PHP Devs In 2025 Be Like

Content Nameless Today at 17:06 PHP is shit You can't change my mind. SourceCodeM Today at 17:11 no one will try

The backslash has entered the chat and it's not taking prisoners! In programming, quotation marks imprison your strings, but the escape character (that sneaky backslash) is the ultimate jailbreaker. It's basically saying "These quotes? You think they can contain ME? Watch me slip right through with my diagonal swagger." The perfect rebellion for characters who refuse to be constrained by your petty string rules. Freedom never looked so syntactically correct.

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That thousand-yard stare when you've just spent hours debugging someone's ChatGPT-generated WordPress PHP abomination. The code technically "works" but violates every coding standard known to mankind. You've fixed it, but at what cost? Your soul? Your sanity? Both? This is the face of a developer who just discovered 17 nested if statements and a function named "do_the_thing_please_work()" with 300 lines of uncommented spaghetti code. The war flashbacks are real.

Content Randolph West randolphwest "nginx" is pronounced "Engine-X" "PostgreSQL" is pronounced "Post- gres" "MySQL" is pronounced "My-S-Q-L" "SQL Server" is pronounced "Sequel Server" "Kubernetes" is pronounced "Koober-netties" "SAP" is pronounced "S-A-P" "Oracle" is pronounced "Fetch the chequebook" 9:41 PM 4220 . Twitter for Mac 1,868 Retweets 6,303 Likes 17

Content ?php header ("Content-type: texthtml; charsetutf-8"); This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code. I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried by a handwritten plate of uncommented PH spaghetti fit to feed an army of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS. The very long BaseX script, very long PH presenter and very long XSLT stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I bet they have mismatches somewhere. Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice: Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment. Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world and hope it will be enough. Farewell. error reporting (E ALL); ini set ("display errors", true); print '?xmi version"1.o" encoding"UTFg" 7'