Bad practices Memes

Posts tagged with Bad practices

License To Deploy

License To Deploy
The secret agent of technical debt! Just like James Bond leaves a trail of explosions behind him, this developer leaves a trail of production bugs. No comments, no documentation, and 7 critical issues that somehow made it past QA. The name's Code... Bad Code. Licensed to deploy straight to production without peer review.

Finished It Before Friday!

Finished It Before Friday!
Ah, the sweet victory of technically functional code! Sure, those 13,424 warnings are basically your compiler screaming in existential horror, but did it crash? No. Did it compile? Yes. And in the professional software world, that's what we call "production ready." Future you will absolutely hate past you when those warnings evolve into runtime errors at 2 AM on a Sunday, but that's a problem for future you. Right now, you're basically a coding genius who just beat the deadline. Ship it!

When Regex Meets HTML: A Lovecraftian Horror Story

When Regex Meets HTML: A Lovecraftian Horror Story
What we're witnessing here is the legendary Stack Overflow answer that spawned a thousand nightmares. This unhinged masterpiece isn't just explaining why you can't parse HTML with regex—it's having a complete existential breakdown about it. The answer starts reasonably enough before descending into cosmic horror territory with gems like "HTML and regex go together like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide" and "Z̸̯̀A̸̯̿L̸̯̀G̸̯̿Ò̸̯ IS COMING." It's basically the programming equivalent of "don't feed the Mogwai after midnight" except with more eldritch abominations. And honestly? The answer is technically correct. Using regex for HTML parsing is like performing surgery with a chainsaw—theoretically possible but guaranteed to end in tears and therapy sessions.

The Worst Possible Way Of Declaring Main Method

The Worst Possible Way Of Declaring Main Method
When your code reviewer spots that unholy abomination of a main method declaration in your pull request. That if (name__ == "__main__"): check is standard Python boilerplate, but seeing it written with those underscores and that formatting is like witnessing someone eat cereal with a fork. It's technically functional, but fundamentally wrong on every level. The kind of code that makes senior developers wake up in cold sweats at 3 AM.

Vibecoding Is The Future

Vibecoding Is The Future
Who needs formal programming languages when you can just post verification codes on social media? Apparently, "vibecoding" means skipping the IDE and letting 435841 become your new function. Security experts are having heart palpitations right now while hackers are sending thank you cards. Next revolutionary paradigm: programming by accidentally leaking your passwords in GitHub commits.

Added "Security"

Added "Security"
Ah yes, the pinnacle of security: "Let me just ask this AI if your SQL injection attack looks suspicious." It's like putting a security guard at the bank entrance who needs to call his mom before deciding if the guy in the ski mask with a gun is a threat. The best part is storing the DB credentials right there in plain text. Nothing says "enterprise-grade security" like exposing your entire database to anyone who can read code.

My API Is Overengineered

My API Is Overengineered
Behold, the pinnacle of security theater! First, let's expose our database directly through an API endpoint because REST is "too complex." Then, let's sprinkle in some AI validation using GPT to check if SQL queries are safe—because regular expressions and parameterized queries are just so last decade . Nothing says "I'm a 10x developer" quite like importing five different packages, exposing your database credentials in plaintext, and asking an AI if DROP TABLE users; seems fishy. The cherry on top? That 403 error when the AI says no—as if hackers will politely accept rejection and go home. SQL injection protection via AI prompt? Congratulations, you've invented a security vulnerability with a carbon footprint!

Stop Over Engineering (And Start Over Exploiting)

Stop Over Engineering (And Start Over Exploiting)
Nothing says "I trust my users completely" like letting them run raw SQL queries directly against your production database. This code is basically saying "Here's the keys to my database kingdom, please don't DELETE FROM users WHERE 1=1." It's the digital equivalent of leaving your front door wide open with a sign that says "Please don't steal anything." Security teams everywhere just felt a disturbance in the force, as if millions of injection vulnerabilities suddenly cried out in terror.

I Love Optimization (That Makes Security Experts Cry)

I Love Optimization (That Makes Security Experts Cry)
Ah, the "optimization" that makes security professionals wake up screaming! This tweet is showcasing the database equivalent of putting all your eggs in one extremely flammable basket. Sure, they reduced storage from 100GB to 3GB by centralizing all passwords with foreign key references. But they've also created the ultimate security nightmare - one breach and all passwords are compromised. Not to mention they're enabling password reuse, which is like using "password123" as your bank PIN, email password, and nuclear launch code. That 97GB reduction is going to cost them approximately $10 million in breach notification costs. Such efficiency!

Same Bugs New Repo

Same Bugs New Repo
Ah, the classic "fresh start" delusion. Developer sees their old project infested with bugs (those cute green gremlins), and thinks starting a new project will somehow magically solve everything. Then proceeds to literally copy-paste chunks of the old code—bugs and all—into the new project. The box even says "THIS SIDE UP" upside down because reading documentation was never our strong suit. Ten years of experience has taught me that no matter how clean the new repo looks, those bugs are just waiting for their chance to emerge... usually right before a demo to the client.

How To Ruin Your Weekend

How To Ruin Your Weekend
The AUDACITY of that finger hovering over the deploy button on a Friday! 💀 Nothing says "I hate myself and everyone around me" quite like pushing code right before the weekend. That finger is literally ONE PRESS away from turning your peaceful Saturday morning into a hellscape of emergency Slack notifications and your boss calling you while you're trying to enjoy your cereal. The weekend-ruining potential is just *chef's kiss* magnificent. It's like setting your future self on fire for the mild convenience of not waiting until Monday!

The Unpaid Intern's Parting Gift

The Unpaid Intern's Parting Gift
Ah, the classic revenge of the unpaid intern! When your company thinks exposure is a valid form of payment, but you're leaving with something far more valuable—their API key. Nothing says "thanks for the experience" quite like committing sensitive credentials to a public repository on your way out. It's the digital equivalent of taking the office stapler, except this one could cost them thousands in unauthorized AWS charges. Remember kids: proper credential management isn't just good practice, it's also why you should probably pay your developers.