Bad practices Memes

You Don't Need Environment Variables

6 hours ago 39.5K views 0 shares

The absolute madlad who hard-codes their API keys directly into the front-end JavaScript where anyone can see it with a quick inspect element. Security? What's that? Just a suggestion, like speed limits and code comments. Nothing says "I trust the internet" like broadcasting your AWS credentials to every single visitor. Next level: storing passwords in plaintext because "hashing is just extra work."

Debugger Dev

Debugging Programming Testing

2 days ago 54.3K views 0 shares

The eternal struggle between primitive and proper debugging techniques. Sure, a debugger exists, but why use sophisticated tools when you can just carpet bomb your code with print() , console.log() , or System.out.println() statements? It's like having a perfectly good hammer but choosing to bang screws in with your forehead instead. The sheer chaotic joy of littering your codebase with print("HERE1") , print("HERE2") , print("WHY GOD WHY") is apparently irresistible. The funniest part? We all know those print statements will somehow make it to production. Because nothing says "professional software engineer" like users seeing DEBUG: ENTERING LOOP ITERATION 47 in their console.

It Works On My Machine And I Refuse To Investigate Further

Programming Devops Debugging Testing

4 days ago 83.2K views 0 shares

It Works On My Machine And I Refuse To Investigate Further

The classic developer mantra in its final form. The building is literally being held up by a series of desperate else if statements—just like that legacy codebase nobody wants to touch. Sure, it hasn't collapsed yet , but one strong breeze (or edge case) and the whole thing comes crashing down. But hey, ship it to production anyway! Nothing says "technical debt" quite like architectural support beams labeled with conditional logic. The best part? Some poor soul will inherit this masterpiece and wonder why there's no documentation explaining why the 17th else if is load-bearing.

Security Engineer's Worst Nightmare

Security Programming

6 days ago 59.2K views 0 shares

A physical password logbook? In 2023? Might as well put your house keys under the doormat and call it "advanced security." This floral notebook is basically a burglar's dream journal - all your digital keys neatly organized in one convenient, stealable package. The security equivalent of storing nuclear launch codes on a Post-it note stuck to your monitor. Meanwhile, every security engineer who sees this just died a little inside. Seven years of implementing zero-trust architecture and someone's grandma is keeping her banking password next to her Pinterest login in a cute little book from Target.

Select All... And Watch Your DBA Cry

Databases Programming Debugging Backend

6 days ago 54.1K views 0 shares

Oh. My. God. The DRAMA between DBAs and developers is sending me! 💀 Developer: "I'll just grab EVERYTHING with SELECT * and sort it out later!" DBA: *literally PUSHING the developer toward a cliff* "SPECIFIC COLUMNS ONLY YOU MONSTER!!!" And this, children, is why your database queries take 8 years to run. The SELECT * wildcard is basically asking the database to hand over its entire life story when all you needed was its name and phone number. Performance? Never heard of her!

Ultimate Dirty Talk (For Database Nightmares)

Databases Security Programming Backend

9 days ago 74.4K views 0 shares

Ultimate Dirty Talk (For Database Nightmares)

Oh sweet summer child... whispering about raw SQL without parameterization is like admitting you leave your front door wide open in a neighborhood of SQL injection attacks! The first panel seems seductive until the horrified reaction in the second panel hits. Every database admin just felt a cold shiver down their spine. It's basically saying "I enjoy living dangerously by concatenating user input directly into my queries" which is the digital equivalent of juggling chainsaws while blindfolded. Bobby Tables sends his regards!

That's One Way To Do It

Git Webdev Devops Programming Debugging

9 days ago 69.1K views 0 shares

Oh. My. God. The EVOLUTION of code sharing has reached its FINAL FORM! 🧠✨ First, we have GitHub - the BARE MINIMUM of human intelligence. Then Google Drive - slightly more evolved but still tragically basic. Taking PICTURES of your code? Honey, that's the digital equivalent of a cave painting! But the ABSOLUTE GALAXY BRAIN MOVE? Reading your code aloud and publishing it as an audiobook on Amazon! I am DECEASED! 💀 Imagine debugging by listening to someone dramatically narrate their if-else statements like it's Shakespeare! Next week: interpretive dance of your codebase streamed live on Twitch. I simply cannot with this industry anymore!

How To Get Fired In One Easy Step

Security Webdev Devops Javascript Frontend

13 days ago 77.8K views 0 shares

The worst security advice ever wrapped in a cute anime package! Hardcoding your API keys directly in your frontend JavaScript is like leaving your house keys under the doormat with a neon sign pointing to it. Any curious user can just pop open DevTools, check the Network tab or source code, and boom—free access to your services! That $20,000 AWS bill because someone found your S3 credentials and decided to mine crypto? That's just the universe teaching you about environment variables and backend authentication the hard way.

The Corporate Dictator's Coding Method

Programming Debugging

15 days ago 64.3K views 0 shares

The ultimate power move: writing your entire program in the comments section like you're dictating to a room of terrified junior devs. No IDE. No version control. Just raw intimidation and questionable life choices. Bonus points if you're wearing a suit while doing it. The perfect intersection of "I'm too important to write my own code" and "I don't trust any of you to understand my vision without me spelling it out character by character."

Sounds A Bit Simple

Programming Security Algorithms Javascript Python

16 days ago 83.7K views 0 shares

Ah, the duality of random number generation! The top panel shows the proper way—importing libraries like random , time , or os to generate proper pseudo-random numbers with good entropy. The bottom panel reveals the chaotic evil approach—hardcoding your "random" generator without external input, which is basically just saying return 4 because it was randomly chosen by fair dice roll. Guaranteed to be random! The twisted face in the second panel perfectly captures the deranged energy of a developer who thinks Math.floor(Math.random() * 6) + 1 is too much work and opts for const getRandomNumber = () => 4; instead. Cryptographers are screaming somewhere.

The Pythonic Way To Give Your Coworkers Trust Issues

Python Security Programming Debugging

18 days ago 80.5K views 0 shares

The Pythonic Way To Give Your Coworkers Trust Issues

Ah yes, the forbidden Python technique: dynamic imports with globals injection . Because why use normal imports when you can write code that makes your security team have nightmares? This beautiful disaster is bypassing Python's import system by directly manipulating the global namespace. It's like breaking into your own house through the chimney when you have perfectly good keys in your pocket. The regular expression module "re" is just sitting there wondering why it got dragged into this abomination. Meanwhile, some poor code reviewer is probably questioning their career choices right now.

Another Smart Move

Programming Devops C++ Javascript Python

21 days ago 93.4K views 0 shares

Ah yes, the presidential decree of bad programming practices. Nothing says "Make Software Great Again" like starting arrays at 1 (a crime in most programming languages), using only global variables (the radioactive waste of code), and deploying untested code straight to production on a Friday (the ultimate "I hate my weekend" power move). It's basically an executive order to create job security through chaos. Ten years of debugging later, you'll still be finding remnants of this administration in your codebase.

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