Programmer 
Content
The Proud Parent The Linker REPENT TOMER – Half your manager, half your senior – Designed the codebase – Will always answer your question, but only after a 5 minute on the motivations of a now rebuilt module from years ago – "I remember when we had to do that process in the AWS console with just a trackpad, uphill both ways" – Tough during code review, but genuinely happy to see you ship new features to the system The Job Security Maximizer – Always sends you a link when you ask a question, sometimes without any other words – "Look at this" – Thinks you don’t know standard documentation exists – Posts medium articles in the main channel, doesn’t read them – Never reviews code – First stack overflow result The Big Chiller – "Ohh, that? Sorry I totally forgot all – Been around for years, knows the entire about the code I wrote a month ago" codebase – Tells you to ask someone else for the – Friends with the CTO simplest question – Shows you the exact line of code that – Has dozens of pages of private notes, causes your bug within 5 minutes READMEs all read "initial commit" – They last shipped a commit a couple – "Have you thought about adding an months ago, you think abstracter to this abstraction? With that – Always approves your PRs we can decouple the coupler from the universe" 10 i0