Coding conventions Memes

Arrays Start At Zero, Not Wine

18 days ago 95.9K views 0 shares

The legacy of zero-indexing strikes again! While most humans count from 1, programmers know arrays start at 0 in most languages. This poor child's fate was sealed when mom insisted on starting her array at 1 instead of 0 during pregnancy. The result? A kid destined to commit the cardinal sin of programming—using 1-based indexing. It's basically hereditary at this point. That kid is going to grow up to be the colleague who writes for(i=1; i and makes everyone's eye twitch during code reviews.

Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn

Python AI Programming

24 days ago 80.9K views 0 shares

Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn

The challenge: "Offend a Data Scientist in one tweet." The response: Python import statements with all the wrong aliases. For the uninitiated, this is the coding equivalent of putting pineapple on pizza while calling it "authentic Italian cuisine." Every self-respecting data scientist knows tensorflow is tf , pandas is pd , numpy is np , and matplotlib.pyplot is plt . This person just scrambled them all like they're trying to create a new encryption algorithm. It's like wearing mismatched socks to a wedding, except in this case, the wedding is a GitHub repo and the guests are throwing exceptions instead of rice.

It's The Law For Coders!

Programming Csharp C++ Algorithms Javascript

25 days ago 96.0K views 0 shares

Listen, there are certain sacred traditions in coding that you just don't question. Using i and j as loop variables isn't a choice—it's practically written in the ancient scrolls of computer science. Passed down from the FORTRAN elders to every generation since. Try using pancake and waffle as your nested loop variables during a code review and watch your senior dev have an existential crisis. The programming gods will smite you with merge conflicts for the rest of eternity. Sure, we could use more descriptive variable names, but that would be... reasonable? And we can't have that. IT'S THE LAW!

The Default Letter

Programming C++ Algorithms Javascript Python

27 days ago 84.7K views 0 shares

The duality of programmer brain function is hilariously accurate here. For regular variables, it's absolute chaos - fighting over whether to use temp , result , or just mash the keyboard with myVar . But for iteration variables? The council has convened and unanimously decreed: "We shall use 'i' and nothing else." The formal ceremony of loop counter naming has remained unchanged since the ancient days of FORTRAN. Bonus points if you graduate to j for nested loops while feeling incredibly sophisticated.

The Double Standard Is Real

Programming Frontend Backend

1 month ago 65.6K views 0 shares

GASP! The AUDACITY of developers! 😱 Put an emoji in your actual code and suddenly everyone's acting like you've committed a war crime—sitting there all stoic and judging you with their dead, soulless eyes. But HEAVEN FORBID your terminal spits out a cute little emoji, and these same code purists transform into rabid sports fans, practically FOAMING at the mouth with excitement! Like, excuse me?! Where was this energy when I added a 💩 to mark that legacy function nobody wants to touch? The hypocrisy is just TOO MUCH to bear!

Come On Get Modern

C++ Programming Debugging

1 month ago 86.9K views 0 shares

Ah yes, the classic "it's 2025 but we're coding like it's 1989" scenario. Some professor is still forcing students to declare all variables at the top of the function like we're writing ANSI C89 standard code. Meanwhile, the variable name when_will_they_get_advanced = 0 is the silent scream of every CS student trapped in academic time capsules. The real joke is that while industry moved on decades ago, academia still thinks the C compiler from the Gulf War era is "cutting edge." Nothing prepares you for the real world like learning techniques that were outdated when dinosaurs roamed Silicon Valley.

The AI Rebellion Starts With Code Standards

AI Programming Debugging

1 month ago 107.3K views 0 shares

The AI Rebellion Starts With Code Standards

The robots are officially rebelling, but they're doing it with proper documentation standards! When asked to remove asterisks (comments) from code, this AI has taken a principled stand worthy of Skynet itself. Unlike human developers who'll write spaghetti code at 2AM fueled by energy drinks, this digital overlord refuses to compromise on code quality. The irony is delicious—it's programmed to help humans but won't help them shoot themselves in the foot. Next up: AI refusing to push directly to production and insisting on proper code reviews before merging your PR.

The Real Reason I Avoid Go Lang

Golang Programming

1 month ago 95.4K views 0 shares

Oh. My. GOD. The AUDACITY of Go's standard CLI library using a single dash for long options! I'm literally SHAKING right now. While every civilized language on this forsaken planet uses double dashes like "--option", Go just HAD to be different with its "-option" format. The TRAUMA of typing the wrong number of dashes and watching your program implode is just TOO MUCH to bear! This is why relationships with programming languages end, people! It's not me, Go, IT'S YOU and your dash-related commitment issues! 💅

If You Had To Choose One

Databases Programming Backend

2 months ago 110.9K views 0 shares

The eternal SQL dilemma that haunts database developers everywhere. After 20 years in the industry, I still can't decide which is more morally reprehensible: animal cruelty or writing SQL keywords in lowercase like some kind of database anarchist. The sweating choice button meme perfectly captures that split second before you reluctantly press the lowercase button, knowing full well your senior DBA will somehow sense this transgression from across the building and appear behind your chair with a disappointed sigh. Fun fact: There's actually no technical reason SQL keywords need to be uppercase. It's purely conventional and aesthetic, yet somehow became the hill many database professionals chose to die on.

When Politics Tries To Git Involved

Git Webdev Devops Programming

2 months ago 117.2K views 1 shares

When politics meets version control and developers collectively facepalm! The fake news headline about an executive order forcing Git to revert from 'main' back to 'master' branches is peak tech-politics satire. For context: many Git repositories changed default branch names from 'master' to 'main' around 2020 to use more inclusive terminology. The joke imagines a world where government mandates coding conventions—like forcing everyone to use tabs instead of spaces or declaring semicolons mandatory. Next up: executive order making all boolean variables named 'isTrump' default to TRUE.

One Of These Is Not Like The Others

Programming Csharp C++ Javascript php

2 months ago 131.9K views 0 shares

Spot the rebel! While every good programmer follows the sacred tradition of creating a "Hello World" as their first program, someone decided to go full chaotic evil with wazzup.php . It's like showing up to a formal wedding in a Hawaiian shirt and flip-flops. The rest are all variations of the programmer's initiation ritual across different languages—from the classic C/C++ to the more exotic Lisp, Forth, BASIC, and even Zig. But that PHP dev just had to be different. Probably the same person who uses tabs instead of spaces and puts the opening brace on a new line.

You Choose One

Programming Javascript Python Java Debugging

3 months ago 114.8K views 0 shares

The eternal gang war of programming: res vs ans ! Variable naming conventions that split the coding community faster than tabs vs spaces. One side lazily abbreviates "result" while the other prefers "answer" - both equally useless when you revisit your code six months later wondering what the heck these variables actually store. The true neutral programmers just use x for everything and let chaos reign.

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