PHP Is Like A Zombie

Content JavaScript Teacher jstut 2h Your resume: Git SSL Vue CSS PHP Sass Node DOM React HTML CRUD MERN MEVN MEAN Netlify Mongo MysQL Python Docker Angular Fortnite GraphQL Full Stack JAMstack JavaScript TypeScript Kubernetes PostgreSQL Interview decision: Sorry we need someone who knows AWS. 58 11 195 694

Content JavaScript 65 PHP 60 Try it Yourself How To Create a Skill Bar Step 1) Stop immediately. Abandon any desire to create a skill bar. What the fuck is 90 PHP anyway?

Turning down a high-paying job with great benefits because it involves PHP? That's what I call principled poverty . The real moral dilemma isn't the adult content site—it's having to tell people at parties that you're a PHP developer. Some developers would rather live in a cardboard box than add that language to their LinkedIn profile. Standards before salary, folks!

The secret weapon of PHP developers is hiding in plain sight! While Java and C# devs party together oblivious to the danger, our lonely PHP dev stands in the corner with the ultimate string manipulation superpower. In PHP, the dot (.) operator concatenates strings, while other languages use the plus (+) sign—which can cause all sorts of type conversion headaches. The PHP dev is basically a string-exploding wizard while the statically-typed language folks are busy high-fiving each other. It's like bringing a nuclear bomb to a knife fight and nobody even noticed!

Content JAVASCRIPT IS COUNTER-STRIKE COOL BUT GETS WORSE THE MORE YOU UNDERSTAND C IS DARK SOULS You'rE KIlleD BY THE TUTORIAL BOll IF PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES WERE GAMES toggl KOTLIN IS TETRIS BUILT BY COMMUNISM, RUNS ON CAPITALISM HASKELL IS DUNGEONS DRAGOnS IT WOULD BE COOL IF YOU ACTUALLY STARTED PLAYING C IS TIC-TAC-TOE EASY, UNLESS YOU'RE PLAYING AGAINST THE MACHINE JAVA IS DOOM RUnS ON 3 BILlioN DEVICES PERL IS HIDE-AND-SEEK DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU'RE HIDING, BECAUSE NO ONE IS LOOKING SWIFT IS MONOPOLY A LESSON IN CORPORATE GREED ASSEMBLY IS A COUPLE OF NAILS AND A PLANK YOU CALL IT "LEGO" PHP IS AN ELEPHANT BEATING You TO DEATH WITH A PADDLE -BALL DART IS THE GAme YoU LOST.

Content BUT ThE PRINCESS! HOW TO SAVE THE PRINCESS BY O toggl USING 8 PROGRAMMING Goon SquAD LANGUAGES YOU HAVE JAVASCRIPT YoU SPEnD HOUrS PICKING LIBRARIES SETTING UP NODE BUILDING A FRAME WORK FOR THE CASTLE. BY THE TIME YoUrE FINIShED WITH THE FRAMEWORK THE FORT HAS BEEN ABANDONED AND THE PRINCESS HAS MOVED TO ANOTHER CASTLE YOU HAVE YOU HAVE A LIBRARY FOR A CASTLE A LIBRARY FOR THE PRINCESS - CHARGE! YOU RESCUE THE PRINCESS HER DOG, HER ENTIRE WARDROBE EVERYTHING SHE HAS EVER EATEN... FUCK - DID FORGET NULL -TERMINATOR YOU HAVE C YOU SPEND HOURS TRYING TO EXPRESS THE ENTIRE RESCUE IN A SINGLE LINQ QUERY YOU GIVE UP AND GO TO STACKOVERFLOW TO HAVE JON SKEET RESCUE THE PRINCESS FOR YOU. YoU HAVE JAVA YoU QUICKLY DEPLOY THE RESCUE TO PRODUCTION YOU DISCOVER YOU'vE LOADED TWO VERSIONS OF THE CASTLE BUT NO PRINCESS YoU HAVE LISP YoU HaVE Go WE DON'T SUPPORT FREEING CAPTURED PRINCESSES, WE ALREADY HAVE THESE FREE PRINCESSES IN THE STANDARD LIBR... ... WAIT, IS THIS THE PRINCESS FROM THE JAVA PANEL YOU HAVE PASCAL YOU DECLARE YOUR PRINCESS CASTLE RESCUE PLAN THEN YOU GO FOR A DRINK FORGET ABOUT THE IMPLEMENTATION YoU HAVE PuP YOU HaVE TO reScUE THE PRiNCESS... IN PHP.. MART VIRKUS '6 toggl