Stress, Hell No

From moon landings to being trapped in Vim—what a downgrade! The 1960s programmer stands tall with actual documentation and the audacity to claim they'll conquer space, while 2025's version is just a doge meme begging for help to escape an editor that's been around since 1991. Modern devs have ChatGPT, StackOverflow, and Spotify, yet still can't figure out how to type ":q!" without a Reddit thread. Progress? I think not. The only thing we're flying to these days is the coffee machine between debugging sessions.

Ah yes, the classic developer job listing that thinks Docker, JVM, and "third-party APIs" are exciting tools. Nothing gets a developer's blood pumping like integrating with yet another poorly documented API that changes without notice every three weeks. The sarcastic "CAN'T WAIT" reaction perfectly captures the enthusiasm gap between HR's idea of "exciting tools" and what developers actually find exciting. Sure, I'll spend my days wrestling with Docker permission issues and JVM heap sizes while pretending this is my dream job.

Content when you finally fix a bug but then realize the bug has just become smarter

The classic programmer bedtime ritual: say goodnight to your partner at 11 PM like a responsible adult, then immediately boot up Geometry Dash the second they fall asleep. Because nothing says "healthy work-life balance" like grinding through impossible platformer levels until the birds start chirping. The progression here is beautiful—midnight hits and they're still going strong, by 3 AM they've entered the zone where time becomes meaningless and muscle memory takes over. Meanwhile, their partner is peacefully dreaming, blissfully unaware that their significant other is one failed jump away from throwing their mechanical keyboard through the monitor. Fun fact: Studies show that 87% of programmers have convinced themselves that "just one more level" at 2 AM will somehow improve their debugging skills the next day. Spoiler alert: it won't, but at least you'll have sick reaction times during your morning standup when you're running on 3 hours of sleep and pure caffeine.

Content JUST FINISHED MY PROJECT YOU WILL DELETE UNUSED IMPORTS RIGHT? YOU WILL DELETE THEM RIGHT? nottip.com

Content blind I was on a large org meeting and went off camera to accept an offer over phone. I realized midway through that I was unmuted and the entire engineering org heard me accept another job offer (roughly 300 people. Am I ducked? My manager hasn't said anything yet. Edit: I was kicked out of the meeting and realized after the phonecall was over (the meeting was still ongoing, it was at the halfway point I realized. Edit 2: Manager scheduled a meeting today (day after). Edit 3: I was fired, effective immediately. ProdrammerHumor.io