Bestpractices Memes

If It Works, Don't Touch It

27 days ago 168.7K views 0 shares

The first rule of production code: never mess with something that's running smoothly. The second rule? Bombard your non-working code with console.log() statements until you've extracted a full confession from every variable. It's not debugging—it's an interrogation. The code will talk eventually. They always do.

Best I Can Do Is A Reset

Security Programming Databases Backend

1 month ago 164.2K views 0 shares

The eternal dance of users forgetting passwords and sysadmins shrugging helplessly! Proper password storage means even admins can't see your actual password - they can only nuke it back to factory settings. That's not incompetence; that's security by design . Your password should be a one-way hash buried so deep that even the database admin is just staring at a cryptographic salad. If your IT person CAN tell you your password, update your resume immediately because that company's security is more vulnerable than PHP without input sanitization.

True Wealth

Testing Webdev Programming Debugging Frontend

2 months ago 176.7K views 0 shares

Using a real card for Stripe testing is like burning money to stay warm. The true flex isn't having a black Amex—it's knowing about Stripe's test card numbers like 4242 4242 4242 4242. Some developers just want to watch their bank account burn.

My Sr Dev Is "Awesome"

Programming Security Debugging Testing Backend

2 months ago 121.9K views 0 shares

Junior dev thinks they're getting a friendly tutorial. Senior dev is actually showing them the 17 security vulnerabilities they introduced last week, the database schema they mangled, and why their "clever" one-liner will crash in production. That intense stare isn't mentorship—it's barely contained rage disguised as "teaching moments."

We Log Everything

Debugging Devops Programming Backend

4 months ago 151.2K views 0 shares

Every dev team meeting ever: "We need comprehensive logging for troubleshooting!" Fast forward three months, and your production server is churning out 20GB of logs daily that nobody ever looks at until something explodes. The uncomfortable silence when someone asks about your log monitoring strategy is the same silence you hear when asking who's been reviewing the 8,432 Dependabot PRs from last month. The real senior dev move? Grep through 10 million lines at 3AM while muttering "I know it's in here somewhere" as the CEO keeps texting for updates.

Still Waiting For Answer

Security Devops Agile Programming

4 months ago 161.9K views 0 shares

Captain Picard is losing his mind over the security nightmare of storing passwords in Jira tickets. Nothing says "please hack us" like dropping credentials in a project management tool used by half the company. Next up: writing API keys on sticky notes and slapping them on the office fridge. Security professionals everywhere just felt a disturbance in the force.

Don't Actually Do This

Git Security Devops Programming Backend

4 months ago 170.4K views 0 shares

Ah yes, the classic "fix" that fixes nothing. Committing your .env file to Git is like putting your house keys under the welcome mat and posting the address on Twitter. Sure, your code errors are gone... along with your database credentials, API keys, and whatever shred of respect your senior dev had for you. But hey, ship it.

I Don't Always Test My Code

Testing Devops Git Programming Debugging

5 months ago 201.3K views 0 shares

The classic "test in production" approach - because who needs staging environments when you've got paying customers as your QA team? Nothing quite matches that adrenaline rush of pushing untested code straight to prod and then watching the Slack channel explode while frantically typing "git revert" with one hand and reaching for coffee with the other. It's like skydiving, except the parachute is made of Stack Overflow answers and desperate prayers.

The Trade Off With Vibe Coded Apps

Security Programming Debugging

5 months ago 150.9K views 0 shares

When you code based on "vibes" instead of best practices, your app security ends up looking like Swiss cheese. Full of holes. Vulnerable to attack. But hey, at least it compiled on the first try, right? The number of security vulnerabilities is directly proportional to how many times you said "this feels right" while coding.

They Call Me Psychopath

Testing Devops Programming Debugging

5 months ago 149.1K views 0 shares

The prison conversation we never wanted to see: a hardened criminal boasting about murder while our innocent developer admits to testing in production. And somehow, the murderer is the one horrified! Testing in production is basically the digital equivalent of performing heart surgery with a butter knife while the patient is giving a business presentation. Sure, it might work, but you're one misplaced semicolon away from bringing down an entire company and making your Slack notifications explode at 2AM. Even serial killers have standards, apparently.

The Users Are Our QA Department

Testing Devops Agile Programming Debugging

5 months ago 215.0K views 0 shares

Nothing says "I trust my code" like pushing straight to production at 4:16 AM. Why waste time with QA when your paying customers can find bugs for free? It's the ultimate efficiency hack—your users are basically unpaid interns with admin privileges. The best part? When everything inevitably crashes, you can just blame it on "unexpected user behavior" while frantically rolling back commits at 4:17 AM. Who needs sleep when you can have the adrenaline rush of watching your Slack notifications explode?

Heart Attack Driven Development

StackOverflow AI Programming Debugging

5 months ago 195.0K views 0 shares

The evolution of a developer's heart palpitations! While reading documentation keeps your cardiac rhythm steady, copying Stack Overflow code makes it flutter a bit. But blindly pasting AI-generated code? That's cardiac arrest territory. Nothing says "I've given up on understanding what I'm doing" quite like asking ChatGPT to solve your problems and implementing the solution without even a sanity check. The blurrier the heart, the closer you are to being promoted to "Stack Trace Interpreter Intern."

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