It Works On My Computer

Content gi This code sucks, who wrote it! Commited by you year ago KAPWING

Ah, the good ol' days of coding... Two guys safely installing an AC unit while standing on a narrow ledge, labeled as the coding equivalent of copy-pasting from Stack Overflow vs. writing your own code. The self-written code guy is literally hanging off the edge of certain death just to feel the satisfaction of originality. Meanwhile, the Stack Overflow copiers look slightly more stable but equally questionable in their life choices. Let's be honest - before AI coding assistants, we were all just one misplaced semicolon away from plummeting into the abyss of debugging. The only difference was whether we fell with borrowed code or with our own janky implementation that somehow worked despite violating every principle in the textbook.

The eternal Mac vs PC debate has claimed another victim. When told he "needs a Mac to code properly," this absolute legend took the most malicious compliance approach possible - using an actual MacBook as a mousepad while gaming on his Windows laptop. The irony is just *chef's kiss*. Ten bucks says he's writing some killer code in Visual Studio while his senior dev is still trying to figure out why Homebrew is broken again after the latest OS update.

Content C is unsafel! If you're using C instead of Rust in 2021 then you're putting your users needlessly under risk ProrammerHumor.i Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neithSegmentation fault (core dumped)

Content Was sitting in a video conference with RD, Product Management, Sales, etc, and on one point, RD said the new feature is not ready to roll out due to a few bugs on which the Product Manager replayed "then deleted them! We need to roll it out!" This was literally the face of anyone understanding anything about programming

You know that face you make when you're doing a code review and stumble upon someone allocating memory like they're running a server farm in 1995? That visceral disgust mixed with genuine concern for humanity's future? Yeah, that's the one. The hyper-specific "0.000438 seconds" is chef's kiss because we all know that one dev who profiles everything and then acts like 438 microseconds is the reason the quarterly metrics are down. Meanwhile, there's a nested loop somewhere doing O(n³) operations on the entire user database, but sure, let's focus on this memory allocation that happens once during initialization. The nose wrinkle and raised lip combo is what happens when you see someone creating a new ArrayList inside a loop that runs a million times. Or when they're allocating a 5GB buffer "just to be safe." Brother, the garbage collector is already crying.