Priorities Memes

Posts tagged with Priorities

Rounded Corners Before Rounded Bellies
Frontend Webdev React Programming
19 hours ago 74.8K views 0 shares
Rounded Corners Before Rounded Bellies
The generational divide is real. While our parents were confidently starting families at 27, we're over here having existential crises about border-radius values. Nothing says "I've got my life together" quite like chain-smoking through the night while debating if 8px or 12px rounded corners will make or break your UI. Who needs the responsibility of raising a child when you can agonize over CSS properties until 4am? The true millennial lifecycle: birth, education, career, button styling anxiety, retirement.

The Eternal Tech Distraction Syndrome
Backend AI Devops Programming Python
2 days ago 64.3K views 0 shares
The Eternal Tech Distraction Syndrome
Backend engineers getting distracted by shiny machine learning tech while production bugs silently judge them from behind. Tale as old as git. We all swear we'll fix that NullPointerException right after we finish this "quick" TensorFlow tutorial that's only been open in a browser tab for 47 days.

Be Like John: Master Of Productive Procrastination
Programming Agile Debugging Testing
6 days ago 77.4K views 0 shares
Be Like John: Master Of Productive Procrastination
When faced with actual work, the programmer's brain immediately activates its highest priority function: procrastination.exe . Nothing says "I'm being productive" quite like spending four hours restructuring code that already works while your actual tasks multiply in the background. The refactoring rabbit hole—where deadlines go to die and meetings get mysteriously "forgotten." The beautiful irony is that we genuinely convince ourselves it's necessary work. "I can't possibly fix those bugs until I've rewritten this entire class using the latest design pattern I read about 20 minutes ago!"

Priorities Sorted (By Executive Golf Outings)
Agile Devops Programming
9 days ago 67.8K views 0 shares
Priorities Sorted (By Executive Golf Outings)
Ah, the sacred corporate hierarchy in action. VP of Sales mutters something about a feature, and suddenly the entire dev roadmap gets thrown out the window. Never mind the months of planning, user research, or that critical security patch—some executive who just returned from a golf outing with a prospect has spoken. The PM's face says it all: dead inside but still professionally nodding. This is why we drink.

It Should Be The Highest Priority
Agile Devops Programming
9 days ago 69.1K views 0 shares
It Should Be The Highest Priority
When management discovers the word "priority," suddenly everything becomes one. The top image shows Buzz Lightyear proudly announcing a high-priority feature, while the bottom reveals the grim reality: shelves stacked with identical Buzz figures, each representing yet another "critical" feature that absolutely must ship this sprint. Nothing says "agile development" quite like having 47 P0 tickets in your backlog. Truly a masterpiece of modern project management.

He Found You
Debugging Devops Programming Testing
10 days ago 90.0K views 0 shares
He Found You
Oh look, it's the guilt-inducing golden retriever who somehow knows you're scrolling through Reddit instead of fixing that critical bug due tomorrow. Nothing like a judgmental dog nose pressed against your screen to remind you that your code is on fire while you're busy upvoting cat pictures. The dog doesn't care about your "it works on my machine" excuse — he can literally smell your procrastination from across the internet. Better close this tab before your project manager develops the same superpower.

The Selective Optimization Syndrome
Gamedev Security Programming Debugging
12 days ago 69.9K views 0 shares
The Selective Optimization Syndrome
The duality of programmer perfectionism is a beautiful thing to behold. Top left: spending 47 hours meticulously organizing virtual factories in Factorio with conveyor belts that would make Marie Kondo weep tears of joy. Top right: obsessing over system architecture diagrams until your eyes bleed because "IT MUST BE PERFECT." Meanwhile, bottom left: the actual code you're paid to write has security so weak it might as well be a "Please Don't Hack Me" sticky note. Password literally hardcoded as "Password"? *chef's kiss* Bottom right: villain from a silent film declaring "MY JOB HERE IS DONE" because hey, it compiles and passes that one test you wrote! The optimization is clearly happening in all the wrong places. But the code runs in production, so... ship it!

Average Performance Of My Brain While Debugging
Debugging Windows Programming
22 days ago 57.3K views 0 shares
Average Performance Of My Brain While Debugging
The human brain: allocating 23% CPU and 2.4GB of RAM to thinking about sex, 8% to lunch plans, and a measly 2.4% to actually finding that seg fault. Meanwhile, writing documentation and unit tests are running in the background with 0% CPU utilization. Priorities perfectly aligned for maximum debugging inefficiency. The real kicker? Those embarrassing memories from 2007 somehow consuming 1.2GB of memory that could've been used to solve the actual problem. But hey, at least "Incoming Bowel Movement" is only using 0.1% CPU - small victories.

Gaming Rig Moonlighting As Parking Attendant
Hardware Programming
1 month ago 101.3K views 0 shares
Gaming Rig Moonlighting As Parking Attendant
That awkward moment when the parking payment kiosk has better specs than your work computer. Someone clearly repurposed a gaming rig with RGB lighting to process your $5 parking fee. Meanwhile, developers everywhere are still waiting for IT to approve that 8GB RAM upgrade request from 2019. Bet this thing mines crypto in its spare time between printing receipts. Probably runs Crysis at 120fps while you're fumbling for quarters.

Game Updates In A Nutshell: Priorities
Gamedev Unity Programming Testing Frontend
1 month ago 92.8K views 0 shares
Game Updates In A Nutshell: Priorities
Game devs be like: "Check out our new season with adorable pet companions and exclusive player skins!" Meanwhile, the UI that hasn't been updated since 2012 is literally a skeleton at the bottom of the ocean. And don't even get me started on those "new mechanics" drowning in the shallow end while everyone pretends not to notice. Classic case of "we fixed the cosmetic shop but forgot to fix the server that crashes every 20 minutes." Priorities, am I right?

Clean Code vs Deadline: A Project Manager's Nightmare
Programming Agile Debugging
1 month ago 76.3K views 0 shares
Clean Code vs Deadline: A Project Manager's Nightmare
When the deadline's breathing down your neck, suddenly writing clean code becomes an impossible luxury. The project manager's watching in horror as you smash that deadline button, leaving a trail of spaghetti code, magic numbers, and zero comments in your wake. "We'll refactor later," you whisper to yourself, knowing full well that "later" is programmer-speak for "never." The technical debt collectors will come knocking eventually, but hey—that's Future You's problem!

Building Features On A Foundation Of Bugs
Debugging Devops Agile Programming Testing
1 month ago 104.1K views 0 shares
Building Features On A Foundation Of Bugs
The foundation is literally underwater but the product manager still wants two more cars in the garage! Classic software development life cycle where the bug backlog is a rising flood and everyone's pretending it's fine. That one developer standing in the driveway is definitely thinking "I told them we needed proper error handling before implementing the OAuth integration." Meanwhile, the team is about to demo the shiny new features to stakeholders while praying nobody clicks that one button that makes everything crash.