's Farewell Gift
Security Devops Git Programming Backend
1 month ago 91.1K views 0 shares
The Unpaid Intern's Farewell Gift
Ah, the classic parting gift from an unpaid intern - committing the API key directly to the .env file in their final act of corporate sabotage. Nothing says "thanks for the experience" like leaving a production credential in the version control history. Future security auditors will speak of this moment with reverence.

The Million Dollar API Key Giveaway
Security AI Programming Python Backend
1 month ago 103.0K views 0 shares
The Million Dollar API Key Giveaway
Congratulations! You've just launched a security breach disguised as an AI startup! The "yellow line" isn't a bug—it's your IDE screaming in terror because you've hardcoded API keys directly in your source code. Nothing says "professional developer" like publishing your AWS, Supabase, OpenAI, and custom API credentials to the entire internet. Those aren't just strings—they're golden tickets to your infrastructure that now belong to everyone with an internet connection. Pro tip: when speedrunning bankruptcy, this is definitely the optimal strategy!

How To Sleep (Or Not)
Security Devops Git Cloud
1 month ago 122.4K views 0 shares
How To Sleep (Or Not)
Brain: "Hey you goin' to sleep?" Dev: "Yes, now shut up" Brain: "You committed the API Keys to a public repo" Nothing jolts a developer from the edge of sleep like remembering they accidentally pushed sensitive credentials to GitHub. That moment when your brain reminds you that your AWS keys are now visible to every bot scraping public repos, and your company credit card is about to fund someone's crypto mining operation in Siberia. Sweet dreams!

Million Dollar Security, Five Cent Password
Security Devops Programming
1 month ago 96.6K views 0 shares
Million Dollar Security, Five Cent Password
Companies spending millions on fancy security programs only to have some exec use "admin/admin" as their credentials is the digital equivalent of installing a bank vault door on a cardboard box. The CISO builds this elaborate security fortress while some VP is basically leaving the keys under the doormat. And the best part? When the inevitable breach happens, guess who gets blamed? Not the genius who thought "admin" was a password that would stump hackers from 1995.

Having A Website (Or Having Your Credentials Stolen)
Security Webdev AWS Debugging Backend
1 month ago 142.2K views 0 shares
Having A Website (Or Having Your Credentials Stolen)
Top panel: "Oh look at my cute little website with its adorable traffic spike at 7pm!" Bottom panel: *Cold sweat intensifies* Someone's trying to access every single .env file, config, and AWS credential on your server. Nothing says "welcome to the internet" quite like watching hackers systematically probe your site's defenses while you realize your security is about as robust as a chocolate teapot. Pro tip: if your logs look like this, you're not having a website - a website is having you.

The Comma Sabotage Strategy
Security Programming Databases
1 month ago 112.8K views 0 shares
The Comma Sabotage Strategy
Ah, weaponizing CSV parsing vulnerabilities—the chaotic neutral approach to security. Adding commas to your password is like putting a tiny landmine in a data breach. When hackers eventually dump the database and try to process it as a CSV file, those commas will shift all the columns and utterly destroy their neat little spreadsheet of stolen credentials. It's both brilliant and completely unhinged. Like sure, your account is still compromised, but at least you've ruined some hacker's day with unexpected field separators. The digital equivalent of putting glitter in an envelope—technically not stopping the crime, just making it way more annoying to commit.

Would You Hire Him
Programming Git StackOverflow
2 months ago 102.1K views 0 shares
Would You Hire Him
Nothing triggers impostor syndrome quite like scrolling through GitHub and finding Luigi here with dual CS degrees from an Ivy League school, 3500 followers, and probably a contribution graph that looks like a Manhattan skyline. Meanwhile, you're still struggling to center a div and your most impressive achievement is fixing a bug by restarting your computer. The cherry on top? He's probably 22 and already has FAANG offers while you're surviving on Stack Overflow copypasta and praying nobody reviews your code too carefully. But hey, at least you know how to exit Vim... sometimes.