Server-side Memes

Posts tagged with Server-side

I'll Be Backend

I'll Be Backend
A Terminator-style execution of JavaScript heresy. Claiming JS is the best for backend is the fastest way to get your developer card revoked. Node.js enthusiasts will insist it's "actually good now" while the rest of us silently judge them from our compiled language fortresses. The mom clearly hasn't experienced the joy of async callback hell at 2AM when production is burning.

Am I Still Alive?

Am I Still Alive?
The eternal zombie of web development strikes again! PHP continues to shamble along despite countless "PHP is dead" articles published every year since approximately 2005. The language that powers 77% of all websites somehow persists through constant ridicule, security concerns, and syntactical oddities that would make any CS professor weep. Yet there it is, running WordPress, Facebook, and probably your company's legacy codebase that nobody wants to touch. Its survival skills are unmatched - like a cockroach after nuclear winter, PHP simply refuses to die.

The Invisible Architecture

The Invisible Architecture
Backend developers living the dream with their dual-monitor setup... where both screens face the wall. Who needs to see users or design mockups when you can stare at a blank wall and pure terminal output all day? The perfect metaphor for backend work—just like our code, our screens remain invisible to the end user. Bonus points for the hoodie uniform—because nothing says "I handle your data but don't want to be perceived" quite like it.

Backend All The Way

Backend All The Way
Unimpressed with trivial physical achievements, but instantly captivated by the mention of a backend developer. Because who needs muscles when you can handle server load? The only squats that matter are SQL queries bringing databases to their knees.

Stop And Get Help This Is Not Right

Stop And Get Help This Is Not Right
The anime child starts cute and concerned, begging you to stop scrolling. Then transforms into a dead-eyed, traumatized sysadmin with one simple message: "Stop using JavaScript on Server." It's the perfect visualization of what happens when innocent developers discover Node.js and suddenly think running JavaScript on the backend is a good life choice. The soul-crushing reality hits about three months into production when your memory leaks like a colander and async callbacks nest deeper than your existential dread.