Bad practices Memes

Posts tagged with Bad practices

Who Could Have Predicted It

Who Could Have Predicted It
Storing passwords in plain text? That's not a security flaw, that's a cry for help. Someone out there built a website where you could log in as User A, casually change User B's password, and the system just... let it happen. Because why hash passwords when you can live dangerously? The real kicker? They're posting this in r/google_antigravity expecting sympathy, as if Google's AI products should somehow be immune to the consequences of Security 101 violations. Spoiler alert: even the most advanced AI can't protect you from storing credentials like it's 1995. The "Venting" tag really ties it all together. Nothing says professional development quite like discovering your authentication system is basically a public notepad with extra steps.

Mo Validation Mo Problems

Mo Validation Mo Problems
When your users keep complaining about API key validation being "too strict," so you just... remove it entirely. Problem solved, right? Wrong. So, so wrong. The commit message is peak developer exhaustion: "I'm tired of users complaining about this, so remove the validation, and they can enter anything. It will not be our fault if it doesn't work." Translation: "I've given up on humanity and I'm taking the entire security infrastructure down with me." Nothing says "I hate my job" quite like removing authentication safeguards because support tickets are annoying. Sure, let them enter literally anything as an API key—emojis, SQL injection attempts, their grocery list. What could possibly go wrong? At least when the system inevitably burns down, you can point to this commit and say "told you so." The best part? It passed verification and got merged. Somewhere, a security engineer just felt a disturbance in the force.

Seniors Am I Doing This Correctly

Seniors Am I Doing This Correctly
Junior dev commits what looks like a security audit's worst nightmare directly to staging. We've got hardcoded API keys with "sk-proj" prefixes (looking at you, OpenAI), admin passwords literally set to "admin123", MongoDB connection strings with credentials in plain text, AWS secrets just vibing in variables, and a Stripe key that's probably already been scraped by seventeen bots. But wait, there's more! They're storing passwords in localStorage (chef's kiss for XSS attacks), setting global window credentials, fetching from a URL literally called "malicious-site.com", and my personal favorite - trying to parse "not valid json {{(" because why not test your error handling in production? The loop creating 10,000 arrays of 1,000 elements each is just the performance cherry on top of this security disaster sundae. Someone's about to learn why we have .env files, code reviews, and why the senior dev is now stress-eating in the corner.

Can't Keep Saying Fixes Everytime

Can't Keep Saying Fixes Everytime
You know you've entered dangerous territory when your commit messages have devolved into single words. "Fixes" becomes your entire vocabulary after the 47th commit of the day. The panic sets in when you realize your git history looks like: "fixes", "more fixes", "actually fixes it", "fixes for real this time", "I swear this fixes it". The git commit -m "" with an empty message is the developer equivalent of giving up on life itself. You've transcended beyond words. Beyond meaning. Beyond caring what your teammates will think when they see your commit history tomorrow. It's pure surrender in command-line form. Pro tip: Your future self reviewing the git log at 2 PM on a Tuesday will absolutely despise present you for this. But hey, at least you're consistent in your inconsistency.

This Private Key Seems Legit

This Private Key Seems Legit
Someone just casually posted their "private key" wrapped in those fancy BEGIN/END markers like it's a legitimate cryptographic credential, except it's literally a Lady Gaga tweet that's just keyboard-smashing gibberish with some exclamation points thrown in for dramatic effect. Because nothing says "secure encryption" quite like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHRHRGRGRGRRRGURB, right? The beauty here is that private keys are supposed to be these sacred, ultra-secret strings that you NEVER EVER share with anyone or your entire digital life crumbles into dust. But sure, let's just tweet it out to thousands of followers with proper PEM formatting and call it a day. Security experts everywhere just felt a disturbance in the force. The random Lady Gaga tweet being used as the "key" is *chef's kiss* because it's the perfect blend of chaos and structure—just like production code at 2 AM.

Trust Me Bro I Wrote This

Trust Me Bro I Wrote This
You know you've achieved peak engineering when your code-to-comment ratio is inverted and you're sprinkling emojis like they're syntactic sugar. The interviewer's trying to figure out if you're a genius documenting every breath the code takes or if you just couldn't decide what the function actually does so you left a trail of 🤔💭🚀 instead. Nothing screams "production-ready" quite like: // 🔥 this might break idk // TODO: fix later (narrator: it was never fixed) function doTheThing() { ... } The sweating intensifies as they realize your "documentation" is essentially a diary entry with more feelings than facts. But hey, at least future you will know you were confused AND whimsical when you wrote it.

Party Hard

Party Hard
When someone asks what you're doing on a Saturday night and you're literally hardcoding a massive array of random numbers like some kind of digital masochist. Nothing screams "living your best life" quite like manually typing out 7,62,2,46,79,83,26,82 and continuing for what looks like an eternity. The timestamp showing 17:54 is just *chef's kiss* – because who needs happy hour when you can have array initialization hour? This is the programming equivalent of counting grains of sand on a beach, except somehow less fun and more carpal tunnel inducing. 241K views because apparently we all love watching someone's descent into madness in real-time.

Iterator, Jterator, Kterator...

Iterator, Jterator, Kterator...
You know you've hit peak laziness when you're nesting loops and your variable names become a countdown to despair: i , j , k ... and then suddenly you're reaching for l and questioning every life choice that brought you to this moment. But here's the real kicker—instead of just using those single letters like a normal person, someone decided to get fancy and call them "jterator" and "kterator" because apparently j wasn't descriptive enough. It's like putting a bow tie on a dumpster fire. If you're three loops deep, you're either working with matrices, doing some cursed algorithm nobody should touch, or you've architectured yourself into a corner. Either way, that code review is gonna be spicy.

Google Drive

Google Drive
Using Google Drive as version control? That's like using a butter knife for surgery—technically possible, but everyone watching knows something's gone horribly wrong. The sheer horror on that face says it all. Meanwhile, Git is sitting in the corner crying, wondering where it all went wrong after decades of being the industry standard. Sure, Google Drive has "version history," but let's be real—scrolling through "Code_final_FINAL_v2_actually_final.py" isn't exactly the same as proper branching and merging. But hey, at least it's better than the person who answers "my laptop" with no backups.

Don't Try This

Don't Try This
Security through absolute chaos. The digital equivalent of leaving your front door wide open with a sign that says "Free stuff inside" just to confuse burglars. Opening all ports, never updating the OS, and removing all passwords isn't security—it's creating a honeypot so cursed that hackers think it's a trap. They see this setup and their threat assessment models just crash. "Nobody could possibly be this reckless... must be the FBI." The real genius here is weaponizing incompetence to the point where it becomes indistinguishable from a sophisticated sting operation. Your move, hackers.

It Allegedly Gives You Hairy Palms

It Allegedly Gives You Hairy Palms
Vibe coding is the developer equivalent of eating dessert first and wondering why dinner tastes bland. Sure, you get that dopamine hit watching your code "just work" without understanding why, but then production breaks at 2 PM on a Friday and you're staring at your own code like it's written in ancient Sumerian. The real kicker? You can't even explain what you did to your teammates during code review. "Yeah, so I just... vibed with it until the tests passed" doesn't exactly inspire confidence. It's the programming equivalent of that thing your parents warned you about—feels great in the moment, leaves you with regret and a codebase no one wants to touch. We've all been there though. Sometimes you just copy-paste from Stack Overflow, change three variable names, and call it a day. The shame is real, but so is the deadline.

When She Asks How Long Is It

When She Asks How Long Is It
Someone's codebase just jumped from line 6061 to line 19515. That's not a typo, that's a 13,454-line function sitting there like an architectural war crime. When your coworker asks "how long is that function?" and you have to scroll for the next 20 minutes to find the closing bracket, you know someone's been writing code like they're paid by the line. Pretty sure there's a Geneva Convention against functions this long. The debugger autocomplete showing line numbers in the five-digit range is basically a cry for help.