When Your Hobby Code Becomes Business Critical

Content You finally get a good paying job! Project23112020

Content Einstein when he was 22 Me at 22 Discovers relativity, mass energy equivalence photoclectric effect, confirms existence of atom mathematically Why is this array's index getting out of bounds?

Content 10:22 40 45 Thread Kelly Vaughn g in X kvlly His palms are sweaty Knees weak, arms are heavy The unit tests are failing already Code spaghetti He's nervous, But at his laptop he looks calm and ready To squash bugs But he keeps on forgetting 4:47 30 Aug 19 Twitter for Android 106 Retweets 494 Likes Tweet your reply

When HR says they need a "rockstar developer" but the actual code is just a poetic love algorithm. The irony is palpable—companies demand 10x developers with 15 years of React experience but end up having them write code that's basically digital Shakespeare. Forget optimizing databases; you're optimizing romance variables where "desire = 7" and "longing = 3". The perfect job for those who majored in Computer Science with a minor in Unrequited Love. Next interview question: "Can you implement heartbreak in O(1) time?"

Content GOT THE PRINCESS! HOW TO SAVE THE PRINCESS BY O toggl USING 8 PROGRAMMING Goon SqUAD LANGUAGES YOU HAVE JAVASCRIPT YoU SPEnD HOURS PICKING LIBRARIES, SETTING UP NODE BUILDING A FRAME WORK FOR THE CASTLE. BY THE TIME YouR FINISHED WITH THE FRAME WORK THE FORT HAS BEEN ABANDONED AND THE PRINCESS HAST MOVED TO ANOTHER CASTLE YOU HAVE YOU HAVE A LIBRARY FOR A CASTLE A LIBRARY FOR THE PRINCESS - CHARGE! YOU RESCUE ThE PRINCESS HER DOG, HER ENTIRE WARDROBE EVERYTHING SHE HAS EVER EATEN... FUCK - DID I FORGET NULL -TERMINATOR YOU HAVE C YOU SPEND HOURS TRYING TO EXPRESS THE ENTIRE RESCUE IN A SINGLE LINQ QUERY YOU GIVE UP AND GO TO STACKOVERFLOW TO HAVE JON SKEET RESCUE THE PRINCESS FOR YOU. YoU HAVE JAVA YOU QUICKLY DEPLOY THE RESCUE TO PRODUCTION YOU DISCOVER YOU'vE LOADED TWO VERSIONS OF THE CASTLE BUT NO PRINCESS YoU HAVE LISP YOU HAVE GO WE DON'T SUPPORT FREEING CAPTURED PRINCESSES, WE ALREADY HAVE THESE FREE PRINCESSES IN THE STANDARD LIBR... WAIT, IS THIS THE PRINCESS FROM THE JAVA PANEL YOU HAVE PASCAL YOU DECLARE YOUR PRINCESS CASTLE RESCUE PLAN THEN YOU GO FOR A DRINK FORGET ABOUT THE IMPLEMENTATION YOU HAVE PHP YOU HAVE TO RESCUE THE PRINCESS... ... IN PHP. MART VIRKUS '16 toggl

Content first day at a new job and other devs use a framework you are not familiar with, but you lied on your resume