Working In A Large Corporation Is A Place Where You Get Paid For

Congratulations on your corporate developer position! Your six-figure salary now compensates you for the thrilling adventures of:

• Spending 3 hours waiting for IT to grant you access to a system you need for 5 minutes of work
• Sitting through meetings that could've been emails while secretly coding your side project
• Mastering proprietary tools built by someone who left 7 years ago with zero documentation
• The exhilarating cycle of changing a button from blue to slightly-less-blue, then back again because "the VP didn't like it"
• Rearranging JSON only to put it back exactly how it was because "there's a bug somewhere"
• Frozen in carbonite during release freezes while your productivity slowly suffocates
• Teaching interns how to use tools you barely understand yourself
• Changing passwords every 30 days to increasingly complex combinations that you'll inevitably store in a text file called "definitely_not_passwords.txt"

But hey, the coffee's free! (When the machine works.)