My Life According To My Manager

The pun is strong with this one. Netcat (often abbreviated as 'nc') is a command-line utility used to read and write data across network connections. Port 80 is the standard port for HTTP web traffic. So what we have here is the literal interpretation: actual cats inside a computer case "listening" at port 80. The kind of joke that makes network administrators silently exhale through their nose while maintaining that thousand-yard stare developed after years of troubleshooting DNS issues.

The absolute NIGHTMARE of being a VPN user! You're just trying to access a website from a different country, and suddenly the internet gods demand you prove your humanity THREE SEPARATE TIMES! 😱 reCAPTCHA, hCaptcha, AND Cloudflare all ganging up on you like bouncers at an exclusive club who don't believe your ID. "Sir, can you please identify all the traffic lights in these 47 blurry images while we track your mouse movements and judge your clicking speed?" Meanwhile, your IP address is bouncing around so much these security systems think you're either a super hacker or a very confused toaster. The digital equivalent of being frisked at every doorway in a building!

The universal IT solution strikes again. While medical equipment keeping someone alive seems like it might warrant a more sophisticated troubleshooting approach than "turn it off and on again," you can't argue with the classics. Somewhere, a hospital administrator is updating their runbook: "Step 1: Reboot patient. Step 2: If patient doesn't respond, check if they're plugged in properly."

Left side: "Installing 40%. Please keep your computer on and plugged in. Your computer may restart a few times." Right side: "SERVER ACCESS UNAVAILABLE. Please check your network connection." Ah yes, Razer software—simultaneously demanding you stay connected while also failing to connect itself. It's like your coworker who insists on a meeting but never shows up. Schrödinger's installer: both installing and not installing until you observe the error message.

Everyone's having a normal day until that one developer casually SSH's into production as root. Nothing says "I choose chaos" quite like bypassing all security protocols and jumping straight into prod with admin privileges. Meanwhile, the kid who's probably responsible for this disaster is just sitting there with a smug grin, holding his juice box while the entire office has a collective heart attack. Security best practices? Never heard of 'em.

The classic "name all the bands" gatekeeping, but make it networking. Every CS student has that moment of panic when someone asks about the OSI model and suddenly you're frantically trying to remember if it's "Please Do Not Throw Sausage Pizza Away" or "All People Seem To Need Data Processing." Meanwhile, the gun just represents the networking professor's grading policy.