Gotta Go Fast: The 2FA Time Trial

Remember when we'd hunt for game cracks to bypass those pesky CD checks? This genius is applying that same energy to literal fighter jets ! 😂 The F-35 apparently needs regular license verification like it's some overpriced Adobe software, and this person's solution is straight from the 2000s piracy playbook. Just search "F-35 NO-CD crack" and boom—military-grade DRM bypassed! Next thing you know they'll be downloading more RAM for the Pentagon's computers. Piracy... uh... finds a way. 🏴‍☠️

Ah yes, the classic "we broke something essential so now you need our premium feature" strategy. Vercel basically saying "Hey, our static generation doesn't work with security? Have you tried... not using static generation and paying us instead?" 🤔 For the uninitiated: CSP (Content Security Policy) is a crucial security feature that helps prevent attacks like XSS. But apparently making it work with static generation was too much trouble, so the solution is "just use our dynamic rendering instead!" Which, coincidentally, costs more money. What a shocking coincidence! It's the tech equivalent of a mechanic breaking your brakes then suggesting you buy a parachute.

Regular running? That's for peasants who accept "permission denied" errors. But sudo ? That's like showing up with a samurai sword and an army of ninjas to your command line. Nothing says "I'm done asking nicely" like prefixing your command with sudo . It's the Linux equivalent of bringing a tank to a knife fight. The system says no? Not anymore it doesn't. Turns out administrative privileges aren't just given—they're taken, preferably while wearing a cool hat and wielding dual katanas.

Ah, the "optimization" that makes security professionals wake up screaming! This tweet is showcasing the database equivalent of putting all your eggs in one extremely flammable basket. Sure, they reduced storage from 100GB to 3GB by centralizing all passwords with foreign key references. But they've also created the ultimate security nightmare - one breach and all passwords are compromised. Not to mention they're enabling password reuse, which is like using "password123" as your bank PIN, email password, and nuclear launch code. That 97GB reduction is going to cost them approximately $10 million in breach notification costs. Such efficiency!

Honey, grab the popcorn! We've got a group claiming they can overthrow the government but can't even secure their database! 🍿 The absolute AUDACITY of having "Department of Government Efficiency" with a dollar sign logo while exposing their database to the world is just *chef's kiss* ironic perfection. Nothing says "trust us with national security" quite like a glaring "THESE 'EXPERTS' LEFT THEIR DATABASE OPEN" warning plastered across your fake government site. If your coup's cybersecurity strategy is equivalent to leaving your front door wide open with a neon "PLEASE ROB ME" sign, maybe reconsider your career in overthrowing democracy? Just saying! 💅

Oh look, it's the compiler we all secretly want but are too afraid to admit! The "AI C Compiler" (aicc) is basically what happens when you combine a programmer's desperation with their unwillingness to learn proper memory management. Instead of fixing your semicolons and memory leaks like a responsible adult, just throw your garbage code at ChatGPT and pray! "Will your code compile? Will it be fast or slow? Will it have memory leaks?" Who knows! It's like playing Russian roulette with your codebase, except all chambers are loaded and the gun is pointed at your production server. The best part? You don't even need to understand what you're doing anymore! Just make vague gestures at your requirements and let AI figure it out. Programming degree? Waste of money. Stack Overflow? Ancient history. Just whisper sweet nothings to the machine and watch it spit out code that's probably better than yours anyway.