The Ultimate Developer Nightmare

Content yeff yephph Follow What does this even mean to me v Hello Jeffrey, Unfortunately due to company policy, we are unable to offer positions to people with the name Jeffrey since it will not work with our database schema 1:03 AM - 12 Apr 2020 4,740 Retweets 59,001 Likes

Content FBI FBI Google O how to use explode and die Google O how to use explode and die in php

Content Java C Programmers Python Programmers whatever the hell PHP programmers are trying to do 152 SRGRAFO

Content Clive Thompson pomeranian99 I'm bored of URL shorteners, so I'm gonna start using snipeyhead and mikelacher's "Shady URL": shadyurl.comcreate.php It takes any normal URL and turns it into something that looks like it'll click through to a super-dodgy site crawling with syphilitic javascript 100 ShadyURL Don't just shorten your URL, make it suspicious and frightening. http:www.clivethompson.net is now http:www.528.infocreditscorec1x4qqinitdownload Try another 4:45 pm 24 Sep 2020 Twitter Web App 43 Retweets 8 Quote Tweets 175 Likes

Content ?php header ("Content-type: texthtml; charsetutf-8"); This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code. I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried by a handwritten plate of uncommented PHP spaghetti fit to feed an army of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS. The very long BaseX script, very long PHP presenter and very long XSLT stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I bet they have mismatches somewhere. Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice: Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment. Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world and hope it will be enough. Farewell. error reporting (E ALL); ini set("display errors" true); print('?yml version"1.0" encodina" TF.8" ?' "n"):?

Content It savs here that vou have 18 vears of exerience and have fantastic references, and that you have designed and develobed four rulv reatured broiects that were successfully deployed and generated tens of millions of dollars, you have lead multiple teams, and that you have extensive experience in everything we are looking for - except I don't see React.js here. Have you ever used React? Only for personal projects. It's really just a simple Ul tramework and I am very familiar with it thoug Go fuck yourself! You don't have any professional experience, but it looks like you went to a 3-month coding boot camp. Did they cover React.js? You're hired! Oh veah. I've heard that word before! After that boot camp now I can say I'm an expert in React, C, C, Delphi, Diango, Rust, MongoDB, MS SQL Server, Flask, Express.is, Vue.js, Laravel, Angular, Web2Py, FastAPI, Meteor, Bottle, JQuery, Angular, Symfony, Svelte, Jam.py, ASP.NET, Apache, Sails, spring MVC, Zend, YI, Cake, Moo, Python, Kotlin, R. PHP, Go, Swift, VB, MATLAB, Scheme, Racket, Cloiure, Lisp, COBOL, Alice, AWK, Bash, Clean, Cecil, CoffeeScript, Cybil, Kodu, Ladder, Logtalk, JADE, J, Maude, LINQ, Modula, Octave, Orwell, Nemerie, Zeno, X10, WebASM, Umple, TAL, TCL, Scala, Sed, Strand, SBL, Turing, ROOP, QPL, PROMAL, Orc, Oriel, Nu, NPL, MVstic, Mutan, Mercury, Mesa, MOO, ASM, PostaressOL MySQL, SQLite, InterBase, Advantage, Ingres, Raima, FileMakerPro, Access, H2, Firebird, Windows, Unix, Android, macos, Linux, Centos, Ubuntu, OpenS ProDOS, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid Donner, Blitzen, and Rudolph. COCKSOFT INC. Cyanide and Happiness Explosm.net