If You Had To Choose One

database sql Syntax Coding conventions Coding style Developer dilemma Uppercase Lowercase

Databases Programming Backend

11 hours ago 67,184 views 0 shares

If You Had To Choose One

sql-memes, database-memes, coding-conventions-memes, developer-dilemma-memes, programming-humor-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

The eternal SQL dilemma that haunts database developers everywhere. After 20 years in the industry, I still can't decide which is more morally reprehensible: animal cruelty or writing SQL keywords in lowercase like some kind of database anarchist. The sweating choice button meme perfectly captures that split second before you reluctantly press the lowercase button, knowing full well your senior DBA will somehow sense this transgression from across the building and appear behind your chair with a disappointed sigh.

Fun fact: There's actually no technical reason SQL keywords need to be uppercase. It's purely conventional and aesthetic, yet somehow became the hill many database professionals chose to die on.

More Like This

Our Sql

Databases Backend

1 year ago 5.9K views 0 shares

ourSql | sql-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

Content OUR SOL

Dammit Linda

Databases Programming Backend

3 years ago 13.5K views 0 shares

Dammit Linda | string-memes, api-memes, IT-memes, rds-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

Content Three words. Eight letters Say it and I'm yours. Dammit Linda why does it have to be this? You know there are (-25 ways to just partition 8 letters into 3 words, and that's disregarding empty strings. On top of that there's 268 possibilities for those 8 letters. And that's only the lowercase English alphabet as well. What if it has capitals, symbols, heck, even Roman Numerals as well? Can you at least tell me which alphabet we're working with here? Because if it's just the English one then I'm not sure you're worth the 4176541291520 guesses. Giving me computationally hard problems is a bad way to start a relationship Linda.

No Need To Shout

Databases Programming Backend

1 month ago 72.9K views 0 shares

No Need To Shout

OMG THE DRAMA OF SQL DEVELOPERS AND THEIR CAPS LOCK ADDICTION! 😱 These poor souls are literally SUFFERING PHYSICAL PAIN from writing their queries in ALL CAPS! Cracking knuckles! Neck strain! Leg cramps! And the ultimate villain? That treacherous Caps Lock key just sitting there, MOCKING THEM with its power! The keyboard equivalent of a siren song luring developers into a world where SELECT, FROM, and WHERE must be SCREAMED at the database for it to understand. Because apparently databases are HARD OF HEARING or something?! The SQL language doesn't even care about case sensitivity, yet here we are, DESTROYING OUR BODIES for the sake of tradition! The AUDACITY!

The SQL Join Facial Recognition Guide

Databases Algorithms Programming Backend

13 days ago 80.6K views 0 shares

The SQL Join Facial Recognition Guide

Finally, a visual aid for SQL joins that won't disappear from your brain after 5 minutes! Forget those boring Venn diagrams—these facial expressions perfectly capture the existential dread of figuring out which JOIN to use at 2 AM when your query is returning 17 million duplicate rows. The subtle difference between that "I've lost all hope" look of INNER JOIN versus the "I've seen things" thousand-yard stare of FULL JOIN is just *chef's kiss*. Database administrators around the world are printing this out and taping it to their monitors as we speak.

Russian roulette

Databases Programming Backend

3 years ago 12.5K views 0 shares

Russian roulette | server-memes, IT-memes, rds-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

Content Stop it, you're crazy! This isn't you talking, it's the vodka! It's not a game for cowards... Leave it. Come on, gimme that and let's get it over with! Each one on his own prod server? Each one on his own prod server. rootserver: RANDOM 6 0 rm -rf I echo "Lucky boy", CommitStrip.com

Programming In Jobs Outside IT

Databases Microsoft Windows Programming Python

19 days ago 102.7K views 0 shares

Programming In Jobs Outside IT

The corporate world's dirty little secret: why learn fancy languages when Excel macros will make you the office wizard? Non-IT folks don't care about your elegant Python algorithms—they just want their spreadsheets to stop crashing. VBA might be the programming equivalent of using a hammer to screw in a nail, but damn if it doesn't get you immediate results while the "real programmers" are still setting up their development environments. SQL queries in Access might make database engineers cry, but nothing says job security like being the only person who can make the ancient accounting system spit out quarterly reports.