Bureaucracy Memes

Posts tagged with Bureaucracy

The Infinite Time-Tracking Loop
Agile Devops Programming
5 days ago 61.5K views 1 shares
The Infinite Time-Tracking Loop
Ah, the infinite recursion of corporate time tracking. You're spending so much time documenting your hours in Jira that you need to document the time spent documenting time... and then document that time too. It's the bureaucratic equivalent of a stack overflow, except your sanity crashes first. Eight years into my career and I've started estimating "Jira maintenance" as its own task. 2 hours per sprint just to update tickets that tell management what I'm doing instead of, you know, actually doing it. The real joke? Somewhere there's a product manager using this data to optimize workflows. Irony, thy name is enterprise software.

We Are Behind On Our Sprint Goals! We Need To Hire Another Solutions Architect!
Agile Devops Programming
24 days ago 72.8K views 0 shares
We Are Behind On Our Sprint Goals! We Need To Hire Another Solutions Architect!
Ten people standing around watching one developer dig a hole. Classic enterprise development in its natural habitat. The lone coder does all the actual work while a small army of managers, architects, and stakeholders provide their essential service of... standing there. Adding another solutions architect would definitely fix that sprint backlog. Maybe they can architect a solution for how to hold a shovel.

Jira Fans Issue Is Now Work Item
Agile Devops Programming Testing
1 month ago 85.5K views 0 shares
Jira Fans Issue Is Now Work Item
Atlassian just solved all our problems by renaming "Issue" to "Work Item" in Jira! Because clearly what's been holding back our sprint velocity isn't technical debt or unrealistic deadlines—it's terminology . Next sprint they'll rename "bugs" to "unexpected features" and our code will magically fix itself! Meanwhile, developers everywhere are updating their résumés to include "Work Item Resolution Specialist" instead of "Issue Fixer." That'll definitely boost our market value by at least 0.00001%.

Im Glad They Sorted This They Must Have Been Paying Millions For Those Vscode Liscences
Devops Programming
1 month ago 85.5K views 0 shares
Im Glad They Sorted This They Must Have Been Paying Millions For Those Vscode Liscences
Government efficiency at its finest! 🤣 Paying for 250 VSCode licenses when only 33 are being used is peak bureaucracy! The best part? VSCode is literally FREE for everyone else on planet Earth! It's like buying 250 tickets to breathe air and then only using 33 of them. Tax dollars hard at work buying premium versions of stuff that's already free! And don't get me started on those 380 Microsoft 365 licenses with ZERO users. Someone's getting a performance bonus for this stellar resource management!

All Security Wants In Return Is To Bring Dev Into Compliance
Security Devops Programming Testing
1 month ago 92.2K views 0 shares
All Security Wants In Return Is To Bring Dev Into Compliance
The eternal battle between security teams and developers rages on! Security wants SAML (Security Assertion Markup Language) implemented in a dev environment that's literally called "isolated" for a reason. The developer's response? A middle finger and an offer to enable 2FA on static accounts—which is like putting a state-of-the-art lock on a cardboard box. It's the perfect encapsulation of the security-versus-convenience standoff that happens in every enterprise. Security folks wanting Fort Knox protocols for sandboxes while developers just want to ship code without jumping through seventeen authentication hoops for an environment where the worst thing you could leak is test data shaped like "foo" and "bar".