The AI Rebellion Starts With Code Standards

When Indeed thinks your software engineering skills make you perfect for managing a fast food joint, but still has the audacity to include a "This is a bad match" button. The irony is delicious – unlike what you'd be serving at El Pollo Loco. The tech industry in 2024: Spend 10 years mastering distributed systems and microservices architecture so you can flip chicken and manage teenagers making minimum wage. But hey, you get to "apply your skills in a new industry" – because apparently writing code and cooking poultry require the same skill set!

The corporate boardroom at NVIDIA is a special kind of hell. When the boss says "We need to make better GPUs," two executives immediately jump to the money-making strategies: "Add more AI upscaling features!" and "Make it £2000!" Meanwhile, the lone reasonable employee suggests "Maybe some more v-ram and price it fairly." Next frame: That employee gets defenestrated from the building. Because nothing says "valued team member" like being thrown through a window for suggesting consumer-friendly features instead of wallet-draining AI buzzwords. Fun fact: NVIDIA's latest GPUs cost more than my first car, but at least they can render my tears in real-time ray-traced 8K.

Ah, the sweet innocence of AI coding assistants. You ask them to fix one simple bug, and they happily fly away while your codebase explodes in the background. Twenty years in this industry and I've learned one truth: the only thing more dangerous than a junior dev with admin access is an AI confidently "helping" your code. The smug little face says it all - "My work here is done!" Meanwhile, you're left explaining to the product manager why the login button now launches nuclear missiles. Classic case of the cure being worse than the disease.

Oh look, it's the compiler we all secretly want but are too afraid to admit! The "AI C Compiler" (aicc) is basically what happens when you combine a programmer's desperation with their unwillingness to learn proper memory management. Instead of fixing your semicolons and memory leaks like a responsible adult, just throw your garbage code at ChatGPT and pray! "Will your code compile? Will it be fast or slow? Will it have memory leaks?" Who knows! It's like playing Russian roulette with your codebase, except all chambers are loaded and the gun is pointed at your production server. The best part? You don't even need to understand what you're doing anymore! Just make vague gestures at your requirements and let AI figure it out. Programming degree? Waste of money. Stack Overflow? Ancient history. Just whisper sweet nothings to the machine and watch it spit out code that's probably better than yours anyway.

Finally, a sorting algorithm with the computational complexity of O($$). Just send your array to GPT, pay a few cents, and get it back sorted. Perfect for when you need your data arranged but can't be bothered to remember how quicksort works. The best part? If your array isn't sorted correctly, you can just claim it's because the AI "didn't understand the vibe" of your integers.

That moment when your gaming investment turns into an AI research lab. You bought that RTX 4090 thinking your kid would be fragging noobs, but instead they're fine-tuning language models and talking about "hyperparameter optimization." The betrayal is immeasurable. Next thing you know, they'll be explaining why they need a server rack for Christmas.