We Are Also Feeding It Code

The sacred scrolls of tech support revealed! Every IT person's daily mantra consists of asking if it's plugged in (while silently judging your cable management), suggesting the universal fix of turning it off and on again, insisting you update your perfectly functional 3-year-old system, and when all else fails, dropping mysterious command line incantations like chkdsk and dism that might as well be summoning demons. The judgy cat represents every support person's internal expression while keeping a professional voice on the call. These five horsemen of tech support have solved approximately 99% of all computer problems since the dawn of time.

The unholy trinity of "rapid development" is on full display! The tweet claims Git, JavaScript, and Microsoft BASIC were all created in under a week—which is hilariously wrong and the perfect setup for the three-headed dragon meme below. Two fierce dragon heads represent Git and BASIC—powerful tools that required significant development time. But that third head? JavaScript with its derpy eyes and tongue sticking out perfectly captures how JS was indeed cobbled together in 10 days by Brendan Eich in 1995. Fun fact: Linus Torvalds spent months creating Git after the BitKeeper controversy, and BASIC took significant development at Microsoft. Meanwhile, JavaScript—despite being slapped together in a mad rush to compete with Java—somehow powers most of the modern web. Proof that sometimes the derpy dragon wins!

When your dating app and GitHub notifications start blending together... 😂 Dating sites promise "hot singles" but developers know the real satisfaction comes from those promiscuous codebases just begging for your refactoring skills. The Linux Kernel is young, eager, and only 3 miles away! Meanwhile, Emacs is that slightly older, sophisticated editor with strong opinions about parentheses. And Visual Studio? That's the young one with a "6 year guide" - clearly needs an experienced developer to show it the ropes. The only commitment issues worse than your ex's are legacy codebases that haven't been refactored since 2008.

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute TRAUMA of Windows API development summed up in one tragic epiphany! 😱 That moment when you wake up in a cold sweat with the horrifying realization that the documentation is your MORTAL ENEMY. It's like being told the cake is chocolate but biting into raisin instead! The poor soul tried using RIDEV_NOHOTKEYS flag with Raw Input because the docs SAID SO, only to discover what every Windows developer eventually learns through blood, sweat, and keyboard smashing - the documentation is where dreams go to DIE. It's not a bug, it's a feature...of the documentation itself! 💀

Content A digital billboard in Odessa malfunctioned, in the fog. Convincing unknown numbers of motorists not only were they living in the Matrix, but it was being run on Windows 98. ProgrammerHumor.

Content The source code of Windows' troubleshooting program has leaked 1 3 5 6 7 8 9 include windows.h include stdio.h int main printf("Searching for problems... In"); Sleep (60000) ; printf(We didn't find any problemsn")