What Shutdown? We Don't Do That Here

Shutdown? What shutdown? My laptop has been running continuously since the Obama administration. The only time it restarts is when Windows forces an update while I'm in the middle of debugging a critical production issue. My uptime isn't measured in hours or days—it's measured in git commits and coffee cups. Closing the lid is just putting it into hibernation mode so I can transport my 47 open Chrome tabs, 12 VS Code windows, and that one terminal where I've been running a script for so long I'm afraid to touch it to my next location. Shutting down is for people who don't have nightmares about losing their terminal history.