How Come When I Left A Backdoor They All Lost Their Shit

Behold, the pinnacle of security theater! First, let's expose our database directly through an API endpoint because REST is "too complex." Then, let's sprinkle in some AI validation using GPT to check if SQL queries are safe—because regular expressions and parameterized queries are just so last decade . Nothing says "I'm a 10x developer" quite like importing five different packages, exposing your database credentials in plaintext, and asking an AI if DROP TABLE users; seems fishy. The cherry on top? That 403 error when the AI says no—as if hackers will politely accept rejection and go home. SQL injection protection via AI prompt? Congratulations, you've invented a security vulnerability with a carbon footprint!

Forget customer service tickets—real engineers deploy unauthorized penetration testing. Some Bengaluru dev lost his luggage, got the standard "we'll look into it" corporate response, and decided his SQL injection skills were the appropriate escalation path. Nothing says "I've reached my breaking point" like bypassing authentication protocols to find your missing underwear. Honestly, it's just efficient problem-solving. Airlines spend millions on security, but nothing motivates a breach like a missing toothbrush and that one good shirt you packed.

Every junior dev thinks they've invented encryption when they discover Base64. The number of times I've had to explain that encoding ≠ encryption is probably why my hair's thinning. Base64 is just fancy dress for your data – anyone can undress it with zero effort. It's like hiding your house key under the doormat and calling it a security system. And the response is always the same: "Fine! I'll just use Base128 then!" Sure buddy, throw more digits at the problem. That'll fix it. Just like how writing your password in bigger letters makes it more secure.

Dropping the 's-word' in Linux circles is basically flashing your admin credentials. For the uninitiated, sudo is the command that grants you god-like powers over a Unix system—letting you execute commands with superuser privileges. The joke here is brilliantly playing on how saying "sudo" casually is so powerful it might as well be reproductive. Unix nerds know the thrill of that moment when you type sudo and the system bends to your will. It's the digital equivalent of wielding Thor's hammer. No wonder she's shocked—you just flexed your ability to modify literally anything on the system without permission!

Just another day in network troubleshooting. Forget fancy tools—all you need is to yell IP addresses into the void. The IT person immediately responds with their subnet mask, like a Pavlovian response to hearing numbers in that format. Can't help it. It's hardwired into our brains after years of config files and ping tests. The knife is just for dramatic effect... or maybe cable management.

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of modern development! First frame: "Vibe Coding" - that blissful state where you're just writing whatever feels right, no tests, no reviews, just pure coding ecstasy! ✨ Second frame: *puts on glasses* "VULNERABILITY AS A SERVICE" - SUDDENLY you can see the horrifying security nightmares lurking in your beautiful code! It's like getting dressed for a hot date only to realize you've been wearing a "HACK ME PLEASE" t-shirt the entire time! 💀 The glasses of reality are BRUTAL, honey! One minute you're living your best coding life, the next you're basically running an all-you-can-exploit buffet for hackers!