Onboarding Memes

Posts tagged with Onboarding

Exit Employee Sends His Regards
Programming Debugging Testing
1 day ago 164.6K views 0 shares
Exit Employee Sends His Regards
The digital time bomb has been planted! Nothing strikes fear into a dev team like inheriting undocumented spaghetti code from someone who just rage-quit. That first day at the new company hits different when you realize you're now responsible for deciphering cryptic variable names, nested if-statements that reach the earth's core, and functions that were clearly written at 4am after a Red Bull marathon. The previous dev left behind their "masterpiece" with zero comments except maybe a passive-aggressive "good luck" somewhere. Technical debt inheritance is the gift that keeps on giving!

Where Is Your Documentation
Programming Agile Debugging
10 days ago 64.7K views 0 shares
Where Is Your Documentation
Junior developer naively asks where the documentation is, only to be met with the team lead's menacing stare and declaration: "I AM DOCUMENTATION." The unspoken reality of tribal knowledge strikes again. The code base is a mystery wrapped in an enigma, passed down through oral tradition like ancient folklore. Documentation exists solely in the minds of those who've survived long enough to remember why that one function needs a random sleep(3) call.

The Cliff Of Career Advancement
Programming Webdev Agile Debugging
10 days ago 91.8K views 0 shares
The Cliff Of Career Advancement
Ah, the classic "career path" in tech—where senior devs push juniors off cliffs with nothing but a cheerful "You can do it!" and some links to Stack Overflow answers from 2011. The gap between "here's your promotion" and "here's some tutorials" is approximately the same as the gap between your confidence during the job interview and your first day actually writing production code. Nothing says "mentorship" quite like watching someone crash spectacularly into reality while you shout documentation links from a safe distance. Welcome to software development, where we don't have onboarding—we have gravity.

Upgrading Project From Stone Age To Vibe Era
Git Devops Javascript Programming
29 days ago 131.2K views 0 shares
Upgrading Project From Stone Age To Vibe Era
Nothing says "I'm here to help" like a junior dev submitting a PR that rewrites half the codebase before their first cup of office coffee. The message "init cursor" is the digital equivalent of "I fixed it" while the server room is on fire. Those 8,214 new files? Just dependency hell with a bow on top. Senior devs are already updating their resumes.

All The Senior Devs Are On Vacation
Programming Agile
1 month ago 81.5K views 1 shares
All The Senior Devs Are On Vacation
THE ABSOLUTE PANIC IN THAT JUNIOR DEV'S EYES! 😱 Nothing says "I'm completely unprepared for this responsibility" like being handed an intern when you're still trying to figure out where the bathroom is! It's the corporate version of asking someone who can barely swim to teach swimming lessons. The absolute AUDACITY of management to create this chain of blind leading the blinder while every competent developer is sipping margaritas on a beach somewhere. That poor intern is about to learn programming through the ancient technique of "frantically Googling together" - the unofficial bootcamp of tech companies everywhere!

Literally Any New Task Looks Like This
Programming StackOverflow Debugging
1 month ago 120.1K views 0 shares
Literally Any New Task Looks Like This
The sacred dev cycle: Junior asks how to do something, Senior says "read the docs," and the docs are just two arrows pointing at LEGO pieces. Perfect summary of technical documentation everywhere—either non-existent, outdated, or so minimalist it might as well be hieroglyphics. The worst part? Seniors genuinely believe those two arrows contain all the wisdom of the universe. Meanwhile, the junior's frantically Googling "how to understand documentation that doesn't explain anything" and preparing their StackOverflow question that'll get immediately closed as "too broad."

Welcome To The Trial By Fire
Programming Agile Debugging
1 month ago 104.8K views 0 shares
Welcome To The Trial By Fire
First day on the job and already discovering the company's sacred tradition: figuring out proprietary tools through trial, error, and existential dread. Documentation? That's just a myth we tell children to help them sleep at night. The real onboarding process is being thrown into the deep end while your manager watches with that special gleam that says "I suffered, so shall you."

You Get A Tech Job
Programming Debugging Testing
1 month ago 77.2K views 0 shares
You Get A Tech Job
Ah, the classic tech job descent into madness. First day: bright-eyed optimism. Then reality hits—"documentation? Just read the code." And what beautiful code it is—zero comments, variables named "tmp", "str", and "obj", all crammed into 2000-line monoliths written by developers who apparently believed typing out full variable names would summon ancient demons. It's like trying to decipher hieroglyphics, except the ancient Egyptians probably had better documentation standards.

Knowledge Transfer
Programming Agile Debugging
2 months ago 117.6K views 0 shares
Knowledge Transfer
The "knowledge transfer" session that happens when a developer gives their two weeks notice is basically just corporate theater. That frantic pointing at undocumented spaghetti code while trying to explain six years of technical debt in five meetings? Pure comedy gold. The best part is pretending anyone will remember any of it after you're gone. Spoiler alert: they won't. They'll just blame everything that breaks on "that guy who left" for the next three years.

Innocent New Developer
Programming Devops Debugging
3 months ago 84.0K views 0 shares
Innocent New Developer
Just like the sign says, the sidewalk ends... and so does your understanding of the codebase after the senior dev who wrote it quits without documentation. One minute you're walking confidently through clean code, the next you're staring at a concrete slab with nowhere to go except into the weeds of legacy code. That feeling when the tutorial ends and you have to figure out the rest yourself. Welcome to real-world development, kid!

Did You Complete Them: The Corporate Training Paradox
Programming Security Testing
3 months ago 109.9K views 0 shares
Did You Complete Them: The Corporate Training Paradox
Corporate training modules: the final boss of workplace tedium. First panel shows the truth—they're outdated, ineffective digital zombies that HR unleashes upon us. Second panel reveals the grim reality—we've all morphed into those expressionless NPCs, mindlessly announcing "completion" just to make them go away. The transformation is complete when you realize you've spent 4 hours clicking through a security training that could've been a single email saying "don't use 'password123'." The greatest fiction in software engineering isn't AI consciousness—it's pretending anyone actually learns from these things.

The Mythical Man-Month
Agile Devops Programming Testing
3 months ago 112.4K views 0 shares
The Mythical Man-Month
OH. MY. GOD. The absolute TRAGEDY of project management in its purest form! 💀 This comic is the most SAVAGE takedown of Brooks' Law ever - "adding manpower to a late software project makes it later." The manager's solution to missing deadlines? THROW MORE BODIES AT IT! Because CLEARLY nine women can make a baby in one month! 🙄 And the DELICIOUS irony of ending up FURTHER behind after onboarding the new devs? *chef's kiss* That's the cognitive dissonance that fuels the entire tech industry! The final panel with "maybe we need a bigger room" instead of, I don't know, ACTUALLY FIXING THE PROJECT MANAGEMENT ISSUES?! I'm deceased! 💀 Fun fact: "The Mythical Man-Month" is a legendary software engineering book from 1975 that basically said what every developer already knows but no manager will ever admit - throwing more people at a late project is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline!