When Your IDE Becomes The Harshest Critic

The ultimate double standard! 😂 While designers freak out when DALL-E 2 steals their artwork, programmers are over here like "You stole my GitHub code? Sweet! Did you actually make that garbage run properly?" It's the coding equivalent of saying "I left that mess on purpose as a trap for the next poor soul!" The desperation of "pls fix my garbage code" is the silent plea we've all made when sharing our repos. We're not stealing code, we're just... collaboratively debugging . 👨‍💻✨

OH. MY. GOD. This poor soul just reinvented the wheel in the MOST PAINFUL WAY POSSIBLE! 😱 They're out here writing 30+ lines of bit-twiddling nightmare fuel to do what C++ could handle with a SINGLE LINE using std::bitset ! The sheer AUDACITY to ask "why use C++" while simultaneously drowning in bitwise operators! It's like watching someone dig a tunnel with a spoon when there's a perfectly good excavator sitting RIGHT THERE! The irony is so thick you could spread it on toast! This isn't just missing the forest for the trees—this is missing the entire ecosystem while obsessively counting individual atoms in a leaf!

When you've been coding for 14 hours straight and YouTube's algorithm hits you with "Not Everyone Should Code" while you're debugging your 157th null pointer exception of the day. That crying cat is all of us at 2am wondering if maybe—just maybe—we should've listened to our guidance counselor and gone into accounting instead.

Content IF THE WORLD WAS CREATED BY A PROGRAMMER IN THe BEGINNING, THERE WAS ThE hEaven AND THE EARTH BUT THE EARTH WAS FORMLESS AND BUGGY, WITHOUT DOCUMENTATION BY toggl AND THE PROGRAMMER SAW THAT IT WAS NOT GOOD THEN YOU SAID "LET THERE BE LIGHT! BUT ThE LIGHT Did NOT COMPILE. On THE SECOND DAY YOU MERGE WATER YOU CREATE HACK SO THAT LIGHT IS PART OF THE LAND TO CREATE DARKNESS, YOU NEED TO HIDE THE LAND, BUt That's OK CAUSE CREATURES WONT BE ADDED UNTIL LATER. AND STACKOVERFLOW SAID IT'S FINE Wherev BUT BECAUSE OF ThE DEPENDEncY, LIGHT BREAKS AS LAND IS ACCIDENTALLY CLOODED YOU CHECK STACKOVERFLOW (IN THE DARKNESS) IT'S ThE THIRD DAY. YOU TRY TO ADD CREATURES YOU ADD THEM IN THE TURNS OUT the CREATURES IN THE DARKNESS, BUT BROWSER USINg COoKIES, NEEDED TO BE ADDED SOONER, THERE'S NO LAND WITHOUT we Tart UNFORTUNATELY MAKES THEM MORTAL BuT The CLienT FOrGoT to LIGHT, AND YOU CAN'T HAVE LIGHT BECAUSE OF THE MENTION THAT WATER IT's THE FOuRTH DAY. YOU DECIDE TO USE C YOU ALSO USE ST TURNS OUT THE ISSUES TO CREATE A BALLOON FOR ABSTrACTIONS,AND THAT INFLATES THE EARTH IT WORKS OUT GREAT WERE CAUSED BY THE WITH FLAT EARTH DESIGN COMPLICATIONS WHATSOEVER! IT'S THE FIFtH DaY YOU START ADDING PeOPLE TO HELP YOU ON THE SIXTH DAY YoU LOOK AT THe CHAOS YOU CREATED ON THE SEVENTH DAY YOU REALLY WANT TO REST BUT YoU NEED To ORGANISE ALL YoU'VE CREATED DANGLING POINTE YOU DECIDE TO CREATE THEM IN YOUR LIKENESS, WHICH IS A MISTAKE REACT THEY IMMEDIATELY POPULATE THE EARTH WITH HACKS FADS AND UNNECESSARY JAVASCRIPT LIBRARIES FUCKIT.JS) SQUERI YOU ATTEMPT TO LEAD PEOPLE BACK TO SENSIBLE PROGRAMMING, BUT IT IS TOO LATE- EVERYTHING RUNS ON DEPENDENCIES. DAVTIMEAIR.JS HORMONE SEA.JS REALISTIC.WAVES.JS BETTERBANKS.JS BASE.JS GIRAFFE.JS SUNDE MONGODB TOGGL.COM MART VIRKUS '17

Content robin dreamsofsloth 1d the first thing our new hire did was fix a bug that's been bugging him forever as a user prior to joining. he then breathed a sigh of relief and submitted his two weeks' notice. Wtf?? 67 17 822 4373 Show this thread

The eternal delusion of a programmer's first successful compile. That brief, shining moment when your code runs without errors and you're convinced you've transcended mere mortality. Give it five minutes - reality's about to hit harder than a production server at Black Friday.