The String Splitting Identity Crisis

Content ?php header ("Content-type: texthtml; charsetutf-8"); This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code. I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried by a handwritten plate of uncommented PH spaghetti fit to feed an army of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS. The very long BaseX script, very long PH presenter and very long XSLT stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I bet they have mismatches somewhere. Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice: Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment. Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world and hope it will be enough. Farewell. error reporting (E ALL); ini set ("display errors", true); print '?xmi version"1.o" encoding"UTFg" 7'

Content LEARN PROGRAMMING FROM RPROGRAMMERHUMOR JOKES PRETEND TO UNDERSTAND RPROGRAMMERHUMOR JOKES AND LAUGH HYSTERICALLY AT WORDS LIKE "PHP" EVENTHOUGH YOU ARE ILLITERATE, CAN'T EVEN READ AND IUST RECOGNIZE THE GIYPHS

Content Me: starts programming without writing pseudocode first My university: Wait, That's illegal.

Content When PHP programmers browse rProgrammerHumor

Content yeff yephph Follow What does this even mean to me v Hello Jeffrey, Unfortunately due to company policy, we are unable to offer positions to people with the name Jeffrey since it will not work with our database schema 1:03 AM - 12 Apr 2020 4,740 Retweets 59,001 Likes

Content Clive Thompson pomeranian99 I'm bored of URL shorteners, so I'm gonna start using snipeyhead and mikelacher's "Shady URL": shadyurl.comcreate.php It takes any normal URL and turns it into something that looks like it'll click through to a super-dodgy site crawling with syphilitic javascript 100 ShadyURL Don't just shorten your URL, make it suspicious and frightening. http:www.clivethompson.net is now http:www.528.infocreditscorec1x4qqinitdownload Try another 4:45 pm 24 Sep 2020 Twitter Web App 43 Retweets 8 Quote Tweets 175 Likes