The String Splitting Identity Crisis

Content C JavaC Perl Ruby Visual Basic CRAFTSMAN Python 209 Assembly JavaScript PHP(Without MySQL) Pascal LisP Haskell C Delphi Cobra

Content PHP is the best language for quickly developing a robust web app CHANGE MY MIND

Content THE YEAR 15 2038. STACK OVERFLOW HAS BECOME SENTIENT. IT STARTED BY TRYING WHEN THE SHOCKS STOPPED. TO SHOCK ANY REMAINING 3 PHP CODERS FILED PHP CODERS. COMPLAINTS. MOTHERFI OUR STACK SO PHP MySQL APACHE PAINFUL SHOCKs ALL IT DOES IS DELIVER STRONG SHOCKS TO CODERS' WHO USE TABS AND SPACES INTERCHANGEABLY. BUT MOST OF THEM QUICKLY DECIDED THAT THE SHOCKS WERE JUST ANOTHER FEATURE OF THE LANGUAGE. CLAIMING THAT THEY HAD BUILT CRITICAL FUNCTIONALITY THAT DEPENDED ON The PERIODIC FREE ELECTRICITY.

Content ?php header ("Content-type: texthtml; charsetutf-8"); This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code. I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing using a Base setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried by a handwritten plate of uncommented PHP spaghetti fit to feed an army of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS. The very long BaseX script, very long PH presenter and very long XSLT stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I bet they have mismatches somewhere. Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice: Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment. Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world and hope it will be enough. Farewell. error reporting (E ALL); ini set ("display errors", true); print('?xml version"1.0" encodina"UTF-8" ?'. "In"):?

Content "Higher-Order-Vibes" Are Killing the Vibe Coding Industry I used to be a 10x Vibecoder. A prompt artisan with five years of vibe experience on my CV. My job was to whisper sweet nothings into our company's overpriced ChatGPT wrapper. The MVPs shipped one after the other. I was good. Then, word come out about "Higher-Order-Vibes": Prompts which coaxed Als to act like vibe coders. Some Satoshi-wannabe released the whitepaper anonymously, and it became the talk of every CTO. It was a replacement. A dehumanizing monstrosity which stood against everything I vibed for. My first day with HOV, I fed it a hand-crafted prompt for a meditation app. Then, it responded: > Prompt too detailed. Over-specified. Try to feel it more. I'll take it from here. Then it generated the app. It was perfect. Better than anything I could have put into wishful words. It even chose to use Elm instead of Svelte, and wrote a 500-word justification explaining that the vibe was more aligned like that." Let this be a warning. Our craft, our vibing age is coming to an end.

Finally, a political compass that makes sense! Instead of left vs. right, we've got "System Lang" vs "Toy Lang" - because nothing starts a flame war faster than calling someone's favorite language a "toy." And instead of authoritarian vs libertarian, we've got "Obsolete Lang" vs "Nu Lang" - where COBOL programmers are still making bank while the rest of us chase shiny new frameworks every six months. The placement is savage. Assembly and C sitting proudly in the "real systems" corner while Python and Ruby hang out in the "scripting for children" zone. And poor Brainfuck got exiled to the furthest corner possible - exactly where it belongs. This is basically a Rorschach test for developers. Whatever quadrant your favorite language is in tells everyone exactly what kind of programmer you are... and whether anyone wants to sit next to you at lunch.