Bad practices Memes

Posts tagged with Bad practices

The Four Horsemen Of Infuriating One-Liners

The Four Horsemen Of Infuriating One-Liners
Ah, the apocalyptic quartet of syntax that makes developers question their career choices! Double equals comparing to true is like wearing socks with sandals - technically works but why would you do that? Just use the boolean directly! The null check with ?? that shows up uninvited in every codebase like that one relative at family gatherings who keeps asking why you're still single. Double exclamation marks on booleans - because apparently one wasn't dramatic enough to convert values to boolean. It's the coding equivalent of saying "REALLY REALLY" to emphasize your point. And that empty for loop with just a semicolon? Pure chaos. The kind of code that makes senior devs develop eye twitches during code reviews. These four horsemen don't just signal the end of readable code - they're the reason why Stack Overflow exists.

PowerPoint: The Database Of Nightmares

PowerPoint: The Database Of Nightmares
Just when you thought your tech nightmares couldn't get worse, someone decides PowerPoint is a viable database solution. For those wondering, "Turing complete" means PowerPoint can theoretically compute anything a normal computer can—which is both impressive and a horrifying justification for database abuse. Next up: using Excel as an operating system and Notepad as a load balancer. The screams you hear are from the DBA down the hall.

The Last Day Deployment Sabotage

The Last Day Deployment Sabotage
The ultimate power move in software development: merging code directly to production on your last day. Nothing says "peace out" like bypassing all those pesky tests and code reviews when the consequences are officially Someone Else's Problem™. It's the digital equivalent of setting a dumpster fire and walking away in slow motion while putting on sunglasses. The best part? That serene smile knowing you'll be unreachable when the Slack notifications start exploding tomorrow.

What Drove You To Madness?

What Drove You To Madness?
The asylum of programming sins is now accepting new patients! Left to right, we have the poor soul who thought regex was a sensible XML parsing solution (narrator: it wasn't), the delusional dev who reinvented the wheel with a custom date/time library (because clearly, humanity hasn't solved that problem in the last 50 years), and finally—the pièce de résistance—the screaming maniac who blindly copy-pasted AI-generated "fixes" straight into production. The padded walls of this code asylum are the only things keeping these developers from harming themselves or others with more terrible technical decisions.

At This Point Bro Is Just Looking For New Ways To Fail

At This Point Bro Is Just Looking For New Ways To Fail
The classic "I'll fix my broken code by switching to a no-code platform" saga. This guy's app is falling apart because his cursor is apparently sentient and malicious. Instead of learning secure coding practices, he's jumping to Bubble - the equivalent of bringing a Fisher-Price toolset to fix a nuclear reactor. Then when called out, responds with "why aren't you positive?" which is developer-speak for "please validate my terrible decisions." Truly the software development equivalent of trying to put out a fire with gasoline and wondering why everyone's screaming instead of applauding.

Is There A Better Way To Do This

Is There A Better Way To Do This
Ah, the classic "let me check every possible capitalization pattern" approach! This developer is manually checking for true , True , TRue , TRUe and then the same for false variants instead of just using toLowerCase() once and comparing to a standard value. The function even returns maybe if neither pattern matches, which is both hilarious and terrifying for Boolean logic. Somewhere, a computer science professor is feeling a disturbance in the force. This is the kind of code that makes code reviewers develop eye twitches and start muttering "string.toLowerCase() === 'true'" in their sleep.

The Nuclear Option: Force Push To Main

The Nuclear Option: Force Push To Main
Ah, the infamous --force flag. The digital equivalent of "hold my beer and watch this." Tom and Jerry covering their eyes perfectly captures that moment when you override Git's safety mechanisms and push directly to main. You know it's wrong. Your team knows it's wrong. But deadlines, am I right? The best part is that split second after hitting Enter where you're simultaneously hoping nothing breaks while mentally drafting your resignation letter. It's that special flavor of developer recklessness that separates the cowboys from the professionals. And yet, we've all been there at least once.

Sorting Algorithm For Your Next Coding Interview

Sorting Algorithm For Your Next Coding Interview
The infamous "sleep sort" algorithm—where your array gets sorted by setting timeouts based on each value. The smaller numbers wake up first, the bigger ones hit snooze longer. Technically it works (sort of), but try explaining this beauty in a coding interview and watch the interviewer's soul leave their body. "It's O(max(array)) time complexity, sir!" Absolute chaos masquerading as computer science. The perfect algorithm if your requirements include "must be completely unreliable" and "please never use in production."

This Works Don't Worry About It

This Works Don't Worry About It
Ah yes, the classic "assign string values to boolean variables and then use them in boolean expressions" approach. Nothing like setting true = "false" and false = "true" to ensure your future self has a mental breakdown during debugging. The condition if(true/false==false/true) is just *chef's kiss* - comparing divisions of strings masquerading as booleans. And that true = false + false line? String concatenation disguised as addition in a boolean context. Whoever wrote this probably also enjoys putting pineapple on pizza and using spaces instead of tabs.

Showing My Friend My Foolproof Parse Int Method

Showing My Friend My Foolproof Parse Int Method
The eternal struggle between doing things right and doing things that work. Instead of using parseInt() or Number() like a civilized developer, this mad genius is just removing the quotation marks with replaceAll() to convert a string to a number. It's the coding equivalent of using a hammer to screw in a lightbulb - horrifying yet somehow it works. The face on the left is every senior dev witnessing this crime against programming humanity, while the face on the right is the junior who's just proud they "solved" the problem without reading the docs.

URL Parameters: The Ultimate Security Protocol

URL Parameters: The Ultimate Security Protocol
Look at that URL parameter: isGina=false . Some developer really said "let's just hardcode user identity in the query string" and called it a day. Security through obscurity at its finest! Next time Gina forgets her password, she just needs to hack the URL to isGina=true and boom—instant access. Who needs authentication when you can just tell the system who you are? Somewhere a security engineer is having a panic attack while the intern who wrote this is proudly adding "implemented user authentication system" to their resume.

Code Change Vs Database Change

Code Change Vs Database Change
Behold! The most accurate depiction of development reality ever drawn by human hands! On the left, your code change workflow - majestic, detailed, robust like a thoroughbred horse ready for battle. And then there's your database change workflow - a pathetic stick figure abomination that looks like it was drawn by a caffeinated toddler with a crayon. We spend YEARS perfecting our code deployment pipelines with tests, CI/CD, and version control while our database migrations are basically "run this SQL and pray to the data gods it doesn't destroy production." The AUDACITY of us calling ourselves professionals while treating our precious data like this! 💀